Billy Roy Mitcham says he walked into a new very high-tech bar while attending a Cowboy game in the new stadium last week. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot in a Cowboy uniform.
The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"
Billy Roy thought a moment then replied, "A Jack Daniels and coke."
The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best mixed drink BM had ever had.
The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"
BM answered "oh, about 164."
The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs', etc.......
Billy was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Margarita please."
Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ, sir?"
This time BM answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.
Bill had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool. Again a Rum and Coke, and the question, "What is your IQ?"??
This time in his best Hubbard drawl "Uh..... bout 50".
The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,
"A-r-e y-o-u p-e-o-p-l-e s-t-i-l-l h-a-p-p-y w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A” ?
The guys at the Cafe say their favorite pastimes are golf and sex because you don't have to be good at either one of them to have fun.
Think about it,
Jim
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A Good Old American Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!
I am honored to have been asked to speak at THE AMERICA SUPPORTS YOU FREEDOM WALK in Hubbard, Texas on September 11. This week I received this note from local resident and patriot, Donna Anderson.
Dear Jim,
I thought I would send this true story to you to get your juices flowing
for our September 11 Memorial Celebration. I think it will also warm your
heart. Here it is:
The Budweiser Story
How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September, 2001...
Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield , California.
A Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town
named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business to find the two Arabs, who owned the business, whooping and hollering to show their approval and support of this treacherous attack.
The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event! He didn't feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss asked him,
'Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item
our beverage company sells there? We'll never deliver to them again.'
The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face.
He told them never to bother to call for a delivery again. Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice for that community.
Just letting you know how Kern County handled this situation. And Now The Rest Of The Story: It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man are neighbors. Bud called Pepsi and told him. Pepsi called his boss who told him to pull all Pepsi products as well!!! That would include Frito Lay, etc. Furthermore, word spread and all vendors followed suit!
At last report, on June 26, 2009, Fareed Katib closed the store and filed bankruptcy! Good old American Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!
If you can read this.....Thank a teacher...
If you are reading it in English....THANK A SOLDIER!!!
Jim, see you on the 11th and God Bless America,
Donna Anderson
Contrast this story to the boycott our Liberal Elite friends are trying to organize against Whole Foods. These LibElites have an uncanny knack for always picking the wrong side.
Think about it and make your plans for Septmeber 11th,
Jim
Dear Jim,
I thought I would send this true story to you to get your juices flowing
for our September 11 Memorial Celebration. I think it will also warm your
heart. Here it is:
The Budweiser Story
How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September, 2001...
Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield , California.
A Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town
named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business to find the two Arabs, who owned the business, whooping and hollering to show their approval and support of this treacherous attack.
The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event! He didn't feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss asked him,
'Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item
our beverage company sells there? We'll never deliver to them again.'
The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face.
He told them never to bother to call for a delivery again. Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice for that community.
Just letting you know how Kern County handled this situation. And Now The Rest Of The Story: It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man are neighbors. Bud called Pepsi and told him. Pepsi called his boss who told him to pull all Pepsi products as well!!! That would include Frito Lay, etc. Furthermore, word spread and all vendors followed suit!
At last report, on June 26, 2009, Fareed Katib closed the store and filed bankruptcy! Good old American Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!
If you can read this.....Thank a teacher...
If you are reading it in English....THANK A SOLDIER!!!
Jim, see you on the 11th and God Bless America,
Donna Anderson
Contrast this story to the boycott our Liberal Elite friends are trying to organize against Whole Foods. These LibElites have an uncanny knack for always picking the wrong side.
Think about it and make your plans for Septmeber 11th,
Jim
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Cafe Declares War on Terrorists, Again
This past weekend I saw signs around Hubbard that said "Welcome Home Josh", along with yellow ribbons tied to telephone poles and trees all around town. Josh has returned from serving in the Middle East in a WAR against Islamic Terrorism. Hubbard residents are proud of their Josh and of their military.
