Thursday, July 30, 2009

Washington Style Capitalism in Madisonville, Texas

I recently visited the town of Madisonville, Texas to explore an opportunity to open a Bush's Chicken franchise on Interstate I45. A local resident told me the following story.

It was a slow rainy day, and the little town looks totally deserted. Times are tough everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a traveling salesman from Dallas is driving through town. He enters the only hotel in the sleepy town and lays a hundred dollar bill on the desk stating he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

As soon as the man walks up the stairs, the hotel proprietor takes the hundred dollar bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to pay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer then takes the $100 and heads off to pay his debt to the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the lady at the local massage parlor who has also been facing hard times and has lately had to offer her "services" on credit. The masseuse runs to the hotel and pays off her debt with the $100 to the hotel proprietor paying for the rooms that she had rented when she brought clients to that establishment.

The hotel proprietor then lays the $100 bill back on the counter so the salesman will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveler from Dallas walks back down the stairs after inspecting the rooms. He picks up the $100 bill and states that the rooms are not satisfactory. Pockets the money and walks out the door and leaves town heading for Houston.

No one earned anything. However the whole town is now out of debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

That ladies and gentlemen is how the United States Government is conducting business today.

I decided it was a little to early for us to enter the Madisonville market.

Think about it,


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Aging and Health Tips from Hubbard

Mom says the talk in Washington about health care has the folks at the Cafe sharing health and aging experiences. She says once this conversation starts that it goes on and on.

Joe Frank Bell kicked the discussion off. Every morning Joe Frank has been walking by a new neighbor's house. He says an older and very wrinkled lady with a great smile was always sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What's your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all." Joe Frank thought he had found the secret of youth, "That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Thirty-four," she answered.

Speaking of age and looks, Borger Lee Heard says his wife told him, "you don't look anything like the long haired, skinny kid I married 35 years ago, so I want a DNA test to make sure it is still you."

Sometimes the kids have the best health advice. Gerald Pursley has been going to the beer joint in Malone to shoot pool every Saturday night for years. He usually wore his genuine Willie Nelson autographed Armadillo baseball cap. One night as he was leaving his young grandson said,"Papa I wouldn't wear that hat anymore." "Why?" Gerald asked.

"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

Billy Mack Waller told the group that he thought he had the perfect health plan. He called the one local Hubbard physician, and golfing buddy, Dr. Sammons and asked him for a favor. Sure enough, when BM's wife went in for a regular visit, Dr. Sammons told her that BM's tests were back from the lab and didn't look good. He informed her that Bill was suffering from a rare and serious stress disorder that required immediate action. In fact if he did not minimize his work schedule, get plenty of fresh air and exercise, eat home cooked meals three times a day, and have sex regularly that he wasn't long for this world.

When BM's wife returned home he asked about his tests results. " The doctor said you're going to die," was her quick response.

Scottie Andersen thinks his wife is going through menopause in which case Smokey Brown, who always talks about sex, told Scottie that menopause was mentioned in the Bible. Under severe questioning, Smokey said it is right there in Mathew 14:92, "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt".

I am not sure Obama wants to get involved in all this?

Think about it,