Governor Hubbard: He's Back

Billy Roy came into the Cafe this week with his "Dick Cheney Rules" tee shirt and a huge smile. He pulled the Waco Tribune out of his pocket and flipped to a middle page of the front section to read a tiny article including the following: "They asked us not to announce our findings publicly, and we agreed, giving them the benefit of our work and the benefit of the doubt," Cheney said.

Cheney's comments countered a recent claim by White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel that the Obama administration had to form an Afghan war strategy from scratch because the Bush administration hadn't asked any key questions about the war and left it "adrift."

Billy Roy says "no one kicks b-- nor takes names like Dick."

Meanwhile, the long awaited second coming of Gov. Richard B. Hubbard, a.k.a. DB, has happened. Butch Jackson, local philosopher and sole supporter of Kinky Friedman for President in 1987 (which wasn't even an election year), was whiter than a central Texas cloud in July when he reported to the folks at the Cafe this week. It appears Butch isn't completely comfortable talking to ghosts quite yet.

It seems that the Governor actually was able to shake Butch awake with some heavy duty door slamming (not an easy task) on Tuesday night. The exchange went something like this:

Butch: "Whoa, D.B. easy on the door, is that you?"

D.B.: "The one and only. How's my Hubbard City doing?"?

Butch: "Well, your forecast of the future in 2011 really scared the folks (see 10/17/2009 blog), but there are those who think I made it all up. Course with the Hubbard Jags at 1-4, people are so irritable they are really critical of big thinkers like myself."

D.B.: "They will come around once the season's over. Let's get to work. Let me tell you how this impending government takeover of the U.S. all got started. Back in the late 1800s a guy named Karl Marx came up with this political scheme (by the way all politics are about Power and Control) to get the masses of people to revolt by focusing on Economic issues. That would be the 'spreading the wealth around/redistribution of wealth' to the masses. This movement was followed in later years by people like Lenin, Engels, Stalin, Mao, Castro, and Chavez. Most of these guys became fascists and slaughtered more people in the name of helping the masses than any other movements in history. Are you with me?"

Butch: "Nothing new here, D.B. So far I could write the book."

D.B. "It's coming. In the 1920's these Socialists formed the Institute of Social Research, later known as the Frankfurt School, which moved to Europe during the war, and then came back to Columbia University (where your current President went to school during his drug period). The Frankfurt group felt the socialist movement must be worldwide including wealthy nations like the U.S. The U.S. people resisted because they were 'blinded' by their economic success, so the Socialists launched a Cultural movement to complement the Economic movement. Butch, Butch, wake up, damn it."

Butch: "Sorry D.B., it won't happen again, but I had a hard day making protest signs that said 'Obama: The Buck Starts Here'."

D.B: "I like it. O.K., the Cultural Movement was based on identifying or creating so called 'minority groups' and basically making them victims of the Old Dead White Christian Men (ODWCM) that we talked about last time --men like Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Reagan, Churchill, etc."

Butch: "And who are these victim groups?"

D.B.: "Come on, Butch, think. We can start with Racial Groups like Blacks (and now Hispanics) and then once we include feminists, homosexuals, labor unions, illegal drug users, abortionists, students, trial lawyers, atheists, etc. we have a pretty good voting constituency. All out for personal gain and blaming the ODWCMs for their plights. So basically the socialists combined economic and cultural forces under the slogan of Social Justice. This is what your Scott Riddle would call an 'idiot pitch'."

Butch: "Where does Obama come in?"

D.B.: "I am running out of my allotted 30 minutes so I will leave you with a couple of recent news articles to make my point on how the current regime are getting people to sign on to the stealth socialist movement by buying votes using Cultural Issues. We will talk about Obama when I come back. Meanwhile hang in there. I'll be back!"


Headlines: Feds to Issue New Medical Marijuana PolicyMonday, October 19, 2009 3:40

WASHINGTON -- Federal drug agents won't pursue pot-smoking patients or their sanctioned suppliers in states that allow medical marijuana, under new legal guidelines to be issued Monday by the Obama administration.


Headlines: Obama to End "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Published: October 10, 2009
WASHINGTON — President Obama on Saturday renewed his vow to allow gay men and lesbians to serve openly in the military. “I will end ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ ” Mr. Obama told an audience of nearly 3,000 people at a fund-raising dinner for the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest gay advocacy group. “That is my commitment to you.”