That same weekend I was greeted with headlines of our Chief Law Enforcement Officer and Attorney General, Eric Holder, assigning a Special Prosecutor to investigate the CIA interrogation of captured terrorist. The same CIA that has already been investigated for the same interrogations of the same terrorist and found innocent by independent prosecutors.
The folks at the cafe asked local Central Texas Attorney and former point guard, J. P. Legal, to explain: "It seems that as we put our young people in danger in the Middle East that our Narcissistic Leader Obama and his administration (including trial lawyers) are playing politics by treating the enemy as we would American citizens who are suspected of violating American laws. A terrorists is not a criminal nor an American citizen and this should not be treated as a run-of-the-mill Law Enforcement problem with Miranda rights and all the other protections that go with citizenry."
Billy Roy Mitcham, a big George C. Scott fan, then pulled a piece of paper from his billfold and jumped into the conversation with a very unedited version, as you will see, of the following famous speech:
"America is at WAR with Islamic terrorism. America has always won wars when they are led by warriors, e.g. George Patton, who told his troops the following,
'When a man is lying in a shell hole, if he just stays there all day, a German will get to him eventually. The hell with that idea... My men don't dig foxholes. I don't want them to. Foxholes only slow up an offensive. Keep moving. And don't give the enemy time to dig one either.
We'll win this war, but we'll win it only by fighting and by showing the Germans that we've got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Huns by the bushel-f------g-basket. War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. Rip them up the belly. Shoot them in the guts... I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood.
The harder WE push, the more Germans we will kill. The more Germans we kill, the fewer of our men will be killed. Pushing means fewer casualties. I want you all to remember that'."
Billy Roy continued, "The CIA interrogators did not chop off the heads of captured terrorists, the way the terrorists did with our guys. They did not shove rubber balloons inside them and inflate them, as Hezbollah terrorists did to a CIA station chief in Beirut. They did not use Saddam Hussein's rape rooms, which he neglected to show off to Sean Penn or Dan Rather, when they paid their visits to him. All they really did was extract that extra "ounce of sweat" which saved gallons of blood around the world and poured a little water down their nasty noses."
Well, there you are. Billy Roy has spoken and my take away from the discussion at the Cafe is that we can coddle the terrorists, or we can push them. We coddled them for years until 9/11 happened. Now we have gone back to coddling them again. If we do coddle, the price we will pay will be measured in the blood of Americans. Those who focus on being humane to terrorists will be inhumane to free people all around the world.
Let's not send Josh and his comrades to the Middle East if this is not a WAR. Let Obama send Eric Holder and Hillary instead. Or better still, let Obama go over and read some teleprompter apologies to Osama's guys to show them how nice we really are, and maybe they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all and leave us alone.
Think about it and long live Dick Cheney.
Jim
That same weekend I was greeted with headlines of our Chief Law Enforcement Officer and Attorney General, Eric Holder, assigning a Special Prosecutor to investigate the CIA interrogation of captured terrorist. The same CIA that has already been investigated for the same interrogations of the same terrorist and found innocent by independent prosecutors.
The folks at the cafe asked local Central Texas Attorney and former point guard, J. P. Legal, to explain: "It seems that as we put our young people in danger in the Middle East that our Narcissistic Leader Obama and his administration (including trial lawyers) are playing politics by treating the enemy as we would American citizens who are suspected of violating American laws. A terrorists is not a criminal nor an American citizen and this should not be treated as a run-of-the-mill Law Enforcement problem with Miranda rights and all the other protections that go with citizenry."
Billy Roy Mitcham, a big George C. Scott fan, then pulled a piece of paper from his billfold and jumped into the conversation with a very unedited version, as you will see, of the following famous speech:
"America is at WAR with Islamic terrorism. America has always won wars when they are led by warriors, e.g. George Patton, who told his troops the following,
'When a man is lying in a shell hole, if he just stays there all day, a German will get to him eventually. The hell with that idea... My men don't dig foxholes. I don't want them to. Foxholes only slow up an offensive. Keep moving. And don't give the enemy time to dig one either.
