Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Cafe Gives Thanks

The Hubbard Folks love their Thanksgiving Holiday and take it quiet seriously. Below are just a few of the things they are thankful for this year:

Aunt Martha gave thanks to President Abraham Lincoln who established the Thanksgiving National Holiday in the midst of the Civil War and before the Secularist Lawyers ridiculously "separated church and state!":

"I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the imposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the divine purpose, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union."

Butch Johnston ironically gave thanks to the Chinese and Indian leaders for saving the world's economy by not agreeing to the UN and American President's Global Warming treaties that would bankrupt our economies and increase the suffering of people of all nations. Who would have ever thought in the year 2009 many in the US were praying the Chinese would save us from Socialism and bankrupcy.

Billy Roy gave thanks for our military for protecting us from evil Islamic terrorists all over the world and for those who would support the military's efforts against those who would retreat from the radical Muslim threat.

Scott Riddle gave thanks for friends and family who truly make life worthwhile when it is all said and done.

Sweet Lou Tekell gave thanks for Grandchildren because "there just ain't nothin like it!".

Mom, who is recovering from back surgery due to a fracture, gave thanks for the many medical workers who perform miracles everyday in saving and improving our lives in the greatest medical system known to man.

Scottie Andersen gave thanks to a loving God, who forgives us our many shortcomings, while guaranteeing us a life everlasting.

Have a great holiday,


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Bull Shit Words Banned at the Hubbard City Cafe

The Hubbard City Cafe has a black board (it's really white, but you know what I mean) and recently Aunt Martha was asked to scribe a list of words that the folks called "Bull Shit". The group agreed not to use, nor let be used, any of these words while on the holy premises of the Hubbard City Cafe. Aunt Martha, being the proper reporter and librarian that she is, very careful wrote in the right hand corner of the black board "Banned Words". After several major moans and groans this term was accepted over "Bull Shit" until Sweet Lou Tekell came back later and wrote in "Bull Shit" alongside Aunt Martha's verbiage. This debate actually took longer than the selection of the banned words themselves.

The list of words and brief narratives follow:


1. Transparency: This was a campaign commitment that the new President and his team, including Congress, would basically conduct their business "out in the open". No more back room deals, lobbyists meetings and over nighters at the White House, tricky language in Legislative Bills that might deceive the voters, passing legislation that everyone has studied, etc., etc., etc.

Why? It was decided that anyone who needed an explanation as to why this word was on the list would be so stupid they would not be able to read the word anyway, and therefor, no explanation is possible.

2. Jobs Saved or Created: This is a new, slick, term that keeps score on how well the Stimulus package is performing.

Why? Under the Administration's rational any job left in this economy was saved by the Obama Administration. Since real unemployment is roughly 17%, then jobs saved is 83% and that is a lot better than 0% which would be the employment rate if Bush was still in office. This argument seemed like a stretch to the folks at the Cafe, however, they are admittedly somewhat old fashioned.

3. The Science is Settled: This term is used to stop any debate about things the government wants to do like make some people a shit pot full of money by solving Global Warming. Dressed up these money makers are called Cap and Trade or even a Comprehensive Energy Management Strategy and Plan.

Why? Hubbard High School pretty much taught that science is never over which is really amazing since even our High School Football Coach, who taught science, even knew this. Also, it seems to the folks that if global warming is threatening our world then pretty soon it should start getting hotter instead of colder. Also, Billy Roy tossed in that if we don't know whether it is going to ran in the next 4 days how do we know what is going to happen in the next 50 years. Also, he wants to know what the hell green has to do with little Japanese girlie cars?

4. Too big to fail: To let these companies fail, is to leave ourselves open to systemic risks. If a big old company (AIG, GE, etc.) has contributed a lot of money to the Dems (Barry Soweto Barrack Hussein Obama), then the potential loss of that contribution is too big to let them fail. If they also contributed to the GOP (McCain), then it is uncontested that they are too big to fail.

Why? By insuring our largest companies will enable them to take unreasonable risks for short term gains if they can get bailed out later. Why not sell your Moma cow this year even though it may drastically diminish your calf crop next year, if the government will give you a new calf anyway? Some of the guys at the Cafe know there ain't no such thing as a free calf crop for the little guys, but cattle barron Scott Riddle just might get bailed out if the political donations are at risks.

Also, what the hell does systemic risks mean? Do you really believe these Washington bozos know?

5. Bailouts, stimulus, TARP – Wonderful programs to save little people like us from "going over the brink".

Why? Lumped together into the category of never worked before, don’t work now, ain’t never gonna work except to drive our national deficit to $1.4 trillion (with a T) this year alone. Get your mothers to read you a little history, for goodness sake.

Besides, what the hell is the brink? Billy Roy thinks it might be a good place to "jump your truck".

Think about it,



Letter to the Hubbard City Cafe

From: Jim Hammock (Maxine's boy in Austin)


The US has 5% of the world's population and 66% of the world's lawyers! The City of Hubbard, as you know, has no lawyers in residence and is doing just fine. The story goes that a neighboring city thought they had grown to the point of needing an attorney. Two years after the lawyer arrived and started practicing the new attorney was starving. Wise outside counsel recommended adding a second lawyer. Within 12 months both attorneys had more business than they can handle.

Back when I was in school the best and brightest students took one of three paths. Those who loved academics and were good students either became doctors or lawyers. These two groups competed vigorously in school and in their professions. The lawyers have clearly kicked the doctors butts in this competition to the point that the attorneys are about to take over the Health Care Industry (1/6 of the US economy) with the passage of Obamacare.

The third group of the best and brightest that did not like academics became business people. This group joined the doctor group in actually producing goods and services that have made the United States the envy of the world.

On the other hand the attorney's role, should be to defend the Constitution insuring individual freedoms and liberty for all, has metastasized like a horrible cancer. Today, we are drowning in laws; we are controlled by judicial decisions; we are driven to distraction by lawyers in all parts of our once private lives. Our products and services are not competitive in a world market because of the excessive legal costs and regulations. America has a place for laws and lawyers, but that place is modest and reasonable, not vast and unchecked.

97% of the political contributions from the American Trial Lawyers Association goes to the Democrat Party. The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers' Party.

Barack Obama is a lawyer. As are Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, John Edwards ,Elizabeth Edwards, and every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although surprise, surprise AlGore did not graduate). Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school. Look at the so called leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress: Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are lawyers.

The Republican Party is different. President Bush is a businessman. Vice President Cheney is a businessman. The leaders of the Republican Revolution: Newt Gingrich was a history professor. Tom Delay was an exterminator. Dick Armey was an economist. House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer. The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon. Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer? Gerald Ford, who left office 31 years ago and who barely won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976.

The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers.

Democrats mock and scorn men who create wealth, like Bush and Cheney, or who heal the sick, like Frist, or who immerse themselves in history, like Gingrich. The Lawyers' Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services that people want, as the enemies of America . And, so we have seen the procession of official enemies, in the eyes of the Lawyers' Party, grow. Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail? Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers, and anyone producing anything of value in our nation.

Bottom line, the Democratic Party Lawyer's scam is to convince the American People that they will protect them against the Producers. They follow in the footsteps of Marx, Lenin, Mao, and Castro. They step in the new tracks of Obama and Chavez.

Think about it,


P.S. Mom is recovering well from her back surgery. Tell Aunt Martha and the guys that she sends her love.