Think About It,

Jim

Circle Flies Swarming Obama's War Counsel

Aunt Martha had coffee while snooping at the Hubbard City Drug Store and observed the following: Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." Sue got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my Margarita...... "She's such a smart alec" . . .

Everyone back way up because Billy Roy is ripped, "Can you believe the latest? Chairman Obama and his alleged War Counsel are holding up a decision on supporting General McChrystal's request for troops in Afghanistan, 'The Good War', until they can assess the strength of the Afghan government. And who is in Kabul assessing the government but our old Viet Nam 'hero', John (lie like a dog) Kerry. Remember the one that lied to Congress about how he saw our troops burn and pillage villages in Nam. The one who had so much support from his fellow swift boat comrades."

"What a bunch of horse s--t. I'll bet the circle flies are power swarming the oval office. Hell, the Taliban has already done their assessment of the strength of our Obama government, and they went on the attack."

"Meanwhile our troops are undermanned in Obama's 'essential' Afghan war. Don't you just love the liberal elites. We go into Iraq and run Al Qaeda out, and the libs ask what are we doing there when the bad guys are in Afghanistan? We go into Afghanistan and run them out, and the libs ask why are we there? The truth is the Chicken Libs run from conflict faster than a French soldier with a white flag. This girlie boy Obama brings back memories of Billy Boy Clinton. He is more interested in doing away with any restrictions on gays in the military so that they can dance with each other than in supporting real soldiers doing real things to find, kill, and capture real murdering radical Muslim terrorists."

B.M. paused to get a deep breath, "I am sick of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer, Russ Feingold, Pat Leahy, Barack Obama, Chuck Schumer, and the Hollywood Leftist morons: Every time they stand in front of television cameras and broadcast to the Islamic Nazis that we went to war because our President lied, that the war is wrong and our Soldiers are torturers, that we should leave Iraq, they give the Islamic butchers - the same ones that tortured and mutilated American Soldiers - cause to think that we'll run away again, and all they have to do is hang on a little longer. It is certain that we will have to defeat the Islamic jihadists. Better to do it now on their turf (Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Iran), than later in downtown Hubbard."

Meanwhile, the Cafe is anxiously awaiting another visit by Govenor Hubbard, honorable and deceased advisor to Butch Jackson (see 10/17 post).

Think about it,

Jim

Spooky Visit From the Honorable and Deceased Governor Hubbard

Butch Jackson, fact checker and philosopher of local renown, brought a really wild tale to the Cafe this past week. It seems Butch claims that he was awakened by a ghostly figure standing above his bed in the middle of the night. First you need to know a little history. Hubbard was once named Slap Out for a store whose owner apparently had trouble keeping his shelves stocked.

The community’s name, Slap Out, stuck until 1881 when a rail depot (The Cottonbelt Railroad) was opened and the town was officially founded as Hubbard (I was just a young kid at the time). The town was named for former Texas governor Richard B. Hubbard, who was present at the depot dedication.

Well it seems the dialogue with this ghostly figure went something like this.

Butch: " Whoa, who are you?"

Ghost: "I am the honorable, and deceased, Governor of Texas, Richard B. Hubbard. I am one of the many 'old dead white men' that today's politically correct Marxists hate. Just call me D.B."

Butch: "Why are you in my bedroom?"

D.B.: "I am on a mission from God. Being deceased I can obviously see into the future. I am fond of Hubbard and love to listen in on your discussions at the Hubbard City Cafe. I am here to warn you about things in your future that could have a negative effect on my namesake, Hubbard City."

Butch: "Why me?"

D.B.: "Because you are a man who is accurate to a fault, a great philosopher, and have at least a 50/50 chance of getting things somewhat right."

Butch? "So what's in our future that we need to know?"

D.B.: "Let's start with the year 2017. Barack Hussein Obama was just elected to be the Secretary General of the United Nations, except he has already changed the title to the World Chairman of Social Justice. U.N. trucks have just confiscated Scott Riddle's cows under the World Clean Air and Climate Change Law. Scott tried to track them but of course he was limited to a ten mile chase because he ran out of World Fuel Ration Slips."

