Thursday, December 31, 2009

Got A Big Question? Ask the Cafe.

When I get really confused I submit questions in writing to the Hubbard City Cafe

Question: Why can't obama and the Dems get aggressive in pursuing Jihadist Radical Islamic Terrorists or even say the words, War on Terror?

Cafe's Answer: It is a lawyer problem. Our 12/12/09 blog addressed the nation's lawyer problem such as, "Barack Obama is a lawyer. As are Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, John Edwards , Elizabeth Edwards, and every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although surprise, surprise AlGore did not graduate). Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school. Look at the so called leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress: Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are lawyers."

Specifically, if Obama calls this a WAR then he has to admit the jihadist cowardly slime balls we apprehend are COMBATANTS rather than ALLEGED PERPS. Lawyers don't fight wars, they finagle the legal systems. Voters in 2008 put the lawyers in charge. They are changing the system and we are hoping the CIA and military are insubortinate until we can get the lawyers out of office.

The American public have it right according to the latest Rasmussen poll. Fifty-eight percent (58%) of U.S. voters say waterboarding and other aggressive interrogation techniques should be used to gain information from the terrorist who attempted to bomb the airliner on Christmas Day.

A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that just 30% oppose the use of such techniques, and another 12% are not sure.

Seventy-one percent (71%) of all voters think the attempt by the Nigerian Muslim to blow up the airliner as it landed in Detroit should be investigated by military authorities as a terrorist act. Only 22% say it should be handled by civilian authorities as a criminal act, as is currently the case.

Meanwhile, in the Obama Administration, protecting the rights of terrorists has been more important than protecting the lives of Americans. Lawyers understand "rights" not national security. These same people have even convinced a large segment of the American public that Health Care is a "right". Anything deemed a "right" automatically puts the lawyers in charge. Got it?

Question #2: Does anyone know what is our real strategy in Afghanistan?

Answer: NO.

The confusions as to intentions, strategies and exit timing started immediately after the so called president's Dec. 1 speech, and have gotten dangerously worse in the ensuing month.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates, even Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Chairman of Joint Chiefs Adm. Mike Mullins, and the top generals all said we were there to win and the July 2011 exit date was conditional on whether enough had been accomplished by then.

Meanwhile, White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, adviser David Axelrod, Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, Vice President Joe Biden and the president all indicated July 2011 was real, and senior White House sources said "winning" was not an objective. In fact General McChrystal has been ordered not to use the term "Defeat the Taliban".

Obama, like a snake, will slither between these two positions. Meanwhile, our troops have no clear mission. Are our heroic boys and girls risking their lives to WIN a WAR or to position an Obama political pull out?

It hurts to think about it,


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Drunken Baucus Disqualified as Legitimate Idiot

The Cafe is inundated with nominations and voting activity regarding their "Idiot's List". While many of the suggestions are valid and will be considered, Billy Roy has determined some additional rules need to be established.

First ruling is that a candidate's idiocy can not be artificially enhanced by foreign substances such as adult beverages or illegal drugs. Billy Roy says some of the Cafe's brethren in Montana are campaigning very hard to get Senator Max Baucus on the top ten list. As you probably recall Max authored the Democrats Health Care Reform Bill before Harry Reid (#5 on the Idiot's List) rewrote the final bill. Billy Roy has ruled that Max has been disqualified due to the excessive use of massive adult beverages as demonstrated in the You Tube Link below. Just paste this in to your browser as the evidence is overwhelming.

The current top ten ranking of the "Idiot's List" :

1. Barry

2. Janet Napolitano

3. Robert Gibbs

4. Nancy Peolosi

5. Harry Reid

6. Maxine Waters

7. Barney Frank

8. Henry Waxman

9. Al Franken

10. Tie: Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins, Ben Nelson, and Joe Lieberman

Disqualified: Joe Biden (considered as an "Off the Chart" idiot and unrankable)

The debate continues so keep your cards and letters flowing,

Here is the Baucus You Tube:


Monday, December 28, 2009

Breaking News: Obama Retains His #1 Position

President Obama described the terrorist of flight 253 as "an isolated event" in his long awaited press conference today. He is putting the passenger captured terrorist into the criminal justice system instead of making him an enemy combatant which would send him into an interrogation process. Meanwhile, Al Queda is contradicting President Obama by taking credit for this failed attack in response to our killing of terrorists in Yemen.

Obama additionally tried to turn the attention of the press to Iran where he has dithered while attempting to make friends with Iran's insane Radical Muslim President who has thumbed his nose at the US while continuing his development of nuclear weapons.

Based on President Obama's briefing he was once again returned to the #1 position on the "Idiot's List" at the Hubbard City Cafe. He is listed there under the name of Barry.

Think about it even though it hurts,


Napolitano Leaps Like An Idiot Frog to the #2 Slot

It got really rowdy today at the Cafe. Of course the conversation started with a discussion of Northwest Airlines flight 253, and of course, that led to a raging argument over the "Idiot's List".

Butch Jackson, local philosopher and news fact checker, gave his version of the multiple (more than one) interviews done by the honorable Janet Napolitano, Obama's appointed Homeland Security Secretary. It went like this:

Interviewer: Is Bdulmutallab associated with Al Queda?
Napolitano: We don't know.

Interviewer: Was this terrorist attack part of a larger plot?
Napolitano: We don't know.

Interviewer: Did the security systems at Amsterdam work?
Napolitano: We don't know.

Interviewer: Do we need to change or improve out security procedures?
Napolitano: We don't know.

Interviewer: Did our security systems in the U. S. work properly?
Napolitano: Yes, everything worked great including the passengers and crew.
Plus, all other systems were working properly within one hour after the incident.

Interviewer: This terrorist is from Nigeria and trained in Yemen, correct.
Napolitano: We are not sure about Yemen, but clearly this incident is confirmation that President Obama's decision to focus on Afghanistan and Pakistan is the correct focus.

Interviewer: So even though all systems worked after the incident, all systems completely failed to prevent the incident?
Napolitano: Exactly, that's why I have the same questions you do.

Interviewer: Would President Obama tell American Citizens that it is safe to fly today?
Napolitano: Absolutely!!!!

Billy Roy came in with both barrels blazing. "So this middle aged, overweight thing ,with more hair colors than the rainbow, thinks that once the Pentaerythritol tetranitrate (PETN) was not discovered by security and then failed to explode because of a faulty syringe detonator, and once the passengers overpowered the Islamic Terrorist, and the passengers and crew detained this Muslim extremist terrorist-- than everything worked after that. In my opinion this Janet what-ever-her-name-is goes to 2nd place in the World Biggest Idiot's List."

Well this last statement put the puck on the ice. Joe Frank Dell said, "Wait a minute. You are putting her above Robert Gibbs, Obama's idiotic press secretary? Did you hear him on the Sunday shows? He works everyday and clearly deserves that second slot on the idiot ticket."

Of course Butch couldn't just sit there. "I still think Pelosi and Reid aren't given enough credit. This would push them down to 4th and 5th slots just ahead of the Iranian President. I still think Maxine Waters should be at least in the top 5, and what about Barbara the California Boxer?"

Aunt Martha took the opportunity to bring up an old issue about our Vice President. "I know we have all agreed that Joe Biden is off the idiot charts but I just wonder if we are treating him fairly? He so likes recognition."

Mayor Fulton then came in and made a decision: "The fact that half of the detainees in GITMO are from Yemen should have been somewhat of an alert not to mention that Bdulmutallab's dad called the U.S. embassy with an explicit warning tells me this is off the charts idiocy. OK, put this Janet Napa-something in the second slot just under Barry himself, who appointed most of these guys. We will review it again after the first of the year. Our problem is that we are just so candidate rich. Hopefully the list can be reduced after the November elections in 2010."

Meanwhile I put my son's family on a flight this morning.

God Watch Over Us All,


Thursday, December 24, 2009

US Senate Screws America on Christmas Eve

The Hubbard City Cafe Folks just plain don't like to see people "get screwed". They have long memories and take great notes so that they can respond when it is "pay back" time. So called health care reform has created a pretty long list:


37 states will get screwed who did not get the bribes (unconstitutional) that the 13 Democratic Senators got for their states before they would support the bill.

Taxpayers are screwed by 14 different new taxes either levied on taxpayers directly or that will come to them through a third party like a medical equipment supplier. Bill Clinton was a lightweight in deceit compared to Obama's "not raising taxes on those who make under $250k by one dime".

Our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren are all screwed by a bill that costs $2.5 Trillion. The Dems don't say this will not increase the deficit. They say the "Congressional Budget Office says it will not increase the deficit". Not even someone as dumb as a Democrat really believes this bill will reduce the deficit.

