Friday, November 12, 2010

Butch's Big Dream About Old Crazy Noah Rings True in 2010

When word gets around Hubbard that Butch Jackson has had another big dream it is beginning to make it hard to get a chair at coffee time, that being 3:00 PM everyday but Sunday.  This week Butch came in with a really big one.

Here it goes, "This dream puts me right in the middle of a big deal going on several hundred years BC (that being 'before Christ' for those of you guys who live on both coasts). It seems there is this guy named Algore  who has surrounded himself with the most famous scientists of the era, and some local venture capitalists, of the times, who all have become somewhat interested in building personal wealth. Algore is going from village to village scaring women, children, and local dimwits about the evils of water. Seems Algore believes that the middle eastern area of the earth could be threatened by flood if evil water wells got out of control with excessive flooding to the extent that the world, as Algore and scientist knew it, could be destroyed. Algore's speeches were accompanied by scrolls and parchments depicting hand drawn graphics of mostly little children and pretty women drowning in pools of water."

Billy Roy has had enough, "Stop right there, Butch. You really dreamed this stuff? Even if you didn't the story is going to have to pick up a little to keep me awake still being on my happy pills to some extent due to my recovering back surgery of course."

"It more than picks up, BM. Check this out. Algore and friends come with big time reform solutions. They call it 'Bring Your Cup and Trade'. They set up something they call exchanges at each water well. If one lady at the well doesn't fill up her cup she must buy a credit for the water she didn't use from another lady who did use her water. This intent was to use the water up so it wouldn't flood.  Of course Algore gets a commission for handling the transaction as he says he is also measuring the water to keep the earth from flooding."

"I bet the water credits were pretty cheap, how did they make much money doing this," came back BM, always a little skeptical of Butch's stories for a number of really good reasons.

"There is way more," smiled Butch, giving the audience a hint that BM had really opened this conversation up in a way that might not be so good being some folks needed to get back to work. "Algore and friends also declared that most camels and donkeys don't drink enough water. They get the local Romans to declare that all such animals must be bought in the future from Algore who had a way more expensive set of vehicles, but claims they drink more water which will keep the earth from flooding.  They name their new animal breeds, The Californians.  Algore also advertises that their poop doesn't stink.  He doesn't stop there.   Algore also gets some regulations passed that call for new cups that have holes in the bottom spilling water and a bunch of other stuff like that. So Algore and buddies not only save the world from flooding but make a s__t pot full of money as well."

Sweet Lou feel hook line and sinker for the pause that Butch put in at this point, "Sad story Butch. That stuff just don't seem right to me."

"Not over, Lou. This local boat dealer known as Old Crazy Noah, who is supported by someone named God, who opposes folks like the venture capitalists, shows up in the nick of time. Seems he just builds this great big boat even though Algore has already saved the world from flooding."

BM is really tugging at his hat and starts jingling his truck keys, "Close it down Butch. It looks like it might take a weird turn here if you aren't somewhat careful with your memory."

"Winding down, BM. Seems a rain comes from the sky, not the water wells, for 40 days and most of those nights, and slap dab drowns everyone except this guy Noah, his friends, family, and favorite animals. These animal breeds become known as Texas Longhorns, Shorthorns, and of course, omething called Polled.  Kinda restarts the whole world over without the venture capitalists, scientists, and government regulators."

"And what about Algore," Mom had to ask.

"Oh rumor has it he is living in South America some place under another name and is running drugs into Mexico."

This writer just wonders out loud if maybe Butch's dream wasn't influenced by the fact that when the Republicans won back the House putting a damper on CAP AND TRADE that the price of carbon credits being sold on the Chicago Exchange went from $7 a ton to 10 cents a ton shutting the exchange down. Just maybe the safety of our World is still in the hands of God instead of the Algores, venture capitalists, scientists, and government regulators.

Think about it,


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