Butch: "What the hell? That stuff just ain't right."

D.B.: "I don't have all night, let me finish. Scott took this pretty hard and took on some real severe chest pains. He is probably O.K. but we won't really know until he sees the doctor sometime next year in Chicago. Meanwhile, Scott's wife Pat, is appealing to the Mayor of Hubbard, Hector Raul Chavez, who is vacationing in Havana until the Spring ice thaw. It doesn't look good for Scott because, as you know, it was reported that he used the 'N' word in the Drug Store back in 1950 when he was a well known right wing radical in grade school and world class slingshot marksman. Of course, not getting into the Chicago Hospital may be a good thing, because no one from Hubbard has ever returned from that place yet."

Butch: "Well, at least Scott has put his money away. I'll bet he and the family won't starve."

D.B.: "Maybe, Pat has applied for a Check Writing Voucher which is under consideration by the office of the President of the World Bank, Jesse Jackson Jr. the 5th, who is headquartered in Harlem, N.Y. Of course, Jesse is currently vacationing in South Africa until the big thaw is expected in year 2020."

Butch: "How the hell did all this happen? Also, I just know Sweet Lou Tekell is going to want to know if Rush Limbaugh ever bought an NFL team?"

D.B.: "How this happened is a short story, but I have to run since God has only been allocated by Chairman Obama a time slot between 3:00 and 3:30 AM for any non-Muslim religious missions. We don't get the 24 hour non-stop radio time that Rush gets to advertise his Waco Rednecks outdoor ice hockey team. I don't know anything about the NFL. To quote an old dead white man who was governor of Caleeefornia, I'll be back."

Wow, as you might expect the folks are real stirred up about this report from Butch. Billy Roy say's,"no wonder The Methodist Church of Hubbard was told to stop sending their annual Christmas Tree Ornament to the White House because they will not use any 'religious' decorations this year on the Obamatree which they call a 'Holiday (not Christmas) Tree'."

This caused Scotty Andersen to use an overly used slogan, "well always remember, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. Remember the two things Bill Clinton and Obama have in common is that both of their fathers were bigamist." Of course, nobody at the Cafe has any idea what Scotty means by this except that it does sound somewhat profound.

Think about it,

Jim

Radical Speech Led By a Hubbard Patriot

This is an "on the ground, first hand" report from Hubbard, Texas.

Kittye Cox Bolen reminds me of Joanne Herring, the heroine in the book and movie, "Charlie Wilson's War". If Kittye ever grew to over 5 feet tall, it wasn't by very much. She has outlived two husbands, the last of which was in the "oil bizness". Kittye's mom was a wonderful third grade school teacher in Hubbard, Texas, and her brother was one of the best "pulling guards" that ever played football at Hubbard High School.

This Saturday Kittye was chairing the 50th Anniversary of her graduating class of 1959 at the Hubbard High School reunion. As is the tradition several other classes, mine included, crashed their party. Kittye is a faithful follower and contributor to this blog and that tells you a little about her political leanings. In her closing comments she presented a plague with the names of those in her class that are deceased, and then recognized each member of her class who had served this country in the military.

Kittye's voice began to break a little, and I thought, "uh oh, now she is going to start spouting that right wing, conspiratorial, neo-Nazis, Rush Limbaugh indoctrinating, conservative stuff." And indeed, she actually had everyone stand, face the wall, and put their hands over their hearts to repeat after her in a loud and clear voice:

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,
And to the Republic for which it stands.
One Nation, under God, indivisible,
With Liberty, and Justice, for All."

Sure enough on that wall was a huge American flag, however, nothing stood taller this day in that room than Kittye Cox Bolen.

As our Nation faces the most serious challenges that we have faced in our lifetimes, I would encourage each of us to focus on the words highlighted in this pledge.

Think about it,

Jim

Nobel Peace Prize Winners: What are they up to?

As this post goes to press the local newspaper had three headlines:

TALIBAN CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY FOR ROADSIDE BOMB MURDERING 18 IN AFGHANISTAN

OBAMA INSIDER SAID HE IS LEANING TO SENDING FEWER TROOPS TO AFGHANISTAN WHILE LETTING TALIBAN PARTICIPATE IN GOVERNMENT

OBAMA WINS NOBLE PEACE PRIZE

I will let you mull on this while I join the coffee drinkers this PM for their response to today's news.