The elderly are completely screwed by a $500 Billion reduction in Medicare. This money will be spent on the new 30 million people on the government dole who will be subsidized and forced to buy insurance. Medicare is headed for bankruptcy and this will only make the problem worse not "extend" Medicare which is the biggest lie of all. Those elderly which have Medicare Advantage will be screwed by losing it despite Obama's lie about those with insurance will see no change (an under the table deal with AARP).

Young people who are included in this current "poor un-insured group" are screwed by being "mandated" (forced) to buy insurance or pay fines of $750 (unconstitutional). The young people can then screw the insurance companies and their policy holders by paying the $750 fine and then only buying insurance when they get sick since the insurance companies must insure people with pre-existing conditions.

Doctors, healcare workers, and hospitals will be screwed by the government underpaying medicare and medicaid reimbursements and will have to off load everything they can to the insured raising insurance prices or else they will just stop treating medicare and medicaid patients.

All patients will get screwed with long wait times and a reduction in the quality of care because doctors will be paid less to treat 30 million more patients causing rationing. Additionally patients will find fewer and fewer young people choosing careers in the medical field causing additional shortages in care.

Obama cut an under the table deal with the Insurance Companies screwing taxpayers, policy holders, and young people who will be forced into buying insurance. Insurance companies will be forced to cover pre-existing conditions which will be very expensive. It must be paid by NEW buyers of insurance and existing policy holders rate increases. A Democratic Congressman said the following about the NEW policy holders: “Under the Senate plan, millions of Americans will be forced into private insurance company plans, which will be subsidized by taxpayers. That alternative will do almost nothing to reform health care but will be a windfall for insurance companies. Is it any surprise that stock prices for some of those insurers are up recently?"

The insurance companies will get screwed because they will be completely regulated by a government agency who will eventually set key operating policies.

The American Voters are screwed by a Congress that goes completely against their wishes as shown by the latest Rasmussen Polls:

41% of voters nationwide were in favor of the health care bill, but 55% were opposed

54% say taxpayer-funded health insurance should be prohibited from covering abortions. The House version of the legislation includes such a prohibition, but the Senate version does not. Fourteen percent (14%) of U.S. voters say health insurance paid for or subsidized with government funding should be required to cover abortions.

87% believe that before anyone receives government health care subsidies, they should be required to prove they are legally in the United States. President Obama and congressional Democrats insist the health care plan will not cover illegal immigrants, the legislation does not require proof of citizenship for those seeking taxpayer-funded health care help. Only eight percent (8%) of voters oppose the requirement for proving that recipients of health care subsidies prove they are in the country legally (remember Congressman Wilson calling Obama the liar that he is?).

Pay back time starts now,


Wednesday, December 23, 2009


The folks at the Cafe could barely talk at all, and then only about the events in D.C. surrounding the closure vote on Health Care Reform. I have reported their brief and censored comments below:

That Nebraska senator xxxxxxxxx Nelson xxxxxxxx strung up by his xxxxx. And then xxxxxxxx Obama lied worse than xxxxxxx Clinton xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. You could stick xxxx Reid's xxxxxx brain in xxxxx flea's rear and it would rattle like a xxxxxxx BB in a box car. Blue Dogs my xxx, no dog would xxxxx with these xxxxx guys.

Billy Roy wants the Congressional Budget Office to do his income taxes since it all comes out neutral no matter what goes in.

Butch hopes the Democratic Congress can come back next year and continue to work on the awful corruption in Afgahanistan.

Let's be thankful for the coming elections in 2010.


Thursday, December 17, 2009

Those Pesky Little Obama Rules of Engagement

After going 3-7 last year the folks at the Hubbard City Café barged in on a meeting at the Hubbard City Drug Store (remember, that's where the Libs have coffee). The new football coach (8th coach in the last 5 years), Obama Bin Here, was presenting his plan for next year to the applause of the drug store Liberals. The report follows:

"First we will put 11 of the very best players in the district on the field as soon as we can after the game starts, however, I will start withdrawing (taking them out) after the second quarter.

My goal is to re-establish Hubbard’s reputation for sportsmanship in the football world, and to do so, I will commit to the following rules of engagement:

1. I will run no plays that surprise my opponent.
2. Each defensive player will be warned before we direct our play at that player’s position.
3. Referees will accompany Hubbard ball carriers on all rushing plays.
4. No Hubbard player will hit an opponent unless they are hit first (except for rule #7).
5. No Hubbard player can engage an opponent if that opponent's fans or family are watching.
6. No gay opponent may be tackled nor searched for the football by heterosexual tacklers (see rule #7).
7. No opposing ball carrier may be engaged unless they have the ball within the Hubbard 20 yard line and are on a direct path to the Hubbard goal line (see rules #4 and #6."

While Sweet Lou Teakell was happy to hear we were putting the district's best players on the field, the rest of the game plan just didn’t feel right. After tossing and turning as he tried to sleep that night, he finally gave up and read his emails starting with this one:


Published on 12/16/09
By Paul E. Vallely
MG, US Army (Ret)
Gold Coast Chronicle

President Obama is sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan that he will start pulling out in 18 months. These U.S. troops will battle both Taliban and their own rules. The Times compiled an informal list of the new rules from interviews with U.S. forces. Among them:

1. No night or surprise searches.
2. Villagers have to be warned prior to searches.
3. ANA or ANP must accompany U.S. units on searches.
4. U.S. soldiers may not fire at the enemy unless the enemy is preparing to fire first.
5. U.S. forces cannot engage the enemy if civilians are present.
6. Only women can search women.
7. Troops can fire at an insurgent if they catch him placing an IED but not if insurgents are walking away from an area where explosives have been laid

Even in Hubbard, Texas football is still a game. War never was and never will be. Either commit and play to win or get our guys the hell out of there.

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

AlGore Receives Cafe's Award

Butch Jackson opened Monday's coffee discussion by asking Aunt Martha to read the week end's news bulletins. She seemed to focus somewhat on financial stuff:

"The Senate passed the $450 billion minibus spending bill Sunday, approving 12% spending increases for many domestic programs when the deficit is already $1.4 trillion and growing.

Heritage Foundation fellow Brian Riedl reports the situation is only going to get worse under President Barack Obama’s budget:
Federal spending (which has remained around 20 percent of economy since the 1950s) would surpass 28 percent of economy by 2019. Federal spending per household would rise from $25,000 per household in 2008 to more than $37,000 per household by 2019.

"Damn," said Butch.

Billy Roy Mitchum voiced some discomfort with these current events, "I feel like I am stuck in the back seat of an old Cadillac Convertable with Hank Williams, Sr. at the wheel on a bad road in Louisana. Hank's drunk as a skunk while I'm bone dry. I pretty much know what's going to happen, and I want out of that car. But there's no way out. The worst thing about being trapped like this with Obama driving is you've lost your freedom. It's not like you are in chains, but that you are an economic slave to the federal government, and they are 'spreading my hard earned meager wealth around'."

You probably won't catch a lot of Cafe folks climbing in back seats this week.

Since Sweet Lou Tekell thinks AlGore is the World's Dumbest Man, he loves following anything to do with AlGore and has a straight line into the Climate Change Conference. Here is Lou, "Meanwhile in Copenhagen they are arguing about how much money India, China, and other 'developing' nations will need from us to buy any green colored products made by companies owned by people like AlGore. China says $110 billion (with a b) is not enough. Here is a direct quote from one of the attendees at the Copenhagen conference. 'Mobilizing of billions of dollars in climate aid from industrialized nations (that be us) to pay for clean energy in developing countries would be positive for business, Iberdrola Chief Executive Officer Jose Ignacio Sanchez Galan said in an interview. Spain-based Iberdrola is the world’s biggest wind-energy generator'. Wonder whose business that guy is talking about? Don't think it is my business, and why the hell does he have so many names?"

"Damn," said Butch.

Since the Monday Cafe meeting AlGore has reinforced Lou's view of his lack of intelligence, "Hell, AlGore generates more wind energy than any Spanish company. Why just this week he said that there was a 75% chance of the Arctic Ice Caps melting within 5-7 years. Just so happens 7 years is near the average life of one of AlGore's venture funds enabling him to cash out on his 'green' (as in money) investments. After the 7 year forecast goes bust, Al's response will be just like Butch's. He will just say 'damn, missed that one'."

It is reported that Borger Lee Heard adjourned Monday's coffee session, "well, seems to me we would all be better off if this AlGore guy was locked in the trunk of old Hank's Cadillac travelling at a very high rate of speed on a really bad and lonely stretch of road". As we read this blog Billy Roy is putting this saga to song.

