Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Changes to Idiot's List and New Heroes List

The current top ten ranking of the "Idiot's List" :

1. Barry (had a great week with huge "mispeakings" including the attack on his own GMC trucks)
2. "Martha or Marsha or What Ever" Coakley (Mass. Senate Cand. easily replaced Janet Napolitano who has been put in "time out"
3. Robert Gibbs (continues to stack up idiot points big time)
4. Nancy Peolosi (an immovable object from the land of fruits and nuts)
5. Harry Reid (solidified his position behind his light skinned leader)
6. Bill Clinton (replaced Maxine Waters by saying Haiti was strategic to the US because of it's #1 AIDS ranking)
7. Barney Frank (laying low but we remember him)
8. Henry Waxman (looks more like a weasel than weasels)
9. Al Franken (how do we get him more involved?)
10. Tie: Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins, Ben Nelson, Joe Lieberman, and George Bush (Joins the group by enlisting in the Barry and Bill Haiti efforts even as they continue to blame him for everything. He could have just supported the Red Cross instead.)

Continues to be Disqualified: Joe Biden (considered as an "Off the Chart" idiot and unrankable)

The Brand New and Somewhat Different Cafe Heroes Almost Top Ten List

1. Scott Brown, Mass. Senator Candidate (leaps to the top of the list win or lose)
2. Glen Beck (hitting the ball out of the park but may be on steroids)
3. Rush Limbaugh (consistency over, over, and over again)
4. Newt Gingrich (really smart and gets it right most of the time)
5. Martha Coakley (thank you Marsha)
6. Barrack (conservatives couldn't do it without him)
7. Dr. Martin Luther King (a true conservative, really, "content of character" true believer, etc.)
8. Ronald Reagan Placeholder (places 8-10 and waiting for applicants)
9.
10.

Inputs and comments welcome,

Jim

Monday, January 18, 2010

One of Mom's Favorite Jokes

Mom loves a good joke. She loves even more to share them at the Hubbard City Cafe. This is her latest:

One winter morning a husband and wife in Buffalo were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park....." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Life is good,

Jim


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Who would you waterboard? Horseshit lists grows rapidly!

These are busy times at the Hubbard City Cafe.

Butch Jackson posed the question to the Cafe, "Who would you waterboard to save your children from a horrible death like an exploding bomb in an airplane?"

Billy Roy responded with, "Obviously the light skinned orator and clean, President Obama, and his idiotic Attorney General, Eric Holder, will not waterboard captured Jihadists to save our children. I wonder if Obama would waterboard one of these punks if his own children were being held hostage? I bet he would in a manic minute if it were his daughters."

Butch Jackson retorted, "Hell, I would waterboard my own Mother if if would save the life of any ones' children. Wouldn't you?"

The silence that followed confirmed the hard, but right choice.

Billy Roy summed up, "Only idiotic liberal elite lawyers would rather protect the rights of Jihadist Scum than protect American children."

This conversation prompted an extension of the Horse Shit List:

Bailout: A process by which the Democrats after forcing companies (banks) to make bad business decisions (loans to Democratic voters who are poor credit risks) then loans the banks tax payer money to keep them from going bankrupt claiming that they are too large to fail and would destroy the entire world's economy. This action is soon followed by the banks improving their operations to the point of being able to pay back these government loans enabling the banks to then place huge taxes on the banks to pay for providing free health care to Democratic voters as a punishment for improving their operations too much.

Global Justice: The term is used by Obama-nites to provide Jihadist Terrorists who murder innocent men, women, children, and people of unknown genders with fancy lawyers and legal rights at the expense of the taxpayer resulting in protecting these cowardly Radical Muslim fanatics from having to share intelligence data that is essential to the protection of Americans and other people around the world. Non-Obama-nites, a huge majority and rapidly growing number of Americans, categorize this simply as "putting Terrorist's rights ahead of the safety of Americans". Obama-nites argue that by treating these people allegedly suspected of "man made disasters" fairly, fewer of them will be motivated to blow our asses up.

Finger Pointing: The term used when the Democratic Government screws up that keeps anyone from identifying who was responsible for the screw up. This process would be the opposite of a "whistle blower" program. While the President will accept screw ups, he "will not tolerate" finger pointing within his administration.

Partisan Politics: This term is used by Democratic Administrations when they screw up and Republicans "finger point" at them. It is considered by Democrats to be unfair.