We'll win this war, but we'll win it only by fighting and by showing the Germans that we've got more guts than they have; or ever will have. We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We're going to murder those lousy Huns by the bushel-f------g-basket. War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. Rip them up the belly. Shoot them in the guts... I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood.
The harder WE push, the more Germans we will kill. The more Germans we kill, the fewer of our men will be killed. Pushing means fewer casualties. I want you all to remember that'."
Billy Roy continued, "The CIA interrogators did not chop off the heads of captured terrorists, the way the terrorists did with our guys. They did not shove rubber balloons inside them and inflate them, as Hezbollah terrorists did to a CIA station chief in Beirut. They did not use Saddam Hussein's rape rooms, which he neglected to show off to Sean Penn or Dan Rather, when they paid their visits to him. All they really did was extract that extra "ounce of sweat" which saved gallons of blood around the world and poured a little water down their nasty noses."
Well, there you are. Billy Roy has spoken and my take away from the discussion at the Cafe is that we can coddle the terrorists, or we can push them. We coddled them for years until 9/11 happened. Now we have gone back to coddling them again. If we do coddle, the price we will pay will be measured in the blood of Americans. Those who focus on being humane to terrorists will be inhumane to free people all around the world.
Let's not send Josh and his comrades to the Middle East if this is not a WAR. Let Obama send Eric Holder and Hillary instead. Or better still, let Obama go over and read some teleprompter apologies to Osama's guys to show them how nice we really are, and maybe they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all and leave us alone.
Think about it and long live Dick Cheney.
Jim
Thursday, August 27, 2009
My Letter to the Cafe Regarding Sen. Kennedy
This post is different in that it does not come from the Hubbard City Cafe but is my message to my friends there. It concerns my personal opinion regarding the passing of Senator Ted Kennedy.
Dear Friends,
The acknowledged leader of the Liberal Elite ( including the Kennedys, Kerry, Obama, Clintons, Soros, Pelosi, etc.) who have taken over the Democratic Party passed away this week. While my prayers are with his family and for his soul, I do not celebrate his life.
As I read and hear people celebrating Senator Ted's Kennedy's life as one of a great American Hero and example for our youth, as well as for our future political leaders, these reports seem to fall into two camps. Both camps are urging us to support Obama's government takeover of health care because "we owe it" to Kennedy.
The first group feels it is not proper to comment on any personal "flaws" but to only mention his service to our country. And they do this more by describing his intentions to help the "little guy" than a discussion of specifics.
The second group takes this approach:
Kennedy Blazes Legislative Trail
"Although Kennedy's devoted foes might not wish to admit it, his character flaws did not prevent him from amassing one of the most impressive legislative records ever." They then list his accomplishments (actually a very small list for someone in office for 47 years) as I have done below. However, I have also added my personal comments under each claimed accomplishment
• He won passage of the Hart-Celler Act of 1965, which abolished the national-origin immigration quotas that had been in effect since the 1920s.
The results of which included flooding our cities with poor immigrants, dramatically harming our American culture and way of life, creating a welfare state, driving up our health costs and national debt, and severely increasing our crime rates. All of which Kennedy promised would not happen and all motivated by the Elite Liberals desire for votes and power at any costs.
• He played a key role in passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
Kennedy led legislation that goes way beyond Martin L. King’s desire of equality in using character as the measurement of a man instead of race. Kennedy has championed Affirmative Action and Reverse Discrimination. Forty years later the Black Community suffers from poverty, crime, drugs, poor schooling, and a destruction of the family (70% of blacks births are to single mothers). Again purely motivated to buy votes and achieve power.
• He helped shepherd Title IX through Congress in 1972, a major step in the battle against gender discrimination which precluded disparate educational funding based on gender.
No American has been more sexist in their mistreatment of women as evidenced by his treatment of his wife, Joan, his womanizing while drunk and under the influence of drugs, his support of his nephew, William Kennedy Smith, after he raped a young lady, and of course his actions which led to the death of Mary Jo Kopechne. Ted’s treatment of women came after watching the male chauvinistic actions of his two brothers highlighted by their “passing around” of Marilyn Monroe until her death. Again Ted did pass legislation to buy female votes.
