Thursday, August 20, 2009

Clunker Stuff Piling Up in Hubbard

Not only did the gloves come off this past week but the guns came off the racks in Hubbard over this "clunker" thing. It seems the folks at the drug store were suffering particularly bad one day from downtown global warming to the point that they started calling Scott Riddle's cows "clunkers". If you recall from previous blogs (5/9/09), Scott's cows are believed to be the major cause of global warming in downtown Hubbard (mostly around the drug store where the liberals have coffee) because of their excessive expulsion of gas into Hubbard's surrounding atmosphere. Well, this may be the first time in Hubbard history that anyone called another man's cows bad names.

Now the timing could not have been worse for this name calling because of an email that Butch Jackson, local philosopher and semi-internet surfing expert, had that very day shared with the Conservatives at the Hubbard City Cafe. This email is reported below by Aunt Martha:

Democrats, realizing the success of the President's 'Cash For Clunkers' rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named:

"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this -- Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts. Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, members of private country clubs, people who live in condo towers and gated communities and any member of the Republican Party . Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, brussel sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies. All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.Remember you heard it here first!

Well you see my point about the timing of connecting clunkers to cows to global warming at the drug store while clunkers were being connected to health care and codgers at the City Cafe. And this all came only weeks after the clunker scam had closed down the neighboring City of Whiskey Flats (see 8/06/09 blog).

It's like Billy Roy Michum says, "this Obama crap sure piles up high, doesn't it?"

Meanwhile the Moderates, who take their coffee at the Dairy Queen, stayed above the fray since they could see both sides, and since nobody likes them anyway.

Think about it,


P. S. Scott Riddle, since this blog went to press, has attempted to trade a couple of cows in for pick up trucks hoping to get the $4,500 clunker price. This writer will report the results in 2011 when Washington completes the processing of his clunker trade in request.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Jim, I haven't seen you in years, but when I found your blog by chance, I remembered you fondly. You are as sharp as ever! This blog is as good as the Greater Tuna series...