Meanwhile:

Long time readers of this blog have followed closely the debate between the coffee drinkers at the Hubbard City Drug Store (the Libs) and Scott Riddle, local cattle baron. As you recall the Libs feel that excess gas aimed by Scott's cows at downtown Hubbard has caused severe warming on a global scale in both of the months of July and August for the past "re-callable" years.

Well the debate escalated to a Town Hall Meeting last week in which local unpaid consultant, D.W. Castellaw, gave the following presentation after having done no research on the subject whatsoever, however, D. W. did live in California at one time for several years.

"First let me say there are those who say the earth is doomed by 'Global Warming' which is clearly caused by excessive CO2 emissions which are caused by excessive energy consumption which is caused by the increase in the world's standard of living. These doomsayers argue the only thing that will save mankind is the 'greening' of he world by reducing our standard of living at a very high cost. This greening process will also make an elite group of people very rich (Algore, W. J. Clinton, T. Boone Pickens, and other recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize and friends). This greening will take place from proposed legislation called 'Cap and Trade'."

"Bottom line, these global warmers are proposing an expensive solution to an unproven problem. Meanwhile, anyone that questions their plan is accused of being so stupid they still believe the earth is flat."

Mr. Castellaw continued, "Scientists have been studying the process of temperature change for years including factors such as sunspot activity, the Earth's tilt, and elliptical orbit around the sun, the Earth's albedo, atmospheric heat retention, ocean current cycles, and land mass distribution. The question of global climate change should be left to scientists and not to Nobel Peace Prize winners who are in collusion with the United Nations to destroy the United States of America and make an elite group of slimy people a lot of money. Certainly as we better understand the causes we know that controlling human-caused CO2 is not the answer and in fact may be the biggest scam perpetrated on mankind in all of history."

As Mr. Castellaw concluded his remarks Billy Roy Mitcham, local C&W singing star and philosopher specializing on local issues, turned to the only two people who had not already left during the presentation and said, "why the hell don't we just point Riddle's cows the other direction?"

Think about CAP and TRADE,

Jim

First Hand Report: Olympics, Obama Flies, and Hybrids

I got my info from the Cafe first hand this week. It started with Sweet Lou Tekell, a sports expert and Cafe regular, quoting Valerie Jarrett, a Chicago thug-ess, before the Telepresident went to Copenhagen, "The Olympic spirit is about giving it your very best down to the finish line and not taking anything for granted. That's what his presence in Copenhagen will demonstrate," Jarrett said.

With that set up I had to ask Sweet Lou, a sports expert of world renown, why we finished a distant fourth? His answer came back pretty quick, "because there were only 4 teams in the running". My response was, "got it". After that there wasn't much to be said about the Olympics.

Scotty Andersen changed the subject. He said a good friend of his brother's from Midland was "cowboyin" in West Texas when Candidate Obama came through early in his presidential campaign. Scotty said evidently the tour wasn't going so well and Obama seemed a little testy. When he discovered the cowboy was from Midland, George Bush's former residence, Obama starts to belittle the cowboy by talking in a southern drawl and using single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?" Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies. "Well Sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse." "Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, being Chicago street smart like he is, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?" "No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds in a threatening tone and begins rambling on once more. After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."

Billy Roy Mitcham follows Bill Clinton like a hawk ever since Butch Jackson bet him that he would give him $20 if he could ever catch Bill telling the truth. BR says, "would you believe when the congressman calls Obama a liar on national TV that the very next weekend who does Obama bring out to carry his water but Old William Jefferson Clinton who went on Meet the Press. He had a hard time staying on the topic of Afghanistan, Iran, and Health Care because of his constant plugging of our global warming need to go forward with a clean energy plan that would get us out of our economic problems while serving all other ills. What do you want to bet Old Bill has some financials involved with his buddies AlGore, T. Boone, Colin Powell, Goldman Sacs, and those guys they call Venture Capitalists?"

"Old Bill got warmed up talking about the 8 years George Bush was in office with a Republican Congress forgetting about George's second term when he and the Democratic Congress started the deficit things rolling. Good to know Bill still can make it up as he goes even if I still haven't found a way to get my $20."

