Thursday, October 21, 2010

Surprising Praise for House Leader Pelosi from the Cafe???????

Butch Jackson came into the cafe this week with all barrels blazing and in a T-shirt that said 'Party Till You Puke', "Did anyone see that witch, Pelosi, this weekend?  She said that the Dems would retain the House, that the polls were split evenly on approval of ObamaCare, and then spewed that socialist s__t that the biggest problem in the nation is that we are not taking  from the rich and giving to the middle class fast enough. We are doing OK on salaries, but we need to give them more 'ownership and equity'.  She said it is all about fairness.  I don;t know how she can be so caring and sweet with that skin pulled so tight on her face."

"I guess that means we need more things like ObamaMotors.  They took GM and Chrysler away from shareholders and gave it to the UAW while keeping most of it for the Federal Government as they claimed to be saving the US auto industry.  Pelosi says stuff like that, and she is so rich she couldn't go broke if she tried.  Darned if she don't fly around on a big old jet with a bar bill that costs more than 4 to 5 middle class folks can make working hard."

Butch proceeded uninterrupted and without caution as is his usual style, "My gosh, this gave me a nightmare.  Right there in the middle of the night  I dreamed I was working for Pelosi and watching her 'communications chief', who was a 7th year sophomore from California Berzekely University of an undeterminal sexual persuasion. Seems this spinner followed up his/her bosses remarks by sending a survey to their foremost political enemy, that being the Hubbard City Cafe of course. The dream was like really real, and the survey and polling looked like this:

As a result of Speaker Pelosi's interviews this weekend would you say Ms. Pelosi is:
1. Stupid                                   0
2. A Liar                                    0
3. All the Above                        10

"After getting the results the communications expert went to the 'antonym' dictionary (for those of you from Mr. Calm she was looking for opposites or upside down words) and found the following:

Antonyms for Stupid:         Astute, smart, clever

Antonyms for Liar:            Square shooter, straight shooter, straight arrow

"OK, having done her research this communication's specialist put out a press release about this survey:"

Surprising Praise for House Leader Pelosi

In her pursuit to stay in touch with all of her constituents, the historic first woman to be House Majority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, polled the radical conservative extremists at the Hubbard City Cafe. Results were surprising.  First the poll was unanimous in that all respondents gave the same feedback. Secondly, when given the opportunity to describe her leadership traits in very negative terms, no one in this extreme group selected descriptions that would conflict with the pollster's views of her being  a smart and clever straight shooter.

Objective political analysts across the nation interpreted this as admiration from her political foes for Speaker Pelosi's historic achievements while serving as the first woman House Majority Leader and the 2nd in line, behind the VP, to the most significant political position in the world. Ms. Pelosi when presented with the polling results said 'she would continue to serve all of the American people and only wished  Hubbard City had a landing strip large enough for here to visit and thank the folks for their support..  Speaker Pelosi also voiced,' her sincere hope that this support from the Cafe would lead to a healing of all political wounds and a return to civility and bi-partisanship in Washington as she and President Obama prayed for on a regular basis'.

Billy Roy being the only one left listening about Butch's dream since he was on one of those fancy speaker phones recovering from back surgery from climbing up on too many stages to sing those sad Merl Haggard songs broke in, "Butch, I'm still here cause I don't have anyplace to go. Can we do a wrap here?"

"Sure, BM. My wrap was I waked up hearing myself screaming and then turned right there into a spittin mad man. That Pelosi drives me crazy.  Anybody that would believe her and vote Democrat has their head so firmly planted up their rear ends that it is unlikely that they would ever have another point of view.  BM......BM, are you still there? Well I guess I'll pick up the check today since everyone seemed to leave kinda early."

Seems like the lonely people like Butch and Nancy P. are having to stick together these days, even if it is in their dreams. And Nancy P. is not even going to have Butch on November 2.


Monday, October 18, 2010

Where's The Love?

In six man football they have a "hog law rule" which says when one team gets ahead by 45 points the game is called. In eleven man football no civility exists as evidenced by Bremond's gluttonous tromping of the Hubbard Jaguars by 56-0 on Friday night of this very week. This writer asks, "Where is the love?"

With Bremond this uncalled for hostility evidently goes all the way back to 1957 when this writer was a 150 lb. sophomore quarterback for the Central Texas number 1 ranked Hubbard Jaguars. Bremond's Tigers were ranked number 2, and since both teams had open dates on the same Friday night, school officials wisely decided (must have been Democrats) on a Wednesday to schedule a game in Bremond (of all places). It just so happens that three of us had taken off to attend the Future Farmers of America convention in Kansas City, Kansas on this "open" week. We arrived riding in the back of a pickup truck in Hubbard on Friday afternoon just in time to catch the bus to Bremond (a trip of about 50 miles no less).

In the first quarter this sophomore QB got lucky on a quarterback option and went 60 yards for the first score of the game. My celebration ended abruptly when as I arrived back on the field as a defensive safety to see and hear the entire Bremond team (made up of 11 gigantic Bohemians), pointing at me and in unison yelling, "Kill number 13". Again I ask, "Where's the love?" Needless to say the next time we ran a quarterback option I chose to pitch the ball back to our real running back and went back to my cerebral quarterback duties. All of this on the way to a 14-19 loss of our number 1 ranking. This series of events turned me away from a professional football career as well as ending any desire I had to become a future farmer. I committed, and semi-dedicated, my life after this to "finding the love"!

So where is the love? Let's take a process of elimination approach by looking at places where folks are receiving NO love:

The View (ask Bill O'Reilly if you don't believe me)

Small Business Owners who make more than $200k

Target Stores who donate money to business friendly politicians

Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico citizens who want the US Government to either enforce immigration and drug smuggling laws or get out of the way

Insurance Companies who stand in the way of government run Obamacare

Auto Company investors and dealers who got in the way of Obamamotors

Doctors who went into their profession to help people and make money

Tax payers who aren't sharing enough with non-taxpayers

People who work who aren't sharing enough with people who don't work

People who think jobs are created by private sector employers

Young mothers who give birth to children without husbands

Polluters who drive cars, manufacture goods, till soil, and breathe

School boards who want to compensate good teachers and fire bad ones

People who want to thank God and ask for His help in Public

People who think it is wrong to destroy a baby in a mother's womb while not caring as much if you destroy an Eagle's egg (against the law)

Military leaders who think they should decide who they need in the military to win wars and how to wage those wars

People who think marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman of all things

People who think politicians should be elected for no more than two terms and impeached if they perjure themselves to to their voters

People who think the USA was founded on Judeo/Christian first principles

People who think our founders meant it when they said "All men and women are created equal and are endowed by God with certain unalienable (unchangeable) rights among these Life, Liberty (balance between freedom and responsibility), and the pursuit (an effort to attain) Happiness (good fortune and contentment)"

This list just seems way too long. Some of these folks should be getting some love. Guess we don't have much love left except for losing six man football teams.