Think about it,


Saturday, December 12, 2009


Letter to the Hubbard City Cafe

From: Jim Hammock (Maxine's boy in Austin)


The US has 5% of the world's population and 66% of the world's lawyers! The City of Hubbard, as you know, has no lawyers in residence and is doing just fine. The story goes that a neighboring city thought they had grown to the point of needing an attorney. Two years after the lawyer arrived and started practicing the new attorney was starving. Wise outside counsel recommended adding a second lawyer. Within 12 months both attorneys had more business than they can handle.

Back when I was in school the best and brightest students took one of three paths. Those who loved academics and were good students either became doctors or lawyers. These two groups competed vigorously in school and in their professions. The lawyers have clearly kicked the doctors butts in this competition to the point that the attorneys are about to take over the Health Care Industry (1/6 of the US economy) with the passage of Obamacare.

The third group of the best and brightest that did not like academics became business people. This group joined the doctor group in actually producing goods and services that have made the United States the envy of the world.

On the other hand the attorney's role, should be to defend the Constitution insuring individual freedoms and liberty for all, has metastasized like a horrible cancer. Today, we are drowning in laws; we are controlled by judicial decisions; we are driven to distraction by lawyers in all parts of our once private lives. Our products and services are not competitive in a world market because of the excessive legal costs and regulations. America has a place for laws and lawyers, but that place is modest and reasonable, not vast and unchecked.

97% of the political contributions from the American Trial Lawyers Association goes to the Democrat Party. The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers' Party.

Barack Obama is a lawyer. As are Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, John Edwards ,Elizabeth Edwards, and every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although surprise, surprise AlGore did not graduate). Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school. Look at the so called leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress: Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are lawyers.

The Republican Party is different. President Bush is a businessman. Vice President Cheney is a businessman. The leaders of the Republican Revolution: Newt Gingrich was a history professor. Tom Delay was an exterminator. Dick Armey was an economist. House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer. The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon. Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer? Gerald Ford, who left office 31 years ago and who barely won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976.

The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers.

Democrats mock and scorn men who create wealth, like Bush and Cheney, or who heal the sick, like Frist, or who immerse themselves in history, like Gingrich. The Lawyers' Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services that people want, as the enemies of America . And, so we have seen the procession of official enemies, in the eyes of the Lawyers' Party, grow. Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail? Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers, and anyone producing anything of value in our nation.

Bottom line, the Democratic Party Lawyer's scam is to convince the American People that they will protect them against the Producers. They follow in the footsteps of Marx, Lenin, Mao, and Castro. They step in the new tracks of Obama and Chavez.

Think about it,


P.S. Mom is recovering well from her back surgery. Tell Aunt Martha and the guys that she sends her love.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Cafe Issues Their Own Employment Report

Unemployment at something between 10-18%, Obamacare Applied to Afghanistan, Nobel Peace Breaks Out in Norway, Gore's still Changing the Climate, Heisman Trophy Uncertainties, BCS Bowl Selection Controversies, and some guy named Suh annihilates the entire UT Offensive Line.

WOW. Obviously the discussions are getting way heavy and the stress is piling up at the Cafe. It sometimes results in me getting a "venting" email like the one below from Butch Jackson, Hubbard City Cafe's resident analyst, statistician, and general observer of life:


I am in trouble...

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 20 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.

Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, writing blogs..


Real nice.

Generally overworked but hanging on in Hubbard City,


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Taliban Warning to the Cafe

To: The Hubbard City Cafe

From: Dr. J. Decherd (A Friend of Maxine's Boy, Jim, in Austin, Texas)

Subject: Its gonna get ugly

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration Mohammed Omar warned the United States that if Military actions against Iraq and Afghanistan continue, Taliban authorities intend to cut off America's supply of Convenience Store Managers and possibly Motel 6 & Super 8 Managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by DELL and AOL Customer Service Reps.

Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened to send us no more candidates for President of the United States !

Folks, it's gonna get ugly!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Tiger Woods: Don't Come to the Cafe for Sympathy

Tiger Woods was cut no slack at the Hubbard City Cafe. Even though it has not been mentioned here, golf is a major topic on a semi-regular basis to the point that Billy Roy Mitchum, a non-golfer, feels like the cafe is over saturated with what he calls that "golfsh t".

Butch Jackson, local historian, statistician, and all around 'know it all', repeated a story about Arnold Palmer's lunch with Tiger Woods when Tiger was 21 years of age. It seems Tiger was complaining about the interviews, autograph seekers, news reporters, and in general the lack of privacy that kept him from living an 'ordinary life'. Arnie listened patiently before responding, "Tiger, if you want to live the life of an ordinary 21 year old, why don't you give your $50million (that's with an M) back and go play golf with your pals like most ordinary people."

Butch continued, "Well, poor Tiger is now worth almost $1Billion (that's with a B) and is still complaining about his lack of privacy. He wants people to leave him and his family alone, and talks about his private life. If it wasn't for the $1B, no one except his wife would care what he does, and that probably includes that waitress in LA. "

Sweet Lou Teakell asked an interesting question, "Has Tiger ever acknowledged that most of that $1B came from his share of selling shoes, shirts, caps, and cars. All of which he neither produced nor distributed. All he did was put what is now a fairly tainted name on these items. I guess he thinks this is 'fair, huh?"

Billy Roy closed out the discussion, "I don't know about golf, but from what I have heard I bet his military Dad would kick his skinny butt if he was alive today. Like a good number of the young people today Tiger needs to grow up. I personally wish everyone had to serve a couple of years in the military on a mandatory basis, even a Tiger Woods."

There wasn't much more to say on this topic. The Cafe has spoken.

Think about it,


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Looking for Buster While Shedding Light on the Middle East

Billy Roy said that Obama's speech to the poor West Point Cadets reminded him of a recent conversation between a local rancher and a young boy in that it was just too mushy when clear communications were needed. It seems an anonymous rancher (you will see why) got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch outside of Hubbard and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your Dad home?" the rancher asked. "No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the rancher, "Is your Mother here?" "No sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, (let's call him Buster)? Is he here?" The youngster responded,"no sir, he went with Mom and Dad." The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself. "Is there anything I can do for you?" the boy asked politely. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad." "Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Buster getting my daughter, (let's call her Sally), pregnant."
The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $200 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for Buster."

Joe Frank Dell, a veteran, who sees things in fairly simple terms took the floor. "The Middle East is all about bad guys, under the names of Al Qaeda, the Taliban, and other Islamist Extremist like the Iranians. The bad guys want three main things: oil, nuclear weapons, and to kill the infidels (USA) that stand between them and the first two things. The Middle East has 70% of the world's oil reserves with the Saudis #1 and Iran/Iraq ranked #2 and #3. Pakistan has nuclear weapons and Iran is getting close. The bad guys have control of Iran and want control of the Saudis, the Iraqis, and Pakistan. Afghanistan and Iraq had been a safe haven for the bad guys until Bush ran the Taliban and Saddam Hussein out."

With the situation fairly well described Joe Frank went into editorial mode, "anybody with half a slug's brain knows that George Bush stifled the bad guy's plans across the board and has kept them on the run for 7 years without any attacks on the US. He has these guys fighting as guerrillas in the mountains and a long way from obtaining nuclear weapons and oil. Meanwhile Obama doesn't even know why we are there. He wants to get out asap leaving the Middle East to the bad guys. Most folks are still trying to figure out which side he is on. Hell, we may have to stay there forever unless the rest of the world wakes up."

By now the Cafe audience had thinned out pretty good so Joe Frank wrapped up, "So what should our strategy be? Kill the bad guys, bomb Iran's nuclear facilities, and force what are supposed to be 'good Muslims' to help us kill the bad ones. As Bush said after 911, you are either with us or against us."

Think about it,


Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Cafe Gives Thanks

The Hubbard Folks love their Thanksgiving Holiday and take it quiet seriously. Below are just a few of the things they are thankful for this year:

Aunt Martha gave thanks to President Abraham Lincoln who established the Thanksgiving National Holiday in the midst of the Civil War and before the Secularist Lawyers ridiculously "separated church and state!":

"I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the imposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the divine purpose, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union."

Butch Johnston ironically gave thanks to the Chinese and Indian leaders for saving the world's economy by not agreeing to the UN and American President's Global Warming treaties that would bankrupt our economies and increase the suffering of people of all nations. Who would have ever thought in the year 2009 many in the US were praying the Chinese would save us from Socialism and bankrupcy.

Billy Roy gave thanks for our military for protecting us from evil Islamic terrorists all over the world and for those who would support the military's efforts against those who would retreat from the radical Muslim threat.

Scott Riddle gave thanks for friends and family who truly make life worthwhile when it is all said and done.

Sweet Lou Tekell gave thanks for Grandchildren because "there just ain't nothin like it!".

