A mysterious friend of Billy Roy has privy to the President's Little Red Phone:
Date: August, 2010
Caller: Mr. President, this is Mitch Rapp, special agent with the CIA. Leon Panetta wanted me to call you and let you know we have credible sources who know where Osama bin Laden is living.
Callee: OK, Mitch. Now jog my memory, who is this Been Laaden guy?
Caller: Mr. President, he is the mastermind behind the 9ll Twin Towers terrorist attack as well at the Pentagon and the one in Pennsylvania. You remember the airplane thing.
Callee: Oh, yeah, of course. Well how can I help you, Mitch?
Caller: Sir, Mr. Panetta would like some guidance on how to handle this situation. bin Laden is in a compound in Pakistan.
Callee: Well, I'll be damned. Mitch, why don't you give my Attorney General, Erich Holder, a call. He has asked me not to get involved in this terrorist stuff (we don't like to use that word) without going through him.
I don't have Erich's number but Leon probably does. Good talking with you and good luck on this Been Luuten thing.
Date: September, 2011.
Caller: Mr. President, this is Erich Holder, your Attorney General.
Callee: Sure, Erich, I remember. What's up?
Caller: Mr. President, Panetta over at the CIA is driving me crazy about this bin Laden thing in Pakistan. I have strongly suggested that Panetta turn this over to the FBI so that we can take this guy into custody, read him his Miranda rights, lawyer him up (I have a good friend out in Hollywood who would love to handle this one. You know the young guy that worked with OJ). We can hold a great trial in either Vegas or New York City. Leon says that some hot shit guy name Mitch Rapp is pushing back and causing problems.
Callee: Look Erich, Axelrod wants me to start my re-election campaign in the next few months, and he doesn't want anything that would make waves. Tell Panetta to sit on it until he hears from Axelrod. By the way do you have Axel's number? I'll call and let him know.
Caller: Better let me do that Mr. President. We will get back to you if we need to.
Date: April 30, 2011
Caller: Mr. President, this is David Axelrod, your campaign manager.
Callee: David, great to hear from you. Can I move back to Chicago yet?
Caller: Not yet, Mr. President, and I have other people on the call. We have a situation. Leon Panetta, who runs the CIA (you know the spook thing), and Erich Holder, Attorney General (you know the brother that is like the country's top lawyer). They are on the line with me now.
Callee: Hi, guys. I love these calls with people in all kinds of different locations, and yet we are all connected by telephone lines. Way cool! I wish Michelle was here.
Panetta: Mr. President, this is Leon. I've got a real stud guy that works for me named Mitch Rapp. He talked to you last August about this bin Laden guy that we have found in Pakistan as a result of George Bush's torturing prisoners, but I don't want to get into that, and hope Erich doesn't either. Rapp has threatened to go to the press and tell them we have found bin Laden. He will do that if we don't let him go in and take him out (whatever that means). This would be a horrible thing if the press got it, and, David (again your campaign manager), would shit a brick if this happened. So I am going to give Rapp your specific orders to go in and place this bin Laden guy under arrests.
Holder: I am OK with that as long as you bring him to directly to me.
Axelrod: I am OK under two conditions. One if it is successful, Rapp backs us in saying it was all planned by the President. Two if it is a failure, I want it blamed on the Israelis.
Panetta: Got it. Mr. President, do I have your orders? Mr. President? Mr. President, are you there?
Holder: The Bulls playoff game just started. I think we've lost him.
May 1, 2011
Caller: Mr. President, this is Leon Panetta.
Callee: Hey, Leon, this is Smokin Joe Biden. I've got phone duty. This is so cool. It's never rung before.
Caller: I have a situation and need the President.
Callee: Won't happen. He's on the golf course. Just made the turn at the 9th hole. One of the boys called and said he had his best round ever going. A 51, without penalty strokes of course, and with a few gimmie puts, but who is counting, right? You want me to get Michelle or Valery or is it that important?
Caller. Shut up Joe, and listen. Get the President off the golf course and send him to my office. Make him change clothes because we have a photo op. He and some other people are going to watch Mitch Rapp and some Navy Seals in a key mission in Pakistan. Tell the President this is not, I repeat, not a speaking part. It is cameo. Also, no refreshments will be served so have him grab a burger or some ribs on the way over. Also, have him come in with his serious look. You know the one I'm talking about?
Callee: Cool, hey, is this Rapp dude a Hip Hop guy are something? If he is, I might tag along.
Caller: CLICK. DIALTOONNEEEEEE.
The rest is history,
Think about it and sleep well tonight,