Also BM called back with his cell phone from his truck as he drove away, "Did everyone catch the news on Obama stimulatinge AlGore with a $500m loan for his Detroit friends (UAW) and Finnish (can you believe it?) auto company that will build $89,000 hybrids (thats with 3 zeroes)? Which planet does this save, Planet Hollywood?"

Local banker, Doyle Lee Holderman, summmed things up with a warning about Obamacare. He said, "watch em closely. Obama says he will not sign a bill that isn't deficit neutral and the Dems in Congress will say they will pay for everything making it deficit neutral. The real issue isn't either of these, but the real problem is what does it cost. If it cost $1T (with a T) then to pay for it you must raise taxes (call it fees, price increases on insurance companies, surtaxes, or whatever) by that amount to make the bill deficit neutral and paid for. So the key questions are what does it cost? How big are the taxes? And how much will they lie about costs savings?"

Well, Hubbard is having their Homecoming this weekend, so I will load up first hand for my winter supply of basic truths from the Hubbard City Cafe.

Think about it,

Jim

Obama Weak? Not When It Comes to Attacking the Constitution

J. P. Legal, local big time Waco lawyer, has recently shared a letter about health care legistlation from a friend of his who is a constitutional lawyer.

Billy Roy Micham, local summarizer of complex issues, feels, "everybody (Russia, China, N. Korea, Iran, Libya, Taliban, Hubbard City Cafe, etc.) thinks our President is weak when it comes to anything but attacking our own U. S. Constitution. While our boys are under fire patroling the mountains of Afghanistan, and while their Commander has requested 40,000 additional troops ASAP, Barack Hussein Obama is stepping back, pausing, and re-evaluating his strategy except when he is flying to Copenhagen to make money for his corrupt Chicago Olympics mob or sitting done to talk with the lunatics from Iran. As I read this letter it occurred to me that BHO taught Constitutional Law as a college professor, so it this may be the one and only place where he knows what the hell he is doing."

Here is the letter for you to decide:

To: J. P.

I have read the entire text of proposed House Bill 3200: The Affordable Health CareChoices Act of 2009. I studied it with particular emphasis from my area of expertise, constitutional law.

To begin with, much of what has been said about the law and its implications is in fact true, despite what the Democrats and the media are saying. The law does provide for rationing of health care, free health care for illegal immigrants, free abortion services, and probably forced participation in abortions by members of the medical profession. The Bill will also eventually force private insurance companies out of business and put everyone into a government run system.

However, as scary as all of that it, it just scratches the surface. In fact, I have concluded that this legislation really has no intention of providing affordable health care choices. Instead, it is a convenient cover for the most massive transfer of power to the Executive Branch of government that has occurred. If this law or a similar one is adopted, major portions of the Constitution of the United States will effectively have been destroyed.

The first thing to go will be the masterfully crafted balance of power between the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches of the U.S. Government. I defy anyone to read the text of the U.S. Constitution and find any authority granted to the members of Congress to regulate health care.

This legislation also provides for access by the appointees of the Obama administration of all of your personal healthcare information, your personal financial information, and the information of your employer, physician, and hospital. All of this is a direct violation of the specific provisions of the 4th Amendment to the Constitution protecting against unreasonable searches and seizures.

If you decide not to have healthcare insurance or if you have private insurance that is not deemed "acceptable" to the "Health Choices Administrator" appointed by Obama there will be a tax imposed on you. It is called a "tax" instead of a fine because of the intent to avoid application of the due process clause of the 5th Amendment. However, that doesn't work because since there is nothing in the law that allows you to contest or appeal the imposition of the tax, it is definitely depriving someone of property without the "due process of law.

I could write many more pages about this legislation, but I think you get the idea. This is not about health care; it is about seizing power and limiting rights. Article 6 of the Constitution requires the members of both houses Congress to "be bound by oath or affirmation" to support the Constitution.

We are clearly living in historical times.

Think about it,

Jim

P. S. I almost forgot. Mom and Aunt Martha want me to pass on their latest exercise tip to all my friends. Here it is:

Jimmy,

This is really working for Martha and I:

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags. Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (Mom's at this level now.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

Grandma Maxine