Mom, who is recovering from back surgery due to a fracture, gave thanks for the many medical workers who perform miracles everyday in saving and improving our lives in the greatest medical system known to man.

Scottie Andersen gave thanks to a loving God, who forgives us our many shortcomings, while guaranteeing us a life everlasting.

Have a great holiday,


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Bull Shit Words Banned at the Hubbard City Cafe

The Hubbard City Cafe has a black board (it's really white, but you know what I mean) and recently Aunt Martha was asked to scribe a list of words that the folks called "Bull Shit". The group agreed not to use, nor let be used, any of these words while on the holy premises of the Hubbard City Cafe. Aunt Martha, being the proper reporter and librarian that she is, very careful wrote in the right hand corner of the black board "Banned Words". After several major moans and groans this term was accepted over "Bull Shit" until Sweet Lou Tekell came back later and wrote in "Bull Shit" alongside Aunt Martha's verbiage. This debate actually took longer than the selection of the banned words themselves.

The list of words and brief narratives follow:


1. Transparency: This was a campaign commitment that the new President and his team, including Congress, would basically conduct their business "out in the open". No more back room deals, lobbyists meetings and over nighters at the White House, tricky language in Legislative Bills that might deceive the voters, passing legislation that everyone has studied, etc., etc., etc.

Why? It was decided that anyone who needed an explanation as to why this word was on the list would be so stupid they would not be able to read the word anyway, and therefor, no explanation is possible.

2. Jobs Saved or Created: This is a new, slick, term that keeps score on how well the Stimulus package is performing.

Why? Under the Administration's rational any job left in this economy was saved by the Obama Administration. Since real unemployment is roughly 17%, then jobs saved is 83% and that is a lot better than 0% which would be the employment rate if Bush was still in office. This argument seemed like a stretch to the folks at the Cafe, however, they are admittedly somewhat old fashioned.

3. The Science is Settled: This term is used to stop any debate about things the government wants to do like make some people a shit pot full of money by solving Global Warming. Dressed up these money makers are called Cap and Trade or even a Comprehensive Energy Management Strategy and Plan.

Why? Hubbard High School pretty much taught that science is never over which is really amazing since even our High School Football Coach, who taught science, even knew this. Also, it seems to the folks that if global warming is threatening our world then pretty soon it should start getting hotter instead of colder. Also, Billy Roy tossed in that if we don't know whether it is going to ran in the next 4 days how do we know what is going to happen in the next 50 years. Also, he wants to know what the hell green has to do with little Japanese girlie cars?

4. Too big to fail: To let these companies fail, is to leave ourselves open to systemic risks. If a big old company (AIG, GE, etc.) has contributed a lot of money to the Dems (Barry Soweto Barrack Hussein Obama), then the potential loss of that contribution is too big to let them fail. If they also contributed to the GOP (McCain), then it is uncontested that they are too big to fail.

Why? By insuring our largest companies will enable them to take unreasonable risks for short term gains if they can get bailed out later. Why not sell your Moma cow this year even though it may drastically diminish your calf crop next year, if the government will give you a new calf anyway? Some of the guys at the Cafe know there ain't no such thing as a free calf crop for the little guys, but cattle barron Scott Riddle just might get bailed out if the political donations are at risks.

Also, what the hell does systemic risks mean? Do you really believe these Washington bozos know?

5. Bailouts, stimulus, TARP – Wonderful programs to save little people like us from "going over the brink".

Why? Lumped together into the category of never worked before, don’t work now, ain’t never gonna work except to drive our national deficit to $1.4 trillion (with a T) this year alone. Get your mothers to read you a little history, for goodness sake.

Besides, what the hell is the brink? Billy Roy thinks it might be a good place to "jump your truck".

Think about it,



Letter to the Hubbard City Cafe

From: Jim Hammock (Maxine's boy in Austin)


The US has 5% of the world's population and 66% of the world's lawyers! The City of Hubbard, as you know, has no lawyers in residence and is doing just fine. The story goes that a neighboring city thought they had grown to the point of needing an attorney. Two years after the lawyer arrived and started practicing the new attorney was starving. Wise outside counsel recommended adding a second lawyer. Within 12 months both attorneys had more business than they can handle.

Back when I was in school the best and brightest students took one of three paths. Those who loved academics and were good students either became doctors or lawyers. These two groups competed vigorously in school and in their professions. The lawyers have clearly kicked the doctors butts in this competition to the point that the attorneys are about to take over the Health Care Industry (1/6 of the US economy) with the passage of Obamacare.

The third group of the best and brightest that did not like academics became business people. This group joined the doctor group in actually producing goods and services that have made the United States the envy of the world.

On the other hand the attorney's role, should be to defend the Constitution insuring individual freedoms and liberty for all, has metastasized like a horrible cancer. Today, we are drowning in laws; we are controlled by judicial decisions; we are driven to distraction by lawyers in all parts of our once private lives. Our products and services are not competitive in a world market because of the excessive legal costs and regulations. America has a place for laws and lawyers, but that place is modest and reasonable, not vast and unchecked.

97% of the political contributions from the American Trial Lawyers Association goes to the Democrat Party. The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers' Party.

Barack Obama is a lawyer. As are Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, John Edwards ,Elizabeth Edwards, and every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although surprise, surprise AlGore did not graduate). Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school. Look at the so called leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress: Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are lawyers.

The Republican Party is different. President Bush is a businessman. Vice President Cheney is a businessman. The leaders of the Republican Revolution: Newt Gingrich was a history professor. Tom Delay was an exterminator. Dick Armey was an economist. House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer. The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon. Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer? Gerald Ford, who left office 31 years ago and who barely won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976.

The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers.

Democrats mock and scorn men who create wealth, like Bush and Cheney, or who heal the sick, like Frist, or who immerse themselves in history, like Gingrich. The Lawyers' Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services that people want, as the enemies of America . And, so we have seen the procession of official enemies, in the eyes of the Lawyers' Party, grow. Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail? Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers, and anyone producing anything of value in our nation.

Bottom line, the Democratic Party Lawyer's scam is to convince the American People that they will protect them against the Producers. They follow in the footsteps of Marx, Lenin, Mao, and Castro. They step in the new tracks of Obama and Chavez.

Think about it,


P.S. Mom is recovering well from her back surgery. Tell Aunt Martha and the guys that she sends her love.

Friday, November 20, 2009

The Deceased Governor Hubbard Outlines Phase 1 to Stop Obama

Butch Jackson waked at 3 AM hearing hoof beats in his bedroom. After rubbing his eyes there it was, a large white stallion with the Honorable and Deceased Governor Hubbard astride. Gov. Hubbard, if you recall (see 11/03/09 blog post), has appeared several times to Butch describing the coming Obama takeover of the US and his rise to a Socialist United Nations leadership position as World President of Social Justice in the year 2017.

When Butch asked if this future nightmare could be stopped, the Good Governor promised to return and discuss a strategy to preserve freedom throughout Hubbard and surrounding communities.

Butch had one question before relinquishing the floor, "Is that big old white horse house trained?"

The Governor, being a former politician, did not understand the question nor the concept of horse shit as he took to Butch's floor, "You guys at the Cafe have got to make every effort to stop Obamacare. Your attack must be simple and straight forward. First address the economic claims leading you to believe that proposed congressional legislation would tackle the problems of cost, access and quality. This is totally untrue. While the various bills do deal with access by expanding Medicaid and mandating subsidized insurance, the costs to do so will be horrendous. Meanwhile, there are no provisions to control the growth of costs or raise the quality of care. In fact costs go up and the quality of care, particularly for seniors, goes down dramatically. Lastly, despite the tricks of starting taxes in 2010 that will do substantial harm to the nation's economy and holding benefits to start in 2014 the bill will increase the deficit by at least $2.3 Trillion (with a T) over the next two decades. Don't forget the budget deficit without Obamacare is growing at $1.4T per year and projected to be $24T by 2020."

"I thought cash for clunkers took care of all that!", interrupted Butch.

It appeared to Butch at the time that political ghosts really don't need oxygen as there were no visible signs of the Governor catching his breath, "The intent of Barry Soweto Barrack Hussein Obama has nothing to do with providing affordable health care choices. Instead it is a convenient cover for the most massive transfer of power to the Executive Branch of government that has ever occurred, or even been contemplated. If this law or a similar one is adopted, major portions of the Constitution of the United States will effectively have been destroyed. The first thing to go will be the balance of power between the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches of the U.S. Government. The Congress will be transferring to the Obama Administration authority in a number of different areas over the lives of the American people and the businesses they own."

"This legislation violates the following provisions of the Constitution that these same Legislators have sworn to protect:

No Where does the Constitution give Congress the right to regulate Health Care.