Comprehensive Immigration Reform: This title is used for a legislative bill that would make illegal immigrants, who have broken American laws by illegally entering and remaining in the USA, legal. This bill would give these illegals voting rights and would give the Democrats the large majority of these millions of new voters and insure there elections in several states and nationally. Surprisingly, this legislation has been supported by President George Bush and Presidential Nominee John McCain before Republicans found out these two men were not real Republicans.

Comprehensive Health Care Reform or Comprehensive Anything: Comprehensive is a code name for any bill that is so complex no politician can read it nor any voter can understand it. All of the bills are aimed at the Federal Government taking over whatever is being reformed.

Global Warming and Climate Change: The folks at the Cafe have no idea in Hell what these terms mean other than the obvious. The World warms (and cools), and climates change four times a year probably tied to the seasons.

Additions are welcome,

Jim

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Surprise, Surprise: The Story Behind Obama's Presidency

Letter to: The Hubbard City Cafe

From: Jim Hammock

What a surprise? Even Harry Reid thought the Democrats could elect a candidate to the office of the President of the United States if he was a "good orator, light skinned, and did not speak using a Negro dialect, except when he wanted to". Remember when a political analyst as astute as old Joe Biden said, "I mean, you got the first sort of mainstream African American who's articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

Wow, clean?

Notice no discussion nor concerns about the candidate's experience, ethics, leadership qualities, or even views concerning national or international issues. No concerns about the possibility that the candidate might be a socialist, a man of black militant faith, has an obvious Islamic background and education, no questions even about his ability to prove his citizenship, no investigation into close connections to organizations like ACORN or other "Social Justice" movements, nor a strong desire to completely "transform" the US economy by re-distributing wealth from the current stake holders to those chosen by the "chosen one". No concerns were exposed about the candidate exhibiting all the signs of someone with a pathological Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Hell, the guy has had more names than a New Orleans lap dancer.

In today's political arena all of those pesky little flaws and details can be managed. Particularly if Candidate Obama follows someone in office who has been crucified by the press and the opposing party for a good 7 of his 8 years. Particularly if he is running against someone as unattractive as Hillary Clinton who is threatening the nation with 4 more years of Bill staining the oval office. Particularly if he runs against a John McCain who is such a gentleman and patriot that he believes it would be disloyal to bring up any of these little uncomfortable topics that might disrupt the civil discourse of the campaign. Best to keep it positive and at the 60,000-100,000 foot level as not to drag voters into too many boring details.

Well, that's what happened, and now we see what we have. The American voters closed their eyes and shed years of racial guilt by electing a nice young black couple with two beautiful children to the highest office in the most powerful nation of the world.

Man, if it weren't for those pesky little flaws and details this would be such a great fictional story. Yeah, if it weren't for the parts that are real: things like our economy, security, and freedom.

Think about it,

Jim

Friday, January 8, 2010

Obama Sabotages US Intelligence

Billy Roy Mitchum, local Merle Haggard type country and western singer, thinks the President was a day late and dollar short in accepting responsibility for the performance of our intelligence community as demonstrated by the Christmas Day Jihadist Bomber, "After using every kind of wiggle his people could think of, including saying the system worked, finally our leader after two weeks decided to try the old 'it's my fault' trick. The way bigger problem is that Obama doesn't have a clue as to what he has done wrong nor how to fix much less manage anything, and particularly something this complex and important."

BR then looked to Butch Jackson, local owner of all statictics and historian of some local fame, for confirmation. Butch pulled from his pocket a little read crumpled print out of an L. A. Times article published just a few short months after the Obama Administration had started the destruction (he says transformation) of the American dream and began to read:

"FBI planning a bigger role in terrorism fight

Bureau agents will gather evidence to ensure that criminal prosecutions of alleged terrorists are an option. The move is a reversal of the Bush administration's emphasis on covert CIA actions.

May 28, 2009Josh Meyer

WASHINGTON — The FBI and Justice Department plan to significantly expand their role in global counter-terrorism operations, part of a U.S. policy shift that will replace a CIA-dominated system of clandestine detentions and interrogations with one built around transparent investigations and prosecutions.

Under the "global justice" initiative, which has been in the works for several months, FBI agents will have a central role in overseas counter-terrorism cases. They will expand their questioning of suspects and evidence-gathering to try to ensure that criminal prosecutions are an option, officials familiar with the effort said."

After a stunning pause Butch said, "This is only one of many things, including allowing Holder (the Attorney General) to investigate CIA interrogations, that Obama has done to completely neuter our intelligence community. The liberal elites hate the military, and they hate the intelligence organizations even more. Now as the President's Preacher Rev. Wright says 'the chickens are coming home to roost', and there is chicken shit all over the White House."

