Friday, October 9, 2009

Nobel Peace Prize Winners: What are they up to?

As this post goes to press the local newspaper had three headlines:




I will let you mull on this while I join the coffee drinkers this PM for their response to today's news.


Long time readers of this blog have followed closely the debate between the coffee drinkers at the Hubbard City Drug Store (the Libs) and Scott Riddle, local cattle baron. As you recall the Libs feel that excess gas aimed by Scott's cows at downtown Hubbard has caused severe warming on a global scale in both of the months of July and August for the past "re-callable" years.

Well the debate escalated to a Town Hall Meeting last week in which local unpaid consultant, D.W. Castellaw, gave the following presentation after having done no research on the subject whatsoever, however, D. W. did live in California at one time for several years.

"First let me say there are those who say the earth is doomed by 'Global Warming' which is clearly caused by excessive CO2 emissions which are caused by excessive energy consumption which is caused by the increase in the world's standard of living. These doomsayers argue the only thing that will save mankind is the 'greening' of he world by reducing our standard of living at a very high cost. This greening process will also make an elite group of people very rich (Algore, W. J. Clinton, T. Boone Pickens, and other recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize and friends). This greening will take place from proposed legislation called 'Cap and Trade'."

"Bottom line, these global warmers are proposing an expensive solution to an unproven problem. Meanwhile, anyone that questions their plan is accused of being so stupid they still believe the earth is flat."

Mr. Castellaw continued, "Scientists have been studying the process of temperature change for years including factors such as sunspot activity, the Earth's tilt, and elliptical orbit around the sun, the Earth's albedo, atmospheric heat retention, ocean current cycles, and land mass distribution. The question of global climate change should be left to scientists and not to Nobel Peace Prize winners who are in collusion with the United Nations to destroy the United States of America and make an elite group of slimy people a lot of money. Certainly as we better understand the causes we know that controlling human-caused CO2 is not the answer and in fact may be the biggest scam perpetrated on mankind in all of history."

As Mr. Castellaw concluded his remarks Billy Roy Mitcham, local C&W singing star and philosopher specializing on local issues, turned to the only two people who had not already left during the presentation and said, "why the hell don't we just point Riddle's cows the other direction?"

Think about CAP and TRADE,


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

First Hand Report: Olympics, Obama Flies, and Hybrids

I got my info from the Cafe first hand this week. It started with Sweet Lou Tekell, a sports expert and Cafe regular, quoting Valerie Jarrett, a Chicago thug-ess, before the Telepresident went to Copenhagen, "The Olympic spirit is about giving it your very best down to the finish line and not taking anything for granted. That's what his presence in Copenhagen will demonstrate," Jarrett said.

With that set up I had to ask Sweet Lou, a sports expert of world renown, why we finished a distant fourth? His answer came back pretty quick, "because there were only 4 teams in the running". My response was, "got it". After that there wasn't much to be said about the Olympics.

Scotty Andersen changed the subject. He said a good friend of his brother's from Midland was "cowboyin" in West Texas when Candidate Obama came through early in his presidential campaign. Scotty said evidently the tour wasn't going so well and Obama seemed a little testy. When he discovered the cowboy was from Midland, George Bush's former residence, Obama starts to belittle the cowboy by talking in a southern drawl and using single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?" Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies. "Well Sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse." "Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, being Chicago street smart like he is, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?" "No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds in a threatening tone and begins rambling on once more. After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."

Billy Roy Mitcham follows Bill Clinton like a hawk ever since Butch Jackson bet him that he would give him $20 if he could ever catch Bill telling the truth. BR says, "would you believe when the congressman calls Obama a liar on national TV that the very next weekend who does Obama bring out to carry his water but Old William Jefferson Clinton who went on Meet the Press. He had a hard time staying on the topic of Afghanistan, Iran, and Health Care because of his constant plugging of our global warming need to go forward with a clean energy plan that would get us out of our economic problems while serving all other ills. What do you want to bet Old Bill has some financials involved with his buddies AlGore, T. Boone, Colin Powell, Goldman Sacs, and those guys they call Venture Capitalists?"

"Old Bill got warmed up talking about the 8 years George Bush was in office with a Republican Congress forgetting about George's second term when he and the Democratic Congress started the deficit things rolling. Good to know Bill still can make it up as he goes even if I still haven't found a way to get my $20."

Also BM called back with his cell phone from his truck as he drove away, "Did everyone catch the news on Obama stimulatinge AlGore with a $500m loan for his Detroit friends (UAW) and Finnish (can you believe it?) auto company that will build $89,000 hybrids (thats with 3 zeroes)? Which planet does this save, Planet Hollywood?"

Local banker, Doyle Lee Holderman, summmed things up with a warning about Obamacare. He said, "watch em closely. Obama says he will not sign a bill that isn't deficit neutral and the Dems in Congress will say they will pay for everything making it deficit neutral. The real issue isn't either of these, but the real problem is what does it cost. If it cost $1T (with a T) then to pay for it you must raise taxes (call it fees, price increases on insurance companies, surtaxes, or whatever) by that amount to make the bill deficit neutral and paid for. So the key questions are what does it cost? How big are the taxes? And how much will they lie about costs savings?"

Well, Hubbard is having their Homecoming this weekend, so I will load up first hand for my winter supply of basic truths from the Hubbard City Cafe.

Think about it,