4th Amendment does not give Obama appointees the right to have access to personal financial, health care, and employer information which really are unreasonable search and seizures.

5th Amendment which precludes the government from taking your property because you refuse to purchase 'deemed acceptable' insurance without due process.

10th Amendment allows that all powers not given to the Federal Government are preserved to the States or the people, neither of which will have any power over this health care legislation."

"Butch, just in case you may have slipped off, I have written all this down. Also, here is a list of Senators that the Cafe needs to lobby and quickly. It is your only hope. You must turn as many of these as possible. Keep in mind, the bribery and corruption used by this crowd in the White House and in Congressional Leadership has exceeded any in our country's history. These people will use any means to get their desired ends."

Lieberman (CT)
Bayh (Ind) 202-2245623
Landrieu (LA) 202-224-5824
Pryor (Ark) 202-224-2353
Lincoln (Ark) 202-224-4843
Nelson (Neb) 202-224-6551
Johnson (SD) 202-224-5842
Conrad (ND) 202-224-2043
Tester (Montana)
Engler (Col)

"Obama will need all of these Senators to back the bill to get the 60 votes to pass it (assuming you can hold Collins and Snowe from Maine)."

"Good luck to the Cafe and to America." The Gov.

Think about it,


Monday, November 9, 2009

Sometimes It Just Ain't Right To NOT Jump to Conclusions

Billy Roy Mechum came into the Cafe early today with his head bowed low. BM says, "all weekend long I saw and heard Hillary, George Bush, Sr., Chancellor Kohl, and even Russians take credit for the wall that Ronald Reagan destroyed separating East and West Germany. I never once heard Ronald Reagan mentioned. Hell, Obama wouldn't even accept an invitation to attend the celebration. I sure wish he was more proud of what our great nation has done for people all around he world. He probably believes the wrong side won and that Reagan was an embarrassment to World Socialism. I guess he was too busy cutting deals to cram his Obamacare down our throats and speaking out so forcefully that we shouldn't 'jump to conclusions' about the second largest Muslim Extremist murder in US history at Fort Hood."

Now everybody in the Cafe knows it is 'don't mess with BM time' as he continues, " Count them, 13 dead and over 30 wounded. When the government's first reaction to a tragedy is that the folks shouldn't jump to conclusions it always means that it is obvious to the dumbest casual blind observer that they screwed something up royally. The only questions are who screwed up, and what do we do to keep Radical Muslim Extremists away from secure areas like Fort Hood. Who knows, might even mean we have to profile the bad guys. Ask questions like: devout Muslim? openly opposes the US and the war in Middle East? defends the cause of suicide bombers? has argued with returning soldiers about our role in the war? "

"Hell, who knows maybe they will even decide that our bases should have well armed security guards that would be stationed in places where there are hundreds of unarmed assets. Here's another case of the only person with an illegal weapon is the bad guy." Deep breath, "and then the news networks rush to interview this jerks family and we find out what a great guy he has always been and how people weren't nice to him and drew a picture of a camel in the dust on his car. Then you've got the one that just wished his name had been Smith, and thank goodness this guy wasn't a terrorist. Well tell the wives, kids, mothers, and dads of the these almost 50 victims that this guy wasn't a terrorist screaming 'praise Allah' as he got off over 100 rounds shooting their innocent unarmed loved ones. You know if he talks like a duck, walks like a duck, and shoots like a duck, then someone with semi-average intelligence might take a big jump and conclude that it ain't no Bush's Chicken."

Things were pretty quiet for some time before Sweet Lou Tekell broke the silence, "I think they believe that folks might jump to the conclusion that this Political Correctness Crap is getting in the way of keeping the country safe against Muslim fanatics that want to destroy us. They want us to believe that these things just happen, and this guy was completely innocent until he started firing those rounds. They want us to believe that Hasan and those flying the planes into the Towers could have just as easily been Southern Baptists. This isn't a war against terrorists, but just random acts of violence that the lawyers can handle. Let's just leave it to the lawyers like those two in the White House."

Scottie Andersen jumped in with his concerns, "I just hope this doesn't keep the good old boys from getting out of GITMO and receiving their fair trials. Who knows maybe we didn't even read them their rights when we captured em. By the way, what kind of criminal investigation do you have for a guy who shoots over 100 rounds at innocent strangers before hundreds of witnesses? Most of our officials can not comment at this time while 'a criminal investigation' is underway. How long will take to get this guy a speedy trial by jury, and will we put him in a prison where he can convert hundreds of others to his Islamic insanity (like H. Rap Brown) while he is in there? Wouldn't it have been awful if someone knew Hasan was going to perform a mass murder and the authorities waterboarded the informant and prevented this? You know, like Sweet Lou says we just need to leave these things to the lawyers."

Scott Riddle closed the meeting with, "Meanwhile our Commander in Chief is strengthening our security by closing GITMO so the world will like us, dithering about the proper staffing of our troops in Afghanistan, playing stupid UN games with the Iranian Wackos as they develop nuclear weapons, and working hard to enable soldiers to be openly gay in the military. This guy really knows how to 'man up' when our soldiers and citizens are at risk doesn't he."

Think about it,


Friday, November 6, 2009

Newt Gingrich Warns Us

On the eve of the horrible shooting at Fort Hood we might want to re-visit Newt's warning in this video.

Just paste it into your browser.

Think about it,


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Algore Going Green to Make Green

To: The Hubbard City Cafe

From: Maxine's Boy, Jim

Subject: Algore Going Green to Make Green

Hey, I bet you guys never thought that you could invest along side of big shots like Algore and big California Venture Capitalist, did you. Well as it turns out, you already are investing with them. Yes, your tax money is stimulating their investments big time.

I encourage each of you to read this piece at the end of my letter, and forward it to as many people as possible. I know the Venture Capital people mentioned in this article as I worked very closely with them at one time in the good old days when we were doing honest work trying to build companies like Microsoft and Cisco. Evidently that work was too hard. This "new way" of riding political movements like Global Warming to manipulate markets is the biggest scam ever. Bernie Madoff is chump change compared to the potential rip off of this so called Green Movement.

There are several basic truths that are being hidden from the tax payer/voter regarding Global Warming, Cap and Trade, Comprehensive Energy Reform, or the Green Movement:

1. If the Globe is gradually warming, and if CO2 is a very small contributor (as compared to Sun dynamics), the measures the US can take alone will have basically zero impact. (note the two big ifs which are scientific issues not political). Additionally, measures if taken by the entire Globe will have minimal impacts on CO2 emissions, if any.

2. Wind and solar energy are far from economically feasible (as compared to the economics of fossil fuels and nuclear) to make any kind of substantive impact on today's energy production based on proven technologies.

3. This is why the Liberal Elite in concert with opportunistic investors like Al Gore and Kleiner, Perkins, Caulfield, and Byers (VC firm) are working to get the Federal Government and World Organizations to pass legislation (Cap and Trade) to force these technologies on the market with mandates despite their lack of competitiveness. They are also making huge investments from vehicles like the stimulus package to subsidize projects and investors.

Side Note: For investors like Gore and Kleiner this is the perfect storm if the government will insure their investments with taxpayer money while forcing the purchase of their products and technologies and at the same time prohibiting the production of more competitive products like oil, natural gas, clean coal, and even nuclear energy. This is a monstrous scam.

4. The Democratic Congress and Obama are blocking every effort to produce US based fossil fuels and nuclear energy while arguing that the US can not continue to be dependent on Middle East Oil and touting non-competitive technologies (solar and wind) and conservation as our only solutions. It is interesting that the Dems have included 100 Nuclear Power Plants in their Cap and Trade plan that they have no intenitions of building because they need the projected savings from nuclear to offset their investments in uneconomical "green stuff".

In summary, the Liberal Elite Opportunists are selling alarm about a problem that may not exist (Global Warming) caused by a demon (CO2 emissions)that is minuscule to create a worldwide panic that would result in dramatically damaging any national economy that participates in their solution (cap and trade) while raising energy costs and taxes to consumers and eliminating jobs. Additionally, for the US to not compete in the production of fossil fuels and nuclear energy is to provide the Middle East (70% on the world's known oil reserves and China (the Middle East's largest future customer) along with Russia huge economic advantages in this decade.

The Heritage Foundation’s Center for Data Analysis has found that cap and tax legislation would cost the average family-of-four almost $3,000 per year, cause 2.5 million net job losses by 2035, and a produce a cumulative gross domestic product (GDP) loss of $9.4 trillion between 2012 and 2035.

Bottom Line: Like most things in world economics the free markets will react and respond intelligently and appropriately if opportunistic tyrants keep their dirty hands off the process.