• Other legislative accomplishments include the COBRA Act of 1985, the 1990 Americans With Disabilities Act, the Civil Rights Act of 1991, and the State Children's Health Insurance Program, which passed in 1997.
Ted’s lifetime goal is to Nationalize/Socialize Health Care for all but the Elite. If successful a Government run system will destroy the greatest health care system in the world. This will have no effect on those elites living in the Kennedy Compound
.• More recently, Kennedy negotiated compromises with President George W. Bush that led to passage of the No Child Left Behind Act of 2002.
Which the Dems now want to kill by passing all students and eliminating any educational standards. Has anyone heard Kennedy defend Bush's No Child Left Behind?
• A longtime advocate of amnesty for illegal immigrants, Kennedy co-sponsored the Immigration Reform Act of 2007, which failed following a grassroots backlash against lax U.S. border control policies.
Again anything to buy votes for the Liberal Elite. Success of passing Amnesty in the future by the likes of the Democratic Liberal Elite will do more damage to this Country than all of Teddie’s Other Follies Combined.
So that is the list of his legislative accomplishments that should make us overlook "the flaws".
As Billy Roy Micham says, "old Liberals never die, their life's work just continues to kill generations of taxpayers."
While we all have our flaws, we should be careful who we hold up as heroes. My heroes are the young soldiers in Iraq (who Ted Kennedy did not support), the firemen and police officers rushing into the Twin Towers, and the pilot who landed in the East River saving his passengers instead of fleeing the scene of a negligent crime as a young lady clawed at the car door to get out.
And now we are supposed to blindly sign on to Obama's Government takeover of Health Care because we owe it to Ted Kennedy.
This is only my personal opinion, but I don't think so.
Jim
Dear Friends,
The acknowledged leader of the Liberal Elite ( including the Kennedys, Kerry, Obama, Clintons, Soros, Pelosi, etc.) who have taken over the Democratic Party passed away this week. While my prayers are with his family and for his soul, I do not celebrate his life.
As I read and hear people celebrating Senator Ted's Kennedy's life as one of a great American Hero and example for our youth, as well as for our future political leaders, these reports seem to fall into two camps. Both camps are urging us to support Obama's government takeover of health care because "we owe it" to Kennedy.
The first group feels it is not proper to comment on any personal "flaws" but to only mention his service to our country. And they do this more by describing his intentions to help the "little guy" than a discussion of specifics.
The second group takes this approach:
Kennedy Blazes Legislative Trail
"Although Kennedy's devoted foes might not wish to admit it, his character flaws did not prevent him from amassing one of the most impressive legislative records ever." They then list his accomplishments (actually a very small list for someone in office for 47 years) as I have done below. However, I have also added my personal comments under each claimed accomplishment
• He won passage of the Hart-Celler Act of 1965, which abolished the national-origin immigration quotas that had been in effect since the 1920s.
The results of which included flooding our cities with poor immigrants, dramatically harming our American culture and way of life, creating a welfare state, driving up our health costs and national debt, and severely increasing our crime rates. All of which Kennedy promised would not happen and all motivated by the Elite Liberals desire for votes and power at any costs.
• He played a key role in passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
Kennedy led legislation that goes way beyond Martin L. King’s desire of equality in using character as the measurement of a man instead of race. Kennedy has championed Affirmative Action and Reverse Discrimination. Forty years later the Black Community suffers from poverty, crime, drugs, poor schooling, and a destruction of the family (70% of blacks births are to single mothers). Again purely motivated to buy votes and achieve power.
• He helped shepherd Title IX through Congress in 1972, a major step in the battle against gender discrimination which precluded disparate educational funding based on gender.
No American has been more sexist in their mistreatment of women as evidenced by his treatment of his wife, Joan, his womanizing while drunk and under the influence of drugs, his support of his nephew, William Kennedy Smith, after he raped a young lady, and of course his actions which led to the death of Mary Jo Kopechne. Ted’s treatment of women came after watching the male chauvinistic actions of his two brothers highlighted by their “passing around” of Marilyn Monroe until her death. Again Ted did pass legislation to buy female votes.
