Billy Roy Mitcham says he walked into a new very high-tech bar while attending a Cowboy game in the new stadium last week. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot in a Cowboy uniform.
The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"
Billy Roy thought a moment then replied, "A Jack Daniels and coke."
The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best mixed drink BM had ever had.
The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"
BM answered "oh, about 164."
The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs', etc.......
Billy was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Margarita please."
Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ, sir?"
This time BM answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.
Bill had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool. Again a Rum and Coke, and the question, "What is your IQ?"??
This time in his best Hubbard drawl "Uh..... bout 50".
The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,
"A-r-e y-o-u p-e-o-p-l-e s-t-i-l-l h-a-p-p-y w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A” ?
The guys at the Cafe say their favorite pastimes are golf and sex because you don't have to be good at either one of them to have fun.
Think about it,
Jim
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A Good Old American Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!
I am honored to have been asked to speak at THE AMERICA SUPPORTS YOU FREEDOM WALK in Hubbard, Texas on September 11. This week I received this note from local resident and patriot, Donna Anderson.
Dear Jim,
I thought I would send this true story to you to get your juices flowing
for our September 11 Memorial Celebration. I think it will also warm your
heart. Here it is:
The Budweiser Story
How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September, 2001...
Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield , California.
A Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town
named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business to find the two Arabs, who owned the business, whooping and hollering to show their approval and support of this treacherous attack.
The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event! He didn't feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss asked him,
'Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item
our beverage company sells there? We'll never deliver to them again.'
The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face.
He told them never to bother to call for a delivery again. Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice for that community.
Just letting you know how Kern County handled this situation. And Now The Rest Of The Story: It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man are neighbors. Bud called Pepsi and told him. Pepsi called his boss who told him to pull all Pepsi products as well!!! That would include Frito Lay, etc. Furthermore, word spread and all vendors followed suit!
At last report, on June 26, 2009, Fareed Katib closed the store and filed bankruptcy! Good old American Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!
If you can read this.....Thank a teacher...
If you are reading it in English....THANK A SOLDIER!!!
Jim, see you on the 11th and God Bless America,
Donna Anderson
Contrast this story to the boycott our Liberal Elite friends are trying to organize against Whole Foods. These LibElites have an uncanny knack for always picking the wrong side.
Think about it and make your plans for Septmeber 11th,
Jim
Dear Jim,
I thought I would send this true story to you to get your juices flowing
for our September 11 Memorial Celebration. I think it will also warm your
heart. Here it is:
The Budweiser Story
How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September, 2001...
Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield , California.
A Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town
named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business to find the two Arabs, who owned the business, whooping and hollering to show their approval and support of this treacherous attack.
The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event! He didn't feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss asked him,
'Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item
our beverage company sells there? We'll never deliver to them again.'
The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face.
He told them never to bother to call for a delivery again. Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice for that community.
Just letting you know how Kern County handled this situation. And Now The Rest Of The Story: It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man are neighbors. Bud called Pepsi and told him. Pepsi called his boss who told him to pull all Pepsi products as well!!! That would include Frito Lay, etc. Furthermore, word spread and all vendors followed suit!
At last report, on June 26, 2009, Fareed Katib closed the store and filed bankruptcy! Good old American Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!
If you can read this.....Thank a teacher...
If you are reading it in English....THANK A SOLDIER!!!
Jim, see you on the 11th and God Bless America,
Donna Anderson
Contrast this story to the boycott our Liberal Elite friends are trying to organize against Whole Foods. These LibElites have an uncanny knack for always picking the wrong side.
Think about it and make your plans for Septmeber 11th,
Jim
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Cafe Declares War on Terrorists, Again
This past weekend I saw signs around Hubbard that said "Welcome Home Josh", along with yellow ribbons tied to telephone poles and trees all around town. Josh has returned from serving in the Middle East in a WAR against Islamic Terrorism. Hubbard residents are proud of their Josh and of their military.
That same weekend I was greeted with headlines of our Chief Law Enforcement Officer and Attorney General, Eric Holder, assigning a Special Prosecutor to investigate the CIA interrogation of captured terrorist. The same CIA that has already been investigated for the same interrogations of the same terrorist and found innocent by independent prosecutors.
The folks at the cafe asked local Central Texas Attorney and former point guard, J. P. Legal, to explain: "It seems that as we put our young people in danger in the Middle East that our Narcissistic Leader Obama and his administration (including trial lawyers) are playing politics by treating the enemy as we would American citizens who are suspected of violating American laws. A terrorists is not a criminal nor an American citizen and this should not be treated as a run-of-the-mill Law Enforcement problem with Miranda rights and all the other protections that go with citizenry."