Any time an investor wants government subsidies, mandates, and control then taxpayer beware!!!! This means their investments are not sound under "ethical and honest" market conditions.

paste this into your browser:

Think About It,


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Gov. Hubbard Puts Cafe in Major Panic

On Halloween Saturday night Butch Jackson was sleeping soundly dreaming that the Hubbard Jags made a mid-season correction by moving to the Wishbone Formation, had turned around their season by going 8 and 0 after going 1-5 in the first half of the season, and were playing for the Texas State Class A Football Championship at Jerry Jones new stadium in Dallas, Texas. The Jags in this dream are behind but driving on the opponents 5 yard line with 0:30 to go and down by 4 points when D.B. raised all the windows in Butch's bedroom with a slam, and with a fierce wind, blew Butch's door closed with even a louder slamming noise.

But first, if you need a little memory jog, D.B. is the honorable and deceased Richard B. Hubbard, former Governor of the State of Texas in the 1920s and namesake of Hubbard City. In two earlier visits (see blogs on 10/17 and 10/20) D.B. had shared critical data with Butch in hopes of helping his favorite city avoid some historical "issues" by providing the following summary info about Hubbard's future:

1. In the year 2017 Barrack Hussein Obama was elected the UN's Chairman of Social Justice
2. Scott Riddle's cattle had been confiscated to clean up the World's atmosphere
3. Scott was on the waiting list to receive medical attention in Chicago
4. Pat Riddle had requested permission to write a check with the World Bank
5. Rush Limbaugh was the owner of the Waco Outdoor Hockey Team (they play year round)
6. Politics in the US were dominated by The Frankfurt School (A Worldwide Marxist Org)which used Economic and Cultural Minorities to gain control
7. The US was controlled by a Coalition Dedicated to "Spreading Others Wealth"

Butch: "What the hell? D.B. that better be you."

D.B.: "In person. What's happening? As if I didn't know."

Butch: "Before we get into the heavy stuff did the Jags win state in 2009?"

D.B.: "Don't know about the state thing, but I know their record was 1-9, so I would spect not."

Butch: "Unless I am still dreaming, tell me how Obama pulled off this Communist takeover of these United States?"

D.B.: "Communist? Butch, you Cafe guys are so politically offensive. Let's call it Social Justice."

Butch: "Justice, my ass. But go ahead, hit me with it."

D.B.: "In Obama's first 18 months, he with a Democratically controlled Congress, passed legislation to raise taxes on all producers of wealth by letting Bush's tax cuts expire and then hiding taxes in legislation with the government taking control of the Health Care System, the Energy System (called it Cap and Trade), Automotive (a gift from Bush), and the Financial System (also from Bush). This gained government control of about 50% of the US economy. Got it?"

Butch: "No way, the people would never let this happen. Are you kidding me?"

D.B.: "Well the folks did vote Obama in initially, and then did have their second thoughts. In fact the majority of Americans were against these takeovers, but Obama had the votes in Congress. Then, he made the big move to insure that he kept the votes. Obama and the Dems passed a Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act that gave amnesty to 18,000,000(that's with an M) illegal immigrants which also gave them voting rights. These votes insured a Democratic majority in 2010 and Obama's re-election in 2012. And of course, Obama then was elected to run the UN. Meanwhile, the US had signed several UN treaties like Comprehensive Climate Reform and The World Secular Freedom Act which gave the UN control of many US issues."

Butch: "What about Reid, Pelosi, Biden, Frank, and those guys?"

D.B.: "Interesting group of people. All four of these, including several others, were tried and convicted in 2013 of crimes against the state. They are all serving time in a prison named GITMO in a sister country, Cuba."

Butch: "So who was elected President in 2016?".

D.B.: "A new guy to politics named Jeremiah Wright who ran on the platform of 'Spread It Baby'."

Butch: "Is there anyway to stop this?"

D.B.: "Yes, but I gotta go now. See you soon. Whosh!!"

With that, Butch put on a clean "I was anti-Obama before it was cool" T shirt and headed for the Cafe.

Think about it,


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Folks Want to Opt Out of Not Eating Meat

Scott Riddle's front bumper did some damage to the side of the Hubbard City Cafe as he arrived on Tuesday. That will happen when you are a little hyper and you lock those brakes in a graveled parking lot. The sand and rocks just don't hold the tires on those big old trucks like they used to. O.K., maybe Scott was a little more than hyper. You decide.

Mr. Riddle's opening remark was, "In July, Obama said companies could make 80 million to 120 million flu vaccine doses by mid-October, and what do we have but 16.5 million doses so far. You know what? That's the best old skinny has performed on anything he has tried to do so far. And yet he wants us to think he can and should stop global warming while covering everybody with cost reduced health insurance as we keep our same plans and doctors and level of service."

For those of you being introduced to Scott for the first time, he is the local Hubbard City cattle baron and has been an insurance tycoon for about 50 years. So he takes both of these issues (climate and health care) real personal.

Scott thinks, except for Fox, you have to go to European papers to get the truth. He brought this article and read it to his cows on Tuesday from the London Times:

Climate chief Lord Stern: give up meat to save the planet

People will need to turn vegetarian if the world is to conquer climate change, according to a leading authority on global warming. Lord Stern of Brentford said: “Meat is a wasteful use of water and creates a lot of greenhouse gases. It puts enormous pressure on the world’s resources. A vegetarian diet is better.”

Lord Stern, the author of the influential 2006 Stern Review on the cost of tackling global warming, said that a successful deal at the Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen in December would lead to soaring costs for meat and other foods that generate large quantities of greenhouse gases.Lord Stern, a former chief economist of the World Bank and now I. G. Patel Professor of Economics at the London School of Economics, warned that British taxpayers would need to contribute about £3 billion a year by 2015 to help poor countries to cope with the inevitable impact of climate change.

He also issued a clear message to President Obama that he must attend the meeting in Copenhagen in person in order for an effective deal to be reached. US leadership, he said, was “desperately needed” to secure a deal.

UN figures suggest that meat production is responsible for about 18 per cent of global carbon emissions, including the destruction of forest land for cattle ranching and the production of animal feeds such as soy.

Well, as you might expect, this did not sit so well with the cows, who Scott is training in civil defense techniques, nor the steak and burger eaters at the Hubbard City Cafe (not that the cafe's burgers have a lot of beef in them).

While he was on a roll, Scott immediately launched into a description of Harry Reid's new 'opt out' health care plan, " the government run plan would be available on the first day that major provisions of Obamacare would take effect in 2013, and states would have until 2014 to pass legislation declining participation (opting out) in the program. In 17 states Democrats control both houses of the legislature and the state house. In another 24, Democrats control at least one legislative chamber or the governor’s mansion. That leaves a total of only 9 states where Republicans run the entire show — Texas, Utah, South Carolina, South Dakota, North Dakota, Missouri, Idaho, Florida, and Georgia. That means 41 states are all but guaranteed to have no choice but to endure the government run plan. What 'opt in' really means is that you are checked in, and if you don't leave by 2014 , you can never leave. The Feds will surely print money and offer it to states that 'opt in', and there will be no private insurance plans."

"That means Americans in 41 states are all but guaranteed to have no choice but to endure the the government run health plan. What opt out really means is: You will already be checked in, and if you don't get out by 2014, you will never leave because there will not be any place else to go. Then Obama will have the SINGLE PAYER PLAN that he really wants. Sneaky, huh? Not unless you are a complete idiot."

Scott was at his best on this day as he closed by quoting Tacitus: "The more corrupt the state, the more it legislates."

Think about it,


P. S. There is some concern at the Cafe that Gov. Hubbard has not appeared to Butch recently. Some have suggested that Butch quit drinking, while others have suggested that he drink more.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The Cafe Squares Off Against Dithering & General Electric

Butch Jackson had on an Obama T shirt this week that said, "I am not a racist. I don't like his white half either."

Joe Frank Dell came into the Cafe after watching the weekend talk shows raving about the attacks on Dick Cheney. His eruption went something like this, "Bush removed the Taliban from power in three weeks, captured or killed the lunatics, stabilized Afghanistan for seven years, and then launched a very successful surge in Iraq. This forced the Al Quaeda terrorists to retreat from Iraq back to Pakistan and Afghanistan. Meanwhile the Taliban who was routed has regained strength and are trying to take over the Afghan and Pakistani governments, again. Meanwhile, Obama runs for office by dumping on everything that has Bush written on it by calling Afghanistan the 'war of necessity' and the 'good war'. He then takes the Bush administration's plan for counter insurgency and sends troops to Afghanistan claiming he is committed to keeping them free from the Taliban, hunting down Bin Laden, and killing all Al Queda. And now, when his appointed General McChristal asked for additional troops and the chicken libs want to pull out, he is 'dithering'. And why? Because he says there is corruption in Afghanistan. Imagine that. Obama, the ACORN trainer, is appalled at corruption. Can you imagine dithering with George Patton because some north Afrcian country was corrupt during WWII?"

