Thursday, February 18, 2010

Cafe Semi-Inundated With Request to Join the Folks

Aunt Martha received a letter from an Austin Resident which she shared with the Folks at the Hubbard City Cafe.

Dear Hubbard City Cafe,

I was not born in Texas but I got here as soon as I could from the West Coast. I am a regular reader of your blog and the purpose of this letter is to request that you will make me sorta one of the folks at the Hubbard City Cafe. Here is my case for making this request:

In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan from Hubbard City and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is a little bit of Hubbard, Texas in everyone.

Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of illegal Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom.

We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and Davy Crockett, William B. Hubbard, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes. John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas Texas is Sam Houston kicking Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana's ass at San Jacinto.

Texas is having coffee every day but Sundays at the Hubbard City Cafe.

Texas is floating the rivers of the Hill Country or pulling a bass out of the Hubbard City Lakes on a hot summer day.

Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas.

Texas is that warm feeling you get when someone asks where you're from.

Texas is Mexican foods like nowhere else, not even Mexico.

Texas is Bush's fried chicken, Cheddar's chicken fried steak, and Tony or Jasper's Bar-B-Q.

Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton Cooley, Vince Young, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Don Meredith, Tommy Lee Jones, Waylon Jennings, Farrah Fawcet, Janis Joplin, Sandra Bullock, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Eva Longoria, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Colt McCoy, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, Howard Hughes, George H. W. Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, George W. Bush, and let's not forget GEORGE STRAIT- PANTERA, the Big Bopper, Tex Ritter, George Jones, Doak Walker, Bobby Lane, Wade Bowen, Billy Roy Michchum, to name ONLY a few.

Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments, EDS and Compaq, Southwest Airlines, Bell Helicopter and LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter, Valero. Texas is NASA and the Hubbard City Cafe.

Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football at the new Texas Stadium.

We can become a republic again at any time the voters of Texas choose, and we included these things as part of the deal when we came on. That's the best part, right there.


A Hubbard City Cafe Wannabe,

Gary Howard

Well, Aunt Martha then asked for a vote.

Butch turned to Billy Roy and asked, "What do you think?"

BM responded, "Nope, if we let him in, the others will want to come to. Our coffee pot is only so big. Damn good letter, though."

The vote against allowing semi-honorary membership based on this request was pretty much unanimous.

Think about it a lot,


Monday, February 15, 2010

Obama Says He Wasn't the First To Blame Bush

Same old news day after day: Obama is failing, and it's still George Bush's fault. Blame Bush and if that doesn't work, then say, "Well, George Bush did exactly the same thing that we are doing now." Interesting approach.

Meanwhile, as the folks were puzzling over how CO2 emissions from Scott Riddle's cattle were causing Global Warming which were resulting in record snow falls in Dallas and the Northeast (I know, who cares about the NE) while the same Global Warming is ruining the Winter Olympics in Vancouver because there is no snow (puzzling?), the following report came almost straight from the Obama White House. Aunt Martha read it to the folks:

Obama Releases Previously Semi-Unpublished Archives

Archives from Valley Forge
January 15, 1777

As 11,000 Continental troops suffered from freezing temperatures and hazardous winds while wintering at Valley Forge it is secretly recorded that General George Washington blamed global warming for the blizzard. The General feels global warming was caused by excessive CO2 emissions expelled from his troop's horses. It is the General's settled scientific belief that the excessive gas is caused by a stable boy's error in mixing horse feed. The blamed stable boy has been identified as Pfc George A. Bush. Private Bush was hanged on January 12, 1777.

Archives from Washington, D. C.
April 18, 1865

President Andrew Johnson, who switched to the Democratic party this week, wrote in his diary today that former President Abraham Lincoln's death was the result of his insurance company denying emergency coverage due to a pre-existing condition. When the emergency medical personnel arrived at Ford's Theatre, where President Lincoln was attending the play, "Our American Cousin", they ruled that the President had an existing gun shot wound received before their arrival. President Lincoln was denied medical care as a result by the blamed attending physician, Dr. George C. Bush. Dr. Bush was hanged April 17, 1865.

President Johnson also reported that the perpetrator was John Wilkes Booth, described as a right wing conservative ideologue who frequently attended Tea Party Events when not watching Fox News and socializing with the George D. Bush family whom he blamed for endoctrinating young Booth. The entire Bush family was hanged on April 17, 1865.

President Johnson then captured Booth personally and hung him by his private parts after forcefully removing his finger and toe nails. In doing so, President Johnson had temporarily suspended Booth's Miranda Rights as well as the US Constitution. President Johnson was quoted as saying, "Now that Lincoln's gone, we need to pass comprehensive health care, one of these days."

Archives from Washington D. C.
March 3, 1991

President George H. W. (Herbert Walker) Bush wrote in his diary today that he had ordered the Desert Storm troops to stop 150 miles from Baghdad today and not capture Saddam and his capital city after having driven the Iraqis out of Kuwait in just 100 hours of fighting. President Bush has admitted to confidants that he had blamed his decision based on a request made at the dinner table by his son, George W. Bush, who begged, "Dad, I want to do it myself when I am President." George H. W. Bush was hanged by the American Press in 1991, and did not serve a second term.

Archives from Washington D. C.
April 14, 2003

President George W. Bush recorded in his diary that he blamed his father, George Herbert Walker Bush, for the Second Gulf War. He said if General Colin Powell had captured Saddam and Baghdad in 1991 that the second war would not have been necessary. The Jr. Bush recalled that the decision to stop the Desert Storm troops came as the result of his Dad getting angry at George Jr. for misbehaving at the dinner table causing George Sr. to say,"O.K. smart ass, you clean up this mess when you are President." George W. Bush continues until this day to be hung by the American Press.

As Billy Roy says, "I don't know what the hell an archive is, but it must be true because it came from the White House. Now that I think about it, the gate on my fence ain't worked so good ever since W took office."

Thinking hard about it,