Thursday, September 16, 2010

Really, You Couldn't Make This Up, Again

Boredom set in on the Cafe folks this week so they played 'Even J.D. Couldn't Make This Up'. To jog your memory J.D. Phelps once ran the Humble Gas Station on the Corsicana Highway where he could rev up any story as he was never reined in by what some might consider to be the truth. The game is played by several of the folks providing a mostly true story, usually about current events, followed by a vote of clanking spoons on coffee cups to designate the winner.

Scottie Anderson, local insurance tycoon and a semi-world class story teller himself kicked events off loaded with statistics, "In the last year we have arrested 43 American born and reared Muslims for terrorists crimes. We have had 11 different attacks by Islamic terrorists, all home grown, here in our country with the Fort Hood shooting by Major Hussan being the worst. At this time our Homeland Security bureaucrats have no strategy for home grown militant Jihadist Muslims. Instead of pushing them for solutions the guy in the White House is more worried about 'Islamaphobia' for people he says cling to their Bibles and guns. Nope, even J.D. could not make this up.  I come from a family of experts at making things up, and J.D. was one of the best."

"You know Obama will not speak on the wisdom of building the Ground Zero Mosque which reminds me of the old saying,  'Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad'.  Obama's fruit salad is another man's fertilizer." Scottie finished third in the cup clanking.

Aunt Martha, being a writer of some local renown, is great at transitions, "Speaking of the Homeland Security jokers did you see what they did in Pennsylvania. Seems a gentleman named Gene Stilp loves to inflate his giant rubber pink pig and demonstrate against excessive government spending. It was revealed this week that he was high on the Home Land Security watch list of suspected terrorists. I am not making this up." Martha did not place in the voting since the folks don't care so much about defending pink inflatable rubber pigs-- I guess.

The last one to speak was Mom who worries too much about her grandchildren not to mention her great grandchildren,"Well the President spoke on TV this week and the teachers in Austin made the kids watch. Riley Ann (third grader) told her Mom, Cathey, that all he talked about was what a bad student he was in school. When asked what message she got from that, Riley answered 'I guess you can be a bad student and still get elected President of the United States'. Cathey then asked Jamie Sue (7th grader) her impression, Jamie said,'All he said was what a bad student he was in school.' When asked her reaction, Jamie said, 'That shouldn't surprise anyone that evidently he was bad then too!'."

"Mom says she asked a liberal friend from the drug store why they thought everything was Bush's fault, Mom liking Laura like she does. The lady friend said, 'I didn't say it was Bush's fault, I said we were blaming him'. Mom finished a close second place in the voting.

Billy Roy Mitchum decided years ago not to go national with his country and western singing career which pleases folks in Central Texas that they can keep him close to home. One reason for staying local was that he was afraid they might include California in his tours so he brings up California a lot, "Did you guys see what they call Prop 19. The land of fruits and nuts want to add pot to that label by making marijuana legal. They say they need the money. Only on the Left Coast would they tell their young teen agers that it is OK to get and stay stoned once they are of age. During what they call the development years teens are trying to decide whether they want to be a scientist, an NFL millionaire football player, or a drug addict. Pot arrests the teens development causing them to drop sports, flunk classes, and just chill out. Anything that encourages our young folks to take drugs is worse than criminal no matter how much tax revenue it raises for the Liberal Elite." As usual BM finished first in the voting.

Well, several folks wanted to talk about things like the START Treaty and the US financing drilling Mexican oil in the Gulf but time just ran out so stay tuned.