Oops, Billy Roy heard the term corruption, spilled his coffee, and took the floor, "Let's talk corruption. General Electric, parent company of Obama's favorite networks NBC and MSNBC, is supposedly a triple-A rated company and yet they were in line with their hand out for a $140B (with a B) bailout from we the taxpayers. Yet when Obama's salary Czar cut the pay of top execs bailed out by the government, GE's name was not mentioned with the other seven companies: Bank of America, American International Group, Citigroup, General Motors, GMAC, Chrysler, and Chrysler Financial."

"And this $140B is chump change when compared to Obama and GE's Global Warming scam. G.E. Chairman, Jeffrey Immelt, who has long insisted on doing business with Iran, is on the board of economic advisers for Obama. This guy brings shame to the legend of Jack Welch."

To the coffee drinkers dismay, Billy Roy took a news clipping from his pocket, "Timothy P. Carney, of The Examiner, has uncovered a secret GE Bailout packaged in Obama’s budget. The bailout is labeled 'climate revenues' and it totals $646 billion (with a B) over eight years. Earlier, Immelt presented hints of the money in a letter to shareholders describing the Obama administration as a profitable 'financier' and 'key partner' in regards to General Electric’s health. Immelt continued to assure shareholders in his letter that current events present an 'opportunity of a lifetime', because 'capitalism will be ‘reset'."

"Can you imagine these idiots 'resetting capitalism?" Billy Roy had to pause for breath, probably because of excessive inhalation of CO2 at this point.

Somewhat recovered he continues,"The current event Immelt speaks of in his letter is the cap and trade program in the budget that taxes industrial carbon output. Immelt continued to write, 'the interaction between government and business will change forever. In a reset economy, the government will be a regulator; and also an industry policy champion, a financier, and a key partner.' As other companies pay dearly for their production of CO2, GE is in bed with Obama to collect with their new venture, Greenhouse Gas Services. It's no wonder NBC goes out of its way to protect Obama. GE will make billions as a government partner in 'the new economy.' GE will control the green energy sector including the smart grid, and the government is subsidizing them, while GE provides favorable coverage through Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, and the rest of the goons on NBC. GE sells capitalism out for a deal with the devil. Once again it's proven, green is not about saving the earth. It's about the transition of power in the United States to the socialists and commies."

The only good thing about this according to Billy Roy, "at least this will piss Algore off unless he is getting his cut. And Obama hates the Chamber of Commerce because he would rather deal directly with companies like G.E without having to pay off the middle men. No sh-t!"

Well, since Billy Roy was mostly alone by now, things pretty much broke up at the Hubbard City Cafe.

The sad part is I think there is better than a 90% chance that our elected leader Obama is reading that teleprompter so fast, between date nights, that his handlers haven't explained any of this to him. Well, maybe Gov. Hubbard can help us understand how we got here and where we go from here on his next visit. Butch has been sleeping in late waiting for our esteemed advisor to reappear.

Think about it,


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Governor Hubbard: He's Back

Billy Roy came into the Cafe this week with his "Dick Cheney Rules" tee shirt and a huge smile. He pulled the Waco Tribune out of his pocket and flipped to a middle page of the front section to read a tiny article including the following: "They asked us not to announce our findings publicly, and we agreed, giving them the benefit of our work and the benefit of the doubt," Cheney said.

Cheney's comments countered a recent claim by White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel that the Obama administration had to form an Afghan war strategy from scratch because the Bush administration hadn't asked any key questions about the war and left it "adrift."

Billy Roy says "no one kicks b-- nor takes names like Dick."

Meanwhile, the long awaited second coming of Gov. Richard B. Hubbard, a.k.a. DB, has happened. Butch Jackson, local philosopher and sole supporter of Kinky Friedman for President in 1987 (which wasn't even an election year), was whiter than a central Texas cloud in July when he reported to the folks at the Cafe this week. It appears Butch isn't completely comfortable talking to ghosts quite yet.

It seems that the Governor actually was able to shake Butch awake with some heavy duty door slamming (not an easy task) on Tuesday night. The exchange went something like this:

Butch: "Whoa, D.B. easy on the door, is that you?"

D.B.: "The one and only. How's my Hubbard City doing?"?

Butch: "Well, your forecast of the future in 2011 really scared the folks (see 10/17/2009 blog), but there are those who think I made it all up. Course with the Hubbard Jags at 1-4, people are so irritable they are really critical of big thinkers like myself."

D.B.: "They will come around once the season's over. Let's get to work. Let me tell you how this impending government takeover of the U.S. all got started. Back in the late 1800s a guy named Karl Marx came up with this political scheme (by the way all politics are about Power and Control) to get the masses of people to revolt by focusing on Economic issues. That would be the 'spreading the wealth around/redistribution of wealth' to the masses. This movement was followed in later years by people like Lenin, Engels, Stalin, Mao, Castro, and Chavez. Most of these guys became fascists and slaughtered more people in the name of helping the masses than any other movements in history. Are you with me?"

Butch: "Nothing new here, D.B. So far I could write the book."

D.B. "It's coming. In the 1920's these Socialists formed the Institute of Social Research, later known as the Frankfurt School, which moved to Europe during the war, and then came back to Columbia University (where your current President went to school during his drug period). The Frankfurt group felt the socialist movement must be worldwide including wealthy nations like the U.S. The U.S. people resisted because they were 'blinded' by their economic success, so the Socialists launched a Cultural movement to complement the Economic movement. Butch, Butch, wake up, damn it."

Butch: "Sorry D.B., it won't happen again, but I had a hard day making protest signs that said 'Obama: The Buck Starts Here'."

D.B: "I like it. O.K., the Cultural Movement was based on identifying or creating so called 'minority groups' and basically making them victims of the Old Dead White Christian Men (ODWCM) that we talked about last time --men like Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Reagan, Churchill, etc."

Butch: "And who are these victim groups?"

D.B.: "Come on, Butch, think. We can start with Racial Groups like Blacks (and now Hispanics) and then once we include feminists, homosexuals, labor unions, illegal drug users, abortionists, students, trial lawyers, atheists, etc. we have a pretty good voting constituency. All out for personal gain and blaming the ODWCMs for their plights. So basically the socialists combined economic and cultural forces under the slogan of Social Justice. This is what your Scott Riddle would call an 'idiot pitch'."

Butch: "Where does Obama come in?"

D.B.: "I am running out of my allotted 30 minutes so I will leave you with a couple of recent news articles to make my point on how the current regime are getting people to sign on to the stealth socialist movement by buying votes using Cultural Issues. We will talk about Obama when I come back. Meanwhile hang in there. I'll be back!"

Headlines: Feds to Issue New Medical Marijuana PolicyMonday, October 19, 2009 3:40

WASHINGTON -- Federal drug agents won't pursue pot-smoking patients or their sanctioned suppliers in states that allow medical marijuana, under new legal guidelines to be issued Monday by the Obama administration.

Headlines: Obama to End "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Published: October 10, 2009
WASHINGTON — President Obama on Saturday renewed his vow to allow gay men and lesbians to serve openly in the military. “I will end ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ ” Mr. Obama told an audience of nearly 3,000 people at a fund-raising dinner for the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest gay advocacy group. “That is my commitment to you

Think About It,


Monday, October 19, 2009

Circle Flies Swarming Obama's War Counsel

Aunt Martha had coffee while snooping at the Hubbard City Drug Store and observed the following: Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." Sue got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my Margarita...... "She's such a smart alec" . . .

Everyone back way up because Billy Roy is ripped, "Can you believe the latest? Chairman Obama and his alleged War Counsel are holding up a decision on supporting General McChrystal's request for troops in Afghanistan, 'The Good War', until they can assess the strength of the Afghan government. And who is in Kabul assessing the government but our old Viet Nam 'hero', John (lie like a dog) Kerry. Remember the one that lied to Congress about how he saw our troops burn and pillage villages in Nam. The one who had so much support from his fellow swift boat comrades."

"What a bunch of horse s--t. I'll bet the circle flies are power swarming the oval office. Hell, the Taliban has already done their assessment of the strength of our Obama government, and they went on the attack."

"Meanwhile our troops are undermanned in Obama's 'essential' Afghan war. Don't you just love the liberal elites. We go into Iraq and run Al Qaeda out, and the libs ask what are we doing there when the bad guys are in Afghanistan? We go into Afghanistan and run them out, and the libs ask why are we there? The truth is the Chicken Libs run from conflict faster than a French soldier with a white flag. This girlie boy Obama brings back memories of Billy Boy Clinton. He is more interested in doing away with any restrictions on gays in the military so that they can dance with each other than in supporting real soldiers doing real things to find, kill, and capture real murdering radical Muslim terrorists."

