Monday, April 5, 2010

Cafe Fears Government Takeover of Country Music

The story going around the Cafe is that the Obama administration is helping in many ways not imagined until now. Joe Borger Hurd, local farmer and grain kingpin second only to maybe Billie Sol Estes, reports that a cousin rancher from Colorado says they are scratching their heads in that state. Joe B. says, "For any Yankees in the blogosphere who don't know cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the 'guards', probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails."

"A few months ago, President Obama received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado. Because Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, he decided to punish them by ordering the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the guards immediately."

"Before the Interior Secretary could respond and presumably straighten him out, Vice-President, Crazy Joe Biden, intervened with a request that before any guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining. Now we understand Pelosi and Reid are ripped because they think the whole guard thing is the perfect type of program that should be rammed through by the Legislature to insure that all illegals are exempt from any loss of employment."

Meanwhile, Billy Roy Mitchum is fearful that Country and Western music is getting so popular that he fears a government takeover. Some months ago this fear led him to start following the Chryler takeover to see what he could learn, just in case. He gave a more than full report on his findings this week, "Unbelievable! This could be a scandal that makes Nixon's Watergate or Clinton 's Monica Lewinsky affair look like Little League Games. Roll the clock back to the weeks just before Chrysler declared bankruptcy. Chrysler, like GM, was in really bad financial trouble and our federal government 'graciously' offered to 'buy the company' and keep them out of bankruptcy and 'save jobs'. Chrysler was, in the words of Obama and his crowd, 'Too big to fail', same story with GM, remember."

"Well the feds organized their 'Automotive Task Force' to fix Chrysler and GM. Obama, in an act that is 110% unconstitutional, appointed a guy named Steve Rattner to be the White House's official Car Czar — literally. Initially, the national media reported that Chrysler had made a list of dealerships to be closed as a big cost cutting measure. That turned out not to be true. The Washington Examiner, Newsmax, Fox New and a host of other somewhat honest news agencies discovered that the list of dealerships was put together by the 'Automotive Task Force' headed by no one other than Mr. Steve Rattner. Now the plot thickens. Actually there's a very interesting pattern as to who was closed down. Of the 789 dealerships closed by the federal government, 788 had donated money exclusively to Republican political causes, while contributing nothing to Democratic political causes. The only 'Democratic' dealership on the list was found to have donated to Hillary and John Edwards' campaigns. Steve Rattner is the guy who put the list together."

By now Butch Jackson head had slammed the table as he dosed off and splashed coffee profusely on everyone at his table.

BM continued, "Well it gets sleazier because Rattner happens to be married to a Maureen White. Maureen happens to be the former national finance chairman of the Democratic National Committee. As such, she has access to campaign donation records from everyone in the nation, Republican or Democrat. Well, Obama's Car Czar, Steve Rattner, resigned on July 13."

"By the way, Rattner is under investigation for a multi-million dollar pay-to-play investment bank scandal in New York. Uh-oh! Obama has 32 personally appointed 'czars' who answer to no one but him, all of whom are acting without any Constitutional authority. This Obama team of hit men is bigger than anything Al Capone ever had."

Butch had regained consciousness by now, "So what, BM?"

"So what?" bellowed BM. "Barry could appoint a Country and Western Czar at any moment. That Czar could get the people at the Drug Store to pick and choose which bars should be closed right here in Hill County, Texas. Hell, we might wind up with nothing but Hip Hop or something like that."

Think about it,


Maxine Calls for Taxpayer Takeover

Mom, with the help of her loyal son, completed her Federal Tax Return this weekend, and for the first time in her adult life, put a big Zero on the bottom line. Yep, Mom owes no taxes this year what with low interest rates on savings and such. Interestingly she wasn't all that happy about joining the ranks of those who don't pay taxes. "I think it is time for taxpayers to take a play out of the Liberals playbook and propose COMPREHENSIVE VOTER REFORM," launched Mom's rare opening statement on the floor of the Hubbard City Cafe.

"Here is my idea", she proceeded in rare form. "The Liberals have their Comprehensive Health Care Law which basically puts the Federal Government in charge of determining who gets what medical care, at what price, and who pays for it. Basically it is just another takeover program to transfer hard earned assets from taxpayers to non-taxpayers. They call it redistribution as if we don't know what they are doing."

"Now they want to pass Comprehensive Energy Reform to boost Algore and his pals clean energy investments while passing a massive tax increase on everyone else. Then, of course, they will follow with Comprehensive Immigration Reform to try to put 15-30 million illegals on the entitlement roles to buy votes to make up for all the votes Obama is losing now that the silly voters understand his Socialist takeover plans. In fact "Comprehensive Reform" appears to be a code term for TAKEOVER."

"Enough of my negativity. Let me make a positive suggestion. Why don't we pass COMPREHENSIVE VOTER REFORM? It would be simple and could be described on one page. Basically a voter gets one vote for every one dollar paid in taxes. You pay $10,000 and you get 10,000 votes. You pay no taxes, you get no votes. Why should you get a vote on how our government should spend our money if you don't contribute to the process. In fact, as I understand it, we are very close to having more freeloaders paying no taxes than taxpayers."

Butch was the first to respond, "Gosh, sounds awfully business like. People with no stock in Microsoft don't get the same voting power as Bill Gates, do they? Imagine what kind of company Berkshire Hathaway would be if Warren Buffett just got one vote. Those companies would probably be run by bureaucrats, losing tons of money, producing lousy products, and running huge deficits. In fact if they could print their own money they would be just like the Federal Government now that I think of it. But, Maxine, wouldn't this be a TAKEOVER?"

"Damned right it would. It would be a TAXPAYER TAKEOVER, you got problems with that, Butch," Mom came back uncharacteristically.

"No Mam," muttered Butch.

Billy Roy Michum usually reflects back to our founders on topics like these. "When you think really deep about it, it gets to the 'Taxation and Representation' thing that the first Tea Party was all about. Almost half of the people in the country are represented and not taxed today. The other half pay all the taxes and are 'under-represented'. What the Hell is that all about?"

Well, needless to say Maxine got her name written on the corner of the menu board in big blue letters for a "blue ribbon idea of some significant size".

Meanwhile Scott Riddle's family celebrated Easter with their newest edition, one year old Cooper. Cooper had his picture taken as the 5th generation representative with his Great Grandmother Pat, and then to top it off, he also had 5th generation attendees on the side of his Great Granddad Scott. He had his 93 year old Great Great Aunt and his 95 year old Great Great Grandmother at the event. With 40% of today's kids born out of wedlock, Cooper has a huge head start in this world with generations of family support.

Think about it,


P. S. I asked Great Great Grandmom Neuman if she was going to nap after lunch, and she said, "Nope, I don't nap. I'm too busy." My reply, "You go girl."