Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Billy Roy Thinks Downtown Scotty Brown "Gets It"

When something as big as yesterday's special election happens I can't wait to get an explanation from Billy Roy Michem, local country and western performer/philosopher/all around good guy. BM is a real man of few words.

My big question, "BM, why did those yankees vote for Scotty Brown?"

BM: "Seems like this Brown guy has a simple message: 'Government is way too big and the current boys and girls in D.C. are making it bigger. This means we need tax and spending cuts and to throw out every politician that wants to keep government big. Secondly, Brown says he is for a strong military and homeland defense who will protect us at home and around the world. Lastly on today's health care mess, Brown is OK with finding a way to provide health care to folks, but he knows the worst way to try to do that would be to let the government take it over.' Pretty simple stuff."

My follow up question, "BM, isn't there more to it than that?"

BM: "NOPE."

Got it,

Jim

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Changes to Idiot's List and New Heroes List

The current top ten ranking of the "Idiot's List" :

1. Barry (had a great week with huge "mispeakings" including the attack on his own GMC trucks)
2. "Martha or Marsha or What Ever" Coakley (Mass. Senate Cand. easily replaced Janet Napolitano who has been put in "time out"
3. Robert Gibbs (continues to stack up idiot points big time)
4. Nancy Peolosi (an immovable object from the land of fruits and nuts)
5. Harry Reid (solidified his position behind his light skinned leader)
6. Bill Clinton (replaced Maxine Waters by saying Haiti was strategic to the US because of it's #1 AIDS ranking)
7. Barney Frank (laying low but we remember him)
8. Henry Waxman (looks more like a weasel than weasels)
9. Al Franken (how do we get him more involved?)
10. Tie: Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins, Ben Nelson, Joe Lieberman, and George Bush (Joins the group by enlisting in the Barry and Bill Haiti efforts even as they continue to blame him for everything. He could have just supported the Red Cross instead.)

Continues to be Disqualified: Joe Biden (considered as an "Off the Chart" idiot and unrankable)

The Brand New and Somewhat Different Cafe Heroes Almost Top Ten List

1. Scott Brown, Mass. Senator Candidate (leaps to the top of the list win or lose)
2. Glen Beck (hitting the ball out of the park but may be on steroids)
3. Rush Limbaugh (consistency over, over, and over again)
4. Newt Gingrich (really smart and gets it right most of the time)
5. Martha Coakley (thank you Marsha)
6. Barrack (conservatives couldn't do it without him)
7. Dr. Martin Luther King (a true conservative, really, "content of character" true believer, etc.)
8. Ronald Reagan Placeholder (places 8-10 and waiting for applicants)
9.
10.

Inputs and comments welcome,

Jim

Monday, January 18, 2010

One of Mom's Favorite Jokes

Mom loves a good joke. She loves even more to share them at the Hubbard City Cafe. This is her latest:

One winter morning a husband and wife in Buffalo were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park....." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Life is good,

Jim