B.M. paused to get a deep breath, "I am sick of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer, Russ Feingold, Pat Leahy, Barack Obama, Chuck Schumer, and the Hollywood Leftist morons: Every time they stand in front of television cameras and broadcast to the Islamic Nazis that we went to war because our President lied, that the war is wrong and our Soldiers are torturers, that we should leave Iraq, they give the Islamic butchers - the same ones that tortured and mutilated American Soldiers - cause to think that we'll run away again, and all they have to do is hang on a little longer. It is certain that we will have to defeat the Islamic jihadists. Better to do it now on their turf (Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Iran), than later in downtown Hubbard."

Meanwhile, the Cafe is anxiously awaiting another visit by Govenor Hubbard, honorable and deceased advisor to Butch Jackson (see 10/17 post).

Think about it,


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Spooky Visit From the Honorable and Deceased Governor Hubbard

Butch Jackson, fact checker and philosopher of local renown, brought a really wild tale to the Cafe this past week. It seems Butch claims that he was awakened by a ghostly figure standing above his bed in the middle of the night. First you need to know a little history. Hubbard was once named Slap Out for a store whose owner apparently had trouble keeping his shelves stocked.

The community’s name, Slap Out, stuck until 1881 when a rail depot (The Cottonbelt Railroad) was opened and the town was officially founded as Hubbard (I was just a young kid at the time). The town was named for former Texas governor Richard B. Hubbard, who was present at the depot dedication.

Well it seems the dialogue with this ghostly figure went something like this.

Butch: " Whoa, who are you?"

Ghost: "I am the honorable, and deceased, Governor of Texas, Richard B. Hubbard. I am one of the many 'old dead white men' that today's politically correct Marxists hate. Just call me D.B."

Butch: "Why are you in my bedroom?"

D.B.: "I am on a mission from God. Being deceased I can obviously see into the future. I am fond of Hubbard and love to listen in on your discussions at the Hubbard City Cafe. I am here to warn you about things in your future that could have a negative effect on my namesake, Hubbard City."

Butch: "Why me?"

D.B.: "Because you are a man who is accurate to a fault, a great philosopher, and have at least a 50/50 chance of getting things somewhat right."

Butch? "So what's in our future that we need to know?"

D.B.: "Let's start with the year 2017. Barack Hussein Obama was just elected to be the Secretary General of the United Nations, except he has already changed the title to the World Chairman of Social Justice. U.N. trucks have just confiscated Scott Riddle's cows under the World Clean Air and Climate Change Law. Scott tried to track them but of course he was limited to a ten mile chase because he ran out of World Fuel Ration Slips."

Butch: "What the hell? That stuff just ain't right."

D.B.: "I don't have all night, let me finish. Scott took this pretty hard and took on some real severe chest pains. He is probably O.K. but we won't really know until he sees the doctor sometime next year in Chicago. Meanwhile, Scott's wife Pat, is appealing to the Mayor of Hubbard, Hector Raul Chavez, who is vacationing in Havana until the Spring ice thaw. It doesn't look good for Scott because, as you know, it was reported that he used the 'N' word in the Drug Store back in 1950 when he was a well known right wing radical in grade school and world class slingshot marksman. Of course, not getting into the Chicago Hospital may be a good thing, because no one from Hubbard has ever returned from that place yet."

Butch: "Well, at least Scott has put his money away. I'll bet he and the family won't starve."

D.B.: "Maybe, Pat has applied for a Check Writing Voucher which is under consideration by the office of the President of the World Bank, Jesse Jackson Jr. the 5th, who is headquartered in Harlem, N.Y. Of course, Jesse is currently vacationing in South Africa until the big thaw is expected in year 2020."

Butch: "How the hell did all this happen? Also, I just know Sweet Lou Tekell is going to want to know if Rush Limbaugh ever bought an NFL team?"

D.B.: "How this happened is a short story, but I have to run since God has only been allocated by Chairman Obama a time slot between 3:00 and 3:30 AM for any non-Muslim religious missions. We don't get the 24 hour non-stop radio time that Rush gets to advertise his Waco Rednecks outdoor ice hockey team. I don't know anything about the NFL. To quote an old dead white man who was governor of Caleeefornia, I'll be back."

Wow, as you might expect the folks are real stirred up about this report from Butch. Billy Roy say's,"no wonder The Methodist Church of Hubbard was told to stop sending their annual Christmas Tree Ornament to the White House because they will not use any 'religious' decorations this year on the Obamatree which they call a 'Holiday (not Christmas) Tree'."

This caused Scotty Andersen to use an overly used slogan, "well always remember, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. Remember the two things Bill Clinton and Obama have in common is that both of their fathers were bigamist." Of course, nobody at the Cafe has any idea what Scotty means by this except that it does sound somewhat profound.

Think about it,


Sunday, October 11, 2009

Radical Speech Led By a Hubbard Patriot

This is an "on the ground, first hand" report from Hubbard, Texas.

Kittye Cox Bolen reminds me of Joanne Herring, the heroine in the book and movie, "Charlie Wilson's War". If Kittye ever grew to over 5 feet tall, it wasn't by very much. She has outlived two husbands, the last of which was in the "oil bizness". Kittye's mom was a wonderful third grade school teacher in Hubbard, Texas, and her brother was one of the best "pulling guards" that ever played football at Hubbard High School.

This Saturday Kittye was chairing the 50th Anniversary of her graduating class of 1959 at the Hubbard High School reunion. As is the tradition several other classes, mine included, crashed their party. Kittye is a faithful follower and contributor to this blog and that tells you a little about her political leanings. In her closing comments she presented a plague with the names of those in her class that are deceased, and then recognized each member of her class who had served this country in the military.

Kittye's voice began to break a little, and I thought, "uh oh, now she is going to start spouting that right wing, conspiratorial, neo-Nazis, Rush Limbaugh indoctrinating, conservative stuff." And indeed, she actually had everyone stand, face the wall, and put their hands over their hearts to repeat after her in a loud and clear voice:

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,
And to the Republic for which it stands.
One Nation, under God, indivisible,
With Liberty, and Justice, for All."

Sure enough on that wall was a huge American flag, however, nothing stood taller this day in that room than Kittye Cox Bolen.

As our Nation faces the most serious challenges that we have faced in our lifetimes, I would encourage each of us to focus on the words highlighted in this pledge.

Think about it,


Friday, October 9, 2009

Nobel Peace Prize Winners: What are they up to?

As this post goes to press the local newspaper had three headlines:




I will let you mull on this while I join the coffee drinkers this PM for their response to today's news.


Long time readers of this blog have followed closely the debate between the coffee drinkers at the Hubbard City Drug Store (the Libs) and Scott Riddle, local cattle baron. As you recall the Libs feel that excess gas aimed by Scott's cows at downtown Hubbard has caused severe warming on a global scale in both of the months of July and August for the past "re-callable" years.

Well the debate escalated to a Town Hall Meeting last week in which local unpaid consultant, D.W. Castellaw, gave the following presentation after having done no research on the subject whatsoever, however, D. W. did live in California at one time for several years.

"First let me say there are those who say the earth is doomed by 'Global Warming' which is clearly caused by excessive CO2 emissions which are caused by excessive energy consumption which is caused by the increase in the world's standard of living. These doomsayers argue the only thing that will save mankind is the 'greening' of he world by reducing our standard of living at a very high cost. This greening process will also make an elite group of people very rich (Algore, W. J. Clinton, T. Boone Pickens, and other recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize and friends). This greening will take place from proposed legislation called 'Cap and Trade'."

"Bottom line, these global warmers are proposing an expensive solution to an unproven problem. Meanwhile, anyone that questions their plan is accused of being so stupid they still believe the earth is flat."

Mr. Castellaw continued, "Scientists have been studying the process of temperature change for years including factors such as sunspot activity, the Earth's tilt, and elliptical orbit around the sun, the Earth's albedo, atmospheric heat retention, ocean current cycles, and land mass distribution. The question of global climate change should be left to scientists and not to Nobel Peace Prize winners who are in collusion with the United Nations to destroy the United States of America and make an elite group of slimy people a lot of money. Certainly as we better understand the causes we know that controlling human-caused CO2 is not the answer and in fact may be the biggest scam perpetrated on mankind in all of history."

As Mr. Castellaw concluded his remarks Billy Roy Mitcham, local C&W singing star and philosopher specializing on local issues, turned to the only two people who had not already left during the presentation and said, "why the hell don't we just point Riddle's cows the other direction?"

Think about CAP and TRADE,