• Other legislative accomplishments include the COBRA Act of 1985, the 1990 Americans With Disabilities Act, the Civil Rights Act of 1991, and the State Children's Health Insurance Program, which passed in 1997.
Ted’s lifetime goal is to Nationalize/Socialize Health Care for all but the Elite. If successful a Government run system will destroy the greatest health care system in the world. This will have no effect on those elites living in the Kennedy Compound
.• More recently, Kennedy negotiated compromises with President George W. Bush that led to passage of the No Child Left Behind Act of 2002.
Which the Dems now want to kill by passing all students and eliminating any educational standards. Has anyone heard Kennedy defend Bush's No Child Left Behind?
• A longtime advocate of amnesty for illegal immigrants, Kennedy co-sponsored the Immigration Reform Act of 2007, which failed following a grassroots backlash against lax U.S. border control policies.
Again anything to buy votes for the Liberal Elite. Success of passing Amnesty in the future by the likes of the Democratic Liberal Elite will do more damage to this Country than all of Teddie’s Other Follies Combined.
So that is the list of his legislative accomplishments that should make us overlook "the flaws".
As Billy Roy Micham says, "old Liberals never die, their life's work just continues to kill generations of taxpayers."
While we all have our flaws, we should be careful who we hold up as heroes. My heroes are the young soldiers in Iraq (who Ted Kennedy did not support), the firemen and police officers rushing into the Twin Towers, and the pilot who landed in the East River saving his passengers instead of fleeing the scene of a negligent crime as a young lady clawed at the car door to get out.
And now we are supposed to blindly sign on to Obama's Government takeover of Health Care because we owe it to Ted Kennedy.
This is only my personal opinion, but I don't think so.
Jim
Friday, August 21, 2009
"First Day of School" in Hubbard as Obama Works the Indian Vote
Well Sue, my three grandchildren, and I just spent the weekend in Hubbard to enjoy one more visit with my Mom before school starts. This enabled me to spend time at the Cafe to gain first hand information.
While having breakfast I overheard a converation among the staff of the Hubbard City Cafe who were having a staff meeting to decide which after-shave lotion to buy Bubba, the dish washer, for his birthday. When they asked the world's greatest waitress, Linda, which one she would rather smell on Bubba, without hesitation, she responded that "she didn't want to smell Bubba". I am not sure how that turned out.
We stayed around until Monday afternoon since our kids did not have to get to school until Tuesday. It was well worth it since Donna Riddle, local cattle baron's daughter and second grade school teacher, called the following "first day of school" report into the cafe:
Donna noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and was quite itchy. Donna told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. Ms Riddle went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said. 'I did,' he said,' And Mom told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.'
Scottie Andersen reported on President Barack Obama's recent vacation out West. Obama was working the Indian vote so he and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto woke the president and said, "Kemo bro, look towards sky, what you see?"
Obama replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
Obama pondered for a minute, turned on his teleprompter, then read, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, Mother Nature is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Whats' it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto says, "Obama, you dumber than buffalo shit. It means somebody stole the tent."
And of course, Billy Roy Mitcham then did sum up the Health Care Debate:
"Let me get this straight.
Obama's health care plan will be . . .
. . . written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it,
. . . passed by a Congress that hasn't read it,
. . . signed by a president who smokes,
. . . funded by a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes,
. . . overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and
. . . financed by a country that is nearly broke.
What possibly could go wrong with that? "
Thinking about Tonto for President in 2012.
Jim
While having breakfast I overheard a converation among the staff of the Hubbard City Cafe who were having a staff meeting to decide which after-shave lotion to buy Bubba, the dish washer, for his birthday. When they asked the world's greatest waitress, Linda, which one she would rather smell on Bubba, without hesitation, she responded that "she didn't want to smell Bubba". I am not sure how that turned out.