Billy Roy Mitcham, a big George C. Scott fan, then pulled a piece of paper from his billfold and jumped into the conversation with a very unedited version, as you will see, of the following famous speech:
"America is at WAR with Islamic terrorism. America has always won wars when they are led by warriors, e.g. George Patton, who told his troops the following,
'When a man is lying in a shell hole, if he just stays there all day, a German will get to him eventually. The hell with that idea... My men don't dig foxholes. I don't want them to. Foxholes only slow up an offensive. Keep moving. And don't give the enemy time to dig one either.
We'll win this war, but we'll win it only by fighting and by showing the Germans that we've got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Huns by the bushel-f------g-basket. War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. Rip them up the belly. Shoot them in the guts... I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood.
The harder WE push, the more Germans we will kill. The more Germans we kill, the fewer of our men will be killed. Pushing means fewer casualties. I want you all to remember that'."
Billy Roy continued, "The CIA interrogators did not chop off the heads of captured terrorists, the way the terrorists did with our guys. They did not shove rubber balloons inside them and inflate them, as Hezbollah terrorists did to a CIA station chief in Beirut. They did not use Saddam Hussein's rape rooms, which he neglected to show off to Sean Penn or Dan Rather, when they paid their visits to him. All they really did was extract that extra "ounce of sweat" which saved gallons of blood around the world and poured a little water down their nasty noses."
Well, there you are. Billy Roy has spoken and my take away from the discussion at the Cafe is that we can coddle the terrorists, or we can push them. We coddled them for years until 9/11 happened. Now we have gone back to coddling them again. If we do coddle, the price we will pay will be measured in the blood of Americans. Those who focus on being humane to terrorists will be inhumane to free people all around the world.
Let's not send Josh and his comrades to the Middle East if this is not a WAR. Let Obama send Eric Holder and Hillary instead. Or better still, let Obama go over and read some teleprompter apologies to Osama's guys to show them how nice we really are, and maybe they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all and leave us alone.
Think about it and long live Dick Cheney.
Jim
That same weekend I was greeted with headlines of our Chief Law Enforcement Officer and Attorney General, Eric Holder, assigning a Special Prosecutor to investigate the CIA interrogation of captured terrorist. The same CIA that has already been investigated for the same interrogations of the same terrorist and found innocent by independent prosecutors.
The folks at the cafe asked local Central Texas Attorney and former point guard, J. P. Legal, to explain: "It seems that as we put our young people in danger in the Middle East that our Narcissistic Leader Obama and his administration (including trial lawyers) are playing politics by treating the enemy as we would American citizens who are suspected of violating American laws. A terrorists is not a criminal nor an American citizen and this should not be treated as a run-of-the-mill Law Enforcement problem with Miranda rights and all the other protections that go with citizenry."
Billy Roy Mitcham, a big George C. Scott fan, then pulled a piece of paper from his billfold and jumped into the conversation with a very unedited version, as you will see, of the following famous speech:
"America is at WAR with Islamic terrorism. America has always won wars when they are led by warriors, e.g. George Patton, who told his troops the following,
'When a man is lying in a shell hole, if he just stays there all day, a German will get to him eventually. The hell with that idea... My men don't dig foxholes. I don't want them to. Foxholes only slow up an offensive. Keep moving. And don't give the enemy time to dig one either.
We'll win this war, but we'll win it only by fighting and by showing the Germans that we've got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Huns by the bushel-f------g-basket. War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. Rip them up the belly. Shoot them in the guts... I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood.
The harder WE push, the more Germans we will kill. The more Germans we kill, the fewer of our men will be killed. Pushing means fewer casualties. I want you all to remember that'."
Billy Roy continued, "The CIA interrogators did not chop off the heads of captured terrorists, the way the terrorists did with our guys. They did not shove rubber balloons inside them and inflate them, as Hezbollah terrorists did to a CIA station chief in Beirut. They did not use Saddam Hussein's rape rooms, which he neglected to show off to Sean Penn or Dan Rather, when they paid their visits to him. All they really did was extract that extra "ounce of sweat" which saved gallons of blood around the world and poured a little water down their nasty noses."
Well, there you are. Billy Roy has spoken and my take away from the discussion at the Cafe is that we can coddle the terrorists, or we can push them. We coddled them for years until 9/11 happened. Now we have gone back to coddling them again. If we do coddle, the price we will pay will be measured in the blood of Americans. Those who focus on being humane to terrorists will be inhumane to free people all around the world.
Let's not send Josh and his comrades to the Middle East if this is not a WAR. Let Obama send Eric Holder and Hillary instead. Or better still, let Obama go over and read some teleprompter apologies to Osama's guys to show them how nice we really are, and maybe they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all and leave us alone.
Think about it and long live Dick Cheney.
Jim
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