Thursday, December 17, 2009

Those Pesky Little Obama Rules of Engagement

After going 3-7 last year the folks at the Hubbard City Café barged in on a meeting at the Hubbard City Drug Store (remember, that's where the Libs have coffee). The new football coach (8th coach in the last 5 years), Obama Bin Here, was presenting his plan for next year to the applause of the drug store Liberals. The report follows:

"First we will put 11 of the very best players in the district on the field as soon as we can after the game starts, however, I will start withdrawing (taking them out) after the second quarter.

My goal is to re-establish Hubbard’s reputation for sportsmanship in the football world, and to do so, I will commit to the following rules of engagement:

1. I will run no plays that surprise my opponent.
2. Each defensive player will be warned before we direct our play at that player’s position.
3. Referees will accompany Hubbard ball carriers on all rushing plays.
4. No Hubbard player will hit an opponent unless they are hit first (except for rule #7).
5. No Hubbard player can engage an opponent if that opponent's fans or family are watching.
6. No gay opponent may be tackled nor searched for the football by heterosexual tacklers (see rule #7).
7. No opposing ball carrier may be engaged unless they have the ball within the Hubbard 20 yard line and are on a direct path to the Hubbard goal line (see rules #4 and #6."

While Sweet Lou Teakell was happy to hear we were putting the district's best players on the field, the rest of the game plan just didn’t feel right. After tossing and turning as he tried to sleep that night, he finally gave up and read his emails starting with this one:


Published on 12/16/09
By Paul E. Vallely
MG, US Army (Ret)
Gold Coast Chronicle

President Obama is sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan that he will start pulling out in 18 months. These U.S. troops will battle both Taliban and their own rules. The Times compiled an informal list of the new rules from interviews with U.S. forces. Among them:

1. No night or surprise searches.
2. Villagers have to be warned prior to searches.
3. ANA or ANP must accompany U.S. units on searches.
4. U.S. soldiers may not fire at the enemy unless the enemy is preparing to fire first.
5. U.S. forces cannot engage the enemy if civilians are present.
6. Only women can search women.
7. Troops can fire at an insurgent if they catch him placing an IED but not if insurgents are walking away from an area where explosives have been laid

Even in Hubbard, Texas football is still a game. War never was and never will be. Either commit and play to win or get our guys the hell out of there.

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

AlGore Receives Cafe's Award

Butch Jackson opened Monday's coffee discussion by asking Aunt Martha to read the week end's news bulletins. She seemed to focus somewhat on financial stuff:

"The Senate passed the $450 billion minibus spending bill Sunday, approving 12% spending increases for many domestic programs when the deficit is already $1.4 trillion and growing.

Heritage Foundation fellow Brian Riedl reports the situation is only going to get worse under President Barack Obama’s budget:
Federal spending (which has remained around 20 percent of economy since the 1950s) would surpass 28 percent of economy by 2019. Federal spending per household would rise from $25,000 per household in 2008 to more than $37,000 per household by 2019.

"Damn," said Butch.

Billy Roy Mitchum voiced some discomfort with these current events, "I feel like I am stuck in the back seat of an old Cadillac Convertable with Hank Williams, Sr. at the wheel on a bad road in Louisana. Hank's drunk as a skunk while I'm bone dry. I pretty much know what's going to happen, and I want out of that car. But there's no way out. The worst thing about being trapped like this with Obama driving is you've lost your freedom. It's not like you are in chains, but that you are an economic slave to the federal government, and they are 'spreading my hard earned meager wealth around'."

You probably won't catch a lot of Cafe folks climbing in back seats this week.

Since Sweet Lou Tekell thinks AlGore is the World's Dumbest Man, he loves following anything to do with AlGore and has a straight line into the Climate Change Conference. Here is Lou, "Meanwhile in Copenhagen they are arguing about how much money India, China, and other 'developing' nations will need from us to buy any green colored products made by companies owned by people like AlGore. China says $110 billion (with a b) is not enough. Here is a direct quote from one of the attendees at the Copenhagen conference. 'Mobilizing of billions of dollars in climate aid from industrialized nations (that be us) to pay for clean energy in developing countries would be positive for business, Iberdrola Chief Executive Officer Jose Ignacio Sanchez Galan said in an interview. Spain-based Iberdrola is the world’s biggest wind-energy generator'. Wonder whose business that guy is talking about? Don't think it is my business, and why the hell does he have so many names?"

"Damn," said Butch.

Since the Monday Cafe meeting AlGore has reinforced Lou's view of his lack of intelligence, "Hell, AlGore generates more wind energy than any Spanish company. Why just this week he said that there was a 75% chance of the Arctic Ice Caps melting within 5-7 years. Just so happens 7 years is near the average life of one of AlGore's venture funds enabling him to cash out on his 'green' (as in money) investments. After the 7 year forecast goes bust, Al's response will be just like Butch's. He will just say 'damn, missed that one'."

It is reported that Borger Lee Heard adjourned Monday's coffee session, "well, seems to me we would all be better off if this AlGore guy was locked in the trunk of old Hank's Cadillac travelling at a very high rate of speed on a really bad and lonely stretch of road". As we read this blog Billy Roy is putting this saga to song.

Think about it,