We stayed around until Monday afternoon since our kids did not have to get to school until Tuesday. It was well worth it since Donna Riddle, local cattle baron's daughter and second grade school teacher, called the following "first day of school" report into the cafe:
Donna noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and was quite itchy. Donna told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. Ms Riddle went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said. 'I did,' he said,' And Mom told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.'
Scottie Andersen reported on President Barack Obama's recent vacation out West. Obama was working the Indian vote so he and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto woke the president and said, "Kemo bro, look towards sky, what you see?"
Obama replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
Obama pondered for a minute, turned on his teleprompter, then read, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, Mother Nature is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Whats' it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto says, "Obama, you dumber than buffalo shit. It means somebody stole the tent."
And of course, Billy Roy Mitcham then did sum up the Health Care Debate:
"Let me get this straight.
Obama's health care plan will be . . .
. . . written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it,
. . . passed by a Congress that hasn't read it,
. . . signed by a president who smokes,
. . . funded by a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes,
. . . overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and
. . . financed by a country that is nearly broke.
What possibly could go wrong with that? "
Thinking about Tonto for President in 2012.
Jim
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Clunker Stuff Piling Up in Hubbard
Not only did the gloves come off this past week but the guns came off the racks in Hubbard over this "clunker" thing. It seems the folks at the drug store were suffering particularly bad one day from downtown global warming to the point that they started calling Scott Riddle's cows "clunkers". If you recall from previous blogs (5/9/09), Scott's cows are believed to be the major cause of global warming in downtown Hubbard (mostly around the drug store where the liberals have coffee) because of their excessive expulsion of gas into Hubbard's surrounding atmosphere. Well, this may be the first time in Hubbard history that anyone called another man's cows bad names.
Now the timing could not have been worse for this name calling because of an email that Butch Jackson, local philosopher and semi-internet surfing expert, had that very day shared with the Conservatives at the Hubbard City Cafe. This email is reported below by Aunt Martha:
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's 'Cash For Clunkers' rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named:
"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this -- Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts. Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, members of private country clubs, people who live in condo towers and gated communities and any member of the Republican Party . Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, brussel sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies. All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.Remember you heard it here first!
Well you see my point about the timing of connecting clunkers to cows to global warming at the drug store while clunkers were being connected to health care and codgers at the City Cafe. And this all came only weeks after the clunker scam had closed down the neighboring City of Whiskey Flats (see 8/06/09 blog).
It's like Billy Roy Michum says, "this Obama crap sure piles up high, doesn't it?"
Meanwhile the Moderates, who take their coffee at the Dairy Queen, stayed above the fray since they could see both sides, and since nobody likes them anyway.
Think about it,
Jim
P. S. Scott Riddle, since this blog went to press, has attempted to trade a couple of cows in for pick up trucks hoping to get the $4,500 clunker price. This writer will report the results in 2011 when Washington completes the processing of his clunker trade in request.
Now the timing could not have been worse for this name calling because of an email that Butch Jackson, local philosopher and semi-internet surfing expert, had that very day shared with the Conservatives at the Hubbard City Cafe. This email is reported below by Aunt Martha:
Democrats, realizing the success of the President's 'Cash For Clunkers' rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.
President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named:
"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this -- Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts. Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, members of private country clubs, people who live in condo towers and gated communities and any member of the Republican Party . Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, brussel sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies. All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.Remember you heard it here first!
Well you see my point about the timing of connecting clunkers to cows to global warming at the drug store while clunkers were being connected to health care and codgers at the City Cafe. And this all came only weeks after the clunker scam had closed down the neighboring City of Whiskey Flats (see 8/06/09 blog).
It's like Billy Roy Michum says, "this Obama crap sure piles up high, doesn't it?"
Meanwhile the Moderates, who take their coffee at the Dairy Queen, stayed above the fray since they could see both sides, and since nobody likes them anyway.
