Monday, April 5, 2010

Maxine Calls for Taxpayer Takeover

Mom, with the help of her loyal son, completed her Federal Tax Return this weekend, and for the first time in her adult life, put a big Zero on the bottom line. Yep, Mom owes no taxes this year what with low interest rates on savings and such. Interestingly she wasn't all that happy about joining the ranks of those who don't pay taxes. "I think it is time for taxpayers to take a play out of the Liberals playbook and propose COMPREHENSIVE VOTER REFORM," launched Mom's rare opening statement on the floor of the Hubbard City Cafe.

"Here is my idea", she proceeded in rare form. "The Liberals have their Comprehensive Health Care Law which basically puts the Federal Government in charge of determining who gets what medical care, at what price, and who pays for it. Basically it is just another takeover program to transfer hard earned assets from taxpayers to non-taxpayers. They call it redistribution as if we don't know what they are doing."

"Now they want to pass Comprehensive Energy Reform to boost Algore and his pals clean energy investments while passing a massive tax increase on everyone else. Then, of course, they will follow with Comprehensive Immigration Reform to try to put 15-30 million illegals on the entitlement roles to buy votes to make up for all the votes Obama is losing now that the silly voters understand his Socialist takeover plans. In fact "Comprehensive Reform" appears to be a code term for TAKEOVER."

"Enough of my negativity. Let me make a positive suggestion. Why don't we pass COMPREHENSIVE VOTER REFORM? It would be simple and could be described on one page. Basically a voter gets one vote for every one dollar paid in taxes. You pay $10,000 and you get 10,000 votes. You pay no taxes, you get no votes. Why should you get a vote on how our government should spend our money if you don't contribute to the process. In fact, as I understand it, we are very close to having more freeloaders paying no taxes than taxpayers."

Butch was the first to respond, "Gosh, sounds awfully business like. People with no stock in Microsoft don't get the same voting power as Bill Gates, do they? Imagine what kind of company Berkshire Hathaway would be if Warren Buffett just got one vote. Those companies would probably be run by bureaucrats, losing tons of money, producing lousy products, and running huge deficits. In fact if they could print their own money they would be just like the Federal Government now that I think of it. But, Maxine, wouldn't this be a TAKEOVER?"

"Damned right it would. It would be a TAXPAYER TAKEOVER, you got problems with that, Butch," Mom came back uncharacteristically.

"No Mam," muttered Butch.

Billy Roy Michum usually reflects back to our founders on topics like these. "When you think really deep about it, it gets to the 'Taxation and Representation' thing that the first Tea Party was all about. Almost half of the people in the country are represented and not taxed today. The other half pay all the taxes and are 'under-represented'. What the Hell is that all about?"

Well, needless to say Maxine got her name written on the corner of the menu board in big blue letters for a "blue ribbon idea of some significant size".

Meanwhile Scott Riddle's family celebrated Easter with their newest edition, one year old Cooper. Cooper had his picture taken as the 5th generation representative with his Great Grandmother Pat, and then to top it off, he also had 5th generation attendees on the side of his Great Granddad Scott. He had his 93 year old Great Great Aunt and his 95 year old Great Great Grandmother at the event. With 40% of today's kids born out of wedlock, Cooper has a huge head start in this world with generations of family support.

Think about it,


P. S. I asked Great Great Grandmom Neuman if she was going to nap after lunch, and she said, "Nope, I don't nap. I'm too busy." My reply, "You go girl."


  1. Ah, the wisdom of "our" Maxine!

  2. Dang, I asked Frieda the same thing and got the same answer. I was a guest at the lunch, I am hoping to get adopted!