One of my college fraternity brothers sent me this letter which I shared with my Hubbard City Cafe coffee team:
A TRIP TO Costco
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think - I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff
an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
The folks at the cafe had the following questions and comments:
1. Just what do people do in one of those fraternities?
2. Were you in the same one as George Bush?
3. Which do you think is the best: Costco or Wall Mart?
4. The way these young people drive today with those cell phones in their ears, you got to be real careful stepping off curbs.
5. Boy, that Purina company has done really well, haven't they.
Think about eating healthy,