Think about it,
Jim
P. S. Scott Riddle, since this blog went to press, has attempted to trade a couple of cows in for pick up trucks hoping to get the $4,500 clunker price. This writer will report the results in 2011 when Washington completes the processing of his clunker trade in request.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Obama Wants to Get Between Uncle George and the Fridge
After watching the President's townhall meetings last week Butch Jackson, local philosopher and semi-news research specialist posed this question to parents at the Hubbard City Cafe, "how do you teach kid's ethics when our President lies like a junkyard dog being questioned by the Fire Department? To hear Obama tell it, old people in AARP, doctors, insurance companies, and people from all walks of life are all for his newly titled Insurance Reform Plan aka Health Care Reform. When you look at the people behind Obama and his teleprompters they are 100% smiling, nodding, and and wildly applauding the only guy I know that makes Bill Clinton look like a straght shooter. He says the only people against him are mobs who watch cable TV."
Butch said he immediately went to the Rasmussen web site to see when the tide had turned to favor Obama's plan, and this what he found:
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Thirty-five percent (35%) of American voters say passage of the health care bill currently working its way through Congress would be better than not passing any health care reform legislation this year. However, a new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that most voters (54%) say no health care reform passed by Congress this year would be the better option.
Sixty percent (60%) of Democrats say passing the legislation in Congress would be the best course of action. However, 80% of Republicans take the opposite view. Among those not affiliated with either major party, 23% would like the Congressional reform to pass while 66% would rather the legislators take no action.
Voters who earn less than $20,000 a year are evenly divided but a majority of all other voters would prefer no action. Middle income voters, those who earn from $40,000 to $75,000 a year, are most strongly in favor of taking no action.
Billy Roy Mitchum jumped in with both boots. "Looks like there are a lot of Dems who make less than $20,000. I bet there are so many at zero that it pulls the average way down. These folks want everything to be free like it has been for Obama his entire life."
Billy Roy continued. I would hate to see the government get between people and their doctors. My 80 year old uncle recently went for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. Doctor Sammons says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
George, a sometimes practicing Methodist, replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof*!, the light goes on. When I'm done, *poof*!, the light goes off."
"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife, Ethel, a hard shelled Baptist, he says, "George is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof *!, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof*! the light goes off?"
"OH MY GOD!" Ethel exclaims.
"He's peeing in the fridge again!!!!".
We don't need Obama's government between, George, Ethel, and Dr. Sammons. They are doing just fine. All they need is for those unemployed Democrats to go to work so their medical cost will come down and the government can get out of their way.
Think about it,
Jim
Butch said he immediately went to the Rasmussen web site to see when the tide had turned to favor Obama's plan, and this what he found:
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Thirty-five percent (35%) of American voters say passage of the health care bill currently working its way through Congress would be better than not passing any health care reform legislation this year. However, a new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that most voters (54%) say no health care reform passed by Congress this year would be the better option.
Sixty percent (60%) of Democrats say passing the legislation in Congress would be the best course of action. However, 80% of Republicans take the opposite view. Among those not affiliated with either major party, 23% would like the Congressional reform to pass while 66% would rather the legislators take no action.
Voters who earn less than $20,000 a year are evenly divided but a majority of all other voters would prefer no action. Middle income voters, those who earn from $40,000 to $75,000 a year, are most strongly in favor of taking no action.
Billy Roy Mitchum jumped in with both boots. "Looks like there are a lot of Dems who make less than $20,000. I bet there are so many at zero that it pulls the average way down. These folks want everything to be free like it has been for Obama his entire life."
Billy Roy continued. I would hate to see the government get between people and their doctors. My 80 year old uncle recently went for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. Doctor Sammons says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
George, a sometimes practicing Methodist, replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof*!, the light goes on. When I'm done, *poof*!, the light goes off."
"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife, Ethel, a hard shelled Baptist, he says, "George is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof *!, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof*! the light goes off?"
"OH MY GOD!" Ethel exclaims.
"He's peeing in the fridge again!!!!".
We don't need Obama's government between, George, Ethel, and Dr. Sammons. They are doing just fine. All they need is for those unemployed Democrats to go to work so their medical cost will come down and the government can get out of their way.
Think about it,
Jim
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