Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Why I Am Buying Holiday Inn Stock

A good friend of mine that runs auto dealerships just sent me the following good news:

Cash for Clunkers
The POSITIVE results:
It’s taken thousands of Obama bumper stickers off the road...

Joe Frank Dell (all-Hubbard football star in the early 50's) says he had a distant cousin (we all have em) and fifty-one years ago, Howie Joe Dell, a rural Prairie Hill man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Howie a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Howie for 51 years.

Recently another friend of mine here in Austin heard about one of my Mom's friends who coffees at the Hubbard City Cafe and has recently retired and moved into the Hubbard City Motel. This got my Austin friend, a computer guy, thinking and he has come back with a great idea built on unflappable logic for a retirement plan for us all. He is a loyal follower of this blog and asked me to share this with the folks at the Cafe.

To: The Folks at the Hubbard City Cafe

From: A Friend of Mine in Austin By Way of My Blog


Say no to the coming Obama takeover of Nursing Homes (right after Health Care). Instead, we are checking into the Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any cafe we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a spa , swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient. There is a city bus stop out front if Obama takes away your car, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus (even from DFW) and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up. (Let's try to keep the surplus manageable.)

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn , or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii ? They have a Holiday Inn there too. T V broken ? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So, when we reach that golden age,
We'll face it with a grin.
Just forward all our email,
To our friendly Holiday Inn.

Since the City of Hubbard is on both the Stimulation and Bail Out Request Lists to receive a Mass Transit Bus System and an Airport, all we will need is to have the Holiday Inn buy out the Hubbard City Motel and we are in business. Even the Liberal Elites at the Hubbard City Drug Store will go for this plan.

Meanwhile, the Moderates at the Dairy Queen will more than likely straddle the fence but nobody likes them nor cares, anyway (both of them still have their John McCain bumper stickers on their mid-sized cars).

Think about it,


P. S. Since the price of Holiday Inn Stock is going to explode let's externally spread the word as not to be accused of insider trading and all that stuff.

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