Saturday, December 12, 2009


Letter to the Hubbard City Cafe

From: Jim Hammock (Maxine's boy in Austin)


The US has 5% of the world's population and 66% of the world's lawyers! The City of Hubbard, as you know, has no lawyers in residence and is doing just fine. The story goes that a neighboring city thought they had grown to the point of needing an attorney. Two years after the lawyer arrived and started practicing the new attorney was starving. Wise outside counsel recommended adding a second lawyer. Within 12 months both attorneys had more business than they can handle.

Back when I was in school the best and brightest students took one of three paths. Those who loved academics and were good students either became doctors or lawyers. These two groups competed vigorously in school and in their professions. The lawyers have clearly kicked the doctors butts in this competition to the point that the attorneys are about to take over the Health Care Industry (1/6 of the US economy) with the passage of Obamacare.

The third group of the best and brightest that did not like academics became business people. This group joined the doctor group in actually producing goods and services that have made the United States the envy of the world.

On the other hand the attorney's role, should be to defend the Constitution insuring individual freedoms and liberty for all, has metastasized like a horrible cancer. Today, we are drowning in laws; we are controlled by judicial decisions; we are driven to distraction by lawyers in all parts of our once private lives. Our products and services are not competitive in a world market because of the excessive legal costs and regulations. America has a place for laws and lawyers, but that place is modest and reasonable, not vast and unchecked.

97% of the political contributions from the American Trial Lawyers Association goes to the Democrat Party. The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers' Party.

Barack Obama is a lawyer. As are Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, John Edwards ,Elizabeth Edwards, and every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although surprise, surprise AlGore did not graduate). Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school. Look at the so called leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress: Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are lawyers.

The Republican Party is different. President Bush is a businessman. Vice President Cheney is a businessman. The leaders of the Republican Revolution: Newt Gingrich was a history professor. Tom Delay was an exterminator. Dick Armey was an economist. House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer. The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon. Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer? Gerald Ford, who left office 31 years ago and who barely won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976.

The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers.

Democrats mock and scorn men who create wealth, like Bush and Cheney, or who heal the sick, like Frist, or who immerse themselves in history, like Gingrich. The Lawyers' Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services that people want, as the enemies of America . And, so we have seen the procession of official enemies, in the eyes of the Lawyers' Party, grow. Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail? Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers, and anyone producing anything of value in our nation.

Bottom line, the Democratic Party Lawyer's scam is to convince the American People that they will protect them against the Producers. They follow in the footsteps of Marx, Lenin, Mao, and Castro. They step in the new tracks of Obama and Chavez.

Think about it,


P.S. Mom is recovering well from her back surgery. Tell Aunt Martha and the guys that she sends her love.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Cafe Issues Their Own Employment Report

Unemployment at something between 10-18%, Obamacare Applied to Afghanistan, Nobel Peace Breaks Out in Norway, Gore's still Changing the Climate, Heisman Trophy Uncertainties, BCS Bowl Selection Controversies, and some guy named Suh annihilates the entire UT Offensive Line.

WOW. Obviously the discussions are getting way heavy and the stress is piling up at the Cafe. It sometimes results in me getting a "venting" email like the one below from Butch Jackson, Hubbard City Cafe's resident analyst, statistician, and general observer of life:


I am in trouble...

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 20 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, writing blogs..


Real nice.

Generally overworked but hanging on in Hubbard City,


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Taliban Warning to the Cafe

To: The Hubbard City Cafe

From: Dr. J. Decherd (A Friend of Maxine's Boy, Jim, in Austin, Texas)

Subject: Its gonna get ugly

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration Mohammed Omar warned the United States that if Military actions against Iraq and Afghanistan continue, Taliban authorities intend to cut off America's supply of Convenience Store Managers and possibly Motel 6 & Super 8 Managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by DELL and AOL Customer Service Reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened to send us no more candidates for President of the United States !

Folks, it's gonna get ugly!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Tiger Woods: Don't Come to the Cafe for Sympathy

Tiger Woods was cut no slack at the Hubbard City Cafe. Even though it has not been mentioned here, golf is a major topic on a semi-regular basis to the point that Billy Roy Mitchum, a non-golfer, feels like the cafe is over saturated with what he calls that "golfsh t".

Butch Jackson, local historian, statistician, and all around 'know it all', repeated a story about Arnold Palmer's lunch with Tiger Woods when Tiger was 21 years of age. It seems Tiger was complaining about the interviews, autograph seekers, news reporters, and in general the lack of privacy that kept him from living an 'ordinary life'. Arnie listened patiently before responding, "Tiger, if you want to live the life of an ordinary 21 year old, why don't you give your $50million (that's with an M) back and go play golf with your pals like most ordinary people."

Butch continued, "Well, poor Tiger is now worth almost $1Billion (that's with a B) and is still complaining about his lack of privacy. He wants people to leave him and his family alone, and talks about his private life. If it wasn't for the $1B, no one except his wife would care what he does, and that probably includes that waitress in LA. "

Sweet Lou Teakell asked an interesting question, "Has Tiger ever acknowledged that most of that $1B came from his share of selling shoes, shirts, caps, and cars. All of which he neither produced nor distributed. All he did was put what is now a fairly tainted name on these items. I guess he thinks this is 'fair, huh?"

Billy Roy closed out the discussion, "I don't know about golf, but from what I have heard I bet his military Dad would kick his skinny butt if he was alive today. Like a good number of the young people today Tiger needs to grow up. I personally wish everyone had to serve a couple of years in the military on a mandatory basis, even a Tiger Woods."

There wasn't much more to say on this topic. The Cafe has spoken.

Think about it,