Thursday, March 25, 2010

How Dare You? A Letter From B. H. Obama

Billy Roy Michum called the coffee meeting to order with a statement of semi-disbelief, "I can't believe it but Obama has taken the time to write us a complaint letter, but he has. Before we read his letter just think about it: Iran's moving to nuclear weapons, the Palestinians are threatening Israel, China is driving us out of critical world markets, Osama Bin Laden is threatening us, our troops are committed to two wars, we continue to lose over 400,000 jobs a month in the US, and our leader Obama is going on a pep rally tour to sell the Health Care Monster that he, Pelosi, and Reid have stuffed down our throats into law. Now that they have this Monster in our stomachs they are going to continue to lie about how great it is going to be when it comes out. Any idiot knows how something that has been stuffed down your stomach winds up, it turns to shit. And shit is shit no matter how you wrap it. Anyway, Aunt Martha, could you read this letter?"

"I would be happy to, BM," Aunt Martha replied showing total compliance to BM's request.

To: The Hubbard City Cafe

From: President Barrack Hussien Obama
(Duly Elected President of the United States and Don't Forget It)

Subject: Critical Questions from My Big White House to Your Little Bitty Cafe

1. How dare you not always call me by the last complete name (Barack Hussein Obama) that my handlers have selected for me when I decided to run for political office instead of Barry and all that other stuff?

2.How dare you ask to see validation that I am who I say I am ( my colleges, birth certificates, legislation sponsored, job descriptions, college transcripts and writings, etc.) How dare you ask why and how my wife and I lost our licenses to practice law?

3. How dare people criticize me for not supporting my own family members living in poverty when I have no idea who my own family members are? And I do not care. I am President.

4. How dare you ask me to honor my oath to protect the US Constitution which needs reforming? And besides I am a World leader and way bigger than this little racist country and any dumb document written by a bunch of old dead white guys who wore wigs and hose.

5. How dare you question the history of my Muslim faith? Whether I am attending a Christian church with my family now? Why I went to Rev. Wright's Social Justice Black Supremist church for 20 years? Or why I always side with anyone against the Jews in Israel?

6. How dare you ask me to have real press conferences? How dare you ask me to speak before any audiences who are not handpicked? How dare you try to require that my statements that my staff puts on Mr. Teleprompter are true? How dare you watch Fox News try to counter balance my adoring main stream media networks? I hate those people and plan to destroy them when I can get around to it.

7. How dare you question my appointing Communists and Socialists to high positions in my administration? How dare you to criticize me for taking control of the auto, financial, and health care industries, and soon to be energy industry and immigration of illegals all the while smearing me with labels like Socialist? How dare you complain about me passing a stimulus bill to pay back my voters and financial supporters? Remember the election? I won, you lost, eat crap!

8. In fact and to sum it up, since I am President how dare you little people believe that I should be restricted in anyway by the rules of law, Congress, public opinion, your Christian God, or your stupid little bitty blog?

Your President and Master,

B. H. Obama

Well, the folks left after their second cups commited to dare more than ever. Guess Obama just doesn't understand the little people.

Think about it,


P. S. Eddie Ray Rabbit has left Hubbard to move to Florida to pick lemons for a living. Seems like a good idea since he's been divorced three times, owned 2 Toyota trucks, and voted for Obama.

Monday, March 22, 2010

What Got In Your Eye This Weekend?

"Never have I seen anyone who pee-ed in someone's eye and told them it was raining more then on this Health Care thing," sighed Billy Roy Michum (fairly famous C&W performer who had recently returned from a semi-extended tour of a good part of East Central Texas staying pretty much south of Corsicana) as he held court at the Cafe. This was the post weekend review of the big Nancy Pelosi Cat Roundup. BM continued, "Might be good for us to separate the pee from the rain on this momentous occasion. I say momentous because I think this will wind up as a very inspiring event in our much needed cause to take back our liberty and basic rights from Washington, D.C."

The following was a solo by BM splashing facts and opinions mostly right and not much left:

The rain in our eye was flowing strongest when Nancy P declared Health Care a Right after the unconstitutional vote. The fact that she was peeing is clear when you consider our Founders said that our Rights came from our Creator and not Nancy P nor Barry Obama nor anyone else in government. In fact the government restricts individual Rights, they don't grant them. In fact they are supposed to protect our Rights based on the rule of law and the U.S. Constitution.

The rain came down real hard when this Bart Stupak guy from Ohio said that Barry had written an Executive Order declaring the government would not fund abortions. Hell, he probably wrote it on the back of one of his cigarette packs. Anyway, the pee was pretty obvious as Stupak and fellow bullshitters then voted into law the Senate Bill which specifically states that folks can buy insurance that covers abortions and that the government will subsidize the purchase of this insurance. I read this Reconciliation Bill and it doesn't extract the abortion funding provision at all. Stupak then had the gaul to pronounce the Democrats the party that protected Human Life. Go figure.

Obama laughed off criticism as he rained reassurances on us who questioned the growth of government and DC's take over of Health Care. When you read the passed bill it is all urine. Over 150 new bureaucracies, 3,400 new government mandates, 1,700 new IRS agents to enforce the mandates on people and companies who will share tax records with Health and Human Services, new taxes driving marginal tax rates to Jimmy Carter levels of 44% (60% in states like California), and to top it all off, Obama added a provision for the government to take over all student loans which has nothing to do with Health Care.

In fact all of this has very little to do with Health Care. Obama claims to be a rain maker that is historically insuring all Americans while reducing costs for all and reducing the deficit. The urinating truth is most of the specifics in this bill will never go into effect. Does anyone believe we will tax Labor Union Cadillac Health Plans scheduled to start in the year 2018? What will happen and soon is the government's use of this law to take control of Health Care and create another entitlement to get people more dependent on the NANNY STATE. Our idiot VP slipped and said last week, 'this bill will let us control insurance companies.' Obama and crew's real goal is to transform the US to Socialism by promising to buy votes Chicago style.

Once again the freedom of the American people is at risk, and the will of the American people is being challanged. May God not give up on, and bless, the USA.

Nobody else really had anything to add.

Think about it,