Scotty Andersen, local summarizer of wisdom, wrapped it up, "This little article about the CIA is just one of hundreds of stupid things this bunch has done and is doing. This country has a real big shovel and can dig out of most anything, but I'll tell you what, we better start digging damn soon."

Think about it,

Jim

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Cafe Publishes First Horse Shit List

A raging debate about whether there is a semi-major difference between Bull Shit and Horse Shit resulted in the following: The almost unanimous consensus appears to be that Bull Shit is the result of untruths, lies, and major exaggerations. Whereas, Horse Shit is the direct result of crazy, ridiculous, and mostly completely stupid utterances, phrases, or terms.

The first Horse Shit List is short, powerful, and smells about right.

Man Caused Disasters: Term used by Democrats when people of the Muslim faith take action to slaughter, mutilate, and maim completely innocent Non-Muslims (Infidels) by having young and sometimes retarded young people take suicidal actions with the promise of gaining a ticket to an Islamic paradise. These actions are known as Terrorist Acts by non-Democrats.

No Smoking Gun: Term used by Democrats after they fail to stop a terrorist attack (Fort Hood, Detroit, etc.). The smoke from the ashes of the World Trade Twin Towers would be a "smoking gun", after which law enforcement and defense lawyers can go to work tracking down the "alleged perpetrators" and protecting their rights.

Alleged: Term used to describe an accused perpetrator up until the time the American Legal System finishes its process. Until that time the perpetrator is an alleged criminal. For example the Fort Hood shooter will be "alleged" for several years until he recovers from his wounds and is able to go through the legal process which will include many psychological tests to insure his mental health. This process will takes years and millions of tax payer $$$$s in the process of protecting the shooter's rights.

Sanctions: Actions by multiple countries (usually US and European) to take economic measures against a country who is building nuclear weapons and vowing to eliminate other countries (usually Israel). These actions always have no effect whatsoever since other countries (usually Russia and China) counter the economic measures. The only thing more useless is to Threaten Sanctions (which we have been doing with the Iranians for years).

Think about it and click comment to add your favorites to the list,

Jim

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Why the American Public Must Mobilize in Support of the WAR

When all the smoke clears there are four major actions that the Hubbard City Cafe thinks Obama must, and probably will not, do in our WAR against terror:

1. Use ethnic profiling to screen potential terrorists. Terrorists have the following profile: name (my gosh half are named Mohammad), Muslim, ages 18-30, dark (skin, hair, and eyes), traveling traits (cash, no checked luggage, seating in strategic seat locations), and associations with suspicious nations and institutions (Middle East, Africa, UK, American Prisons, etc.). So why are we having Grandma take her shoes off for security checks when we should be strip searching travelers with the above profile. If Obama doesn't profile then he is more concerned with treating Muslims fairly than saving American lives.

2. Treat captured potential terrorists as Military Combatants. It's a WAR STUPID. No Miranda Rights, no civil lawyers, use interrogation techniques as needed, and play to WIN. Winning is the destruction of the Bad Guys (PERIOD). It is a battle of wills and commitment to victory. The nature of the fight says the WAR will go on for a long, long time. Obama and the Dems can not "pull out" of this WAR since the terroists will "follow us home".

3. Unleash and support the CIA. Force everyone to share information with the CIA, and at the same time, let the CIA share information on a selective basis. Understand that anything the FBI touches will be treated as a federal law enforcement issue instead of WAR. Anyone who reads a Vince Flynn novel understands why covert operations can not share information with the FBI, Congress, or local law enforcement except as needed. Covert intelligence is the key to victory in this WAR.

4. Punish any nation or organization that provides a sanctuary for terrorists. Punishing does not mean nation building. We do not have the resources to cure all the problems in Afghanistan, Yemen, Somalia, Iran, etc. (note Iraq is not on the list as our presence there is strategic in keeping the Middle East a free market for 70% of the world's oil). Punishing means covert intelligence, strategic military strikes, economic punishment, support for regime changes, and condemnation.

This action includes Islamic religious organizations. This WAR will end when the Muslims understand that their radical elements can not win and are hurting so called moderate Muslims around the world. Indeed if the Islamic religion is a religion of peace then Muslims must police Islamic Extremists for the good of all. Moderate Muslims must be forced to take sides.

And yet Eric Holder, Obama's Attorney General and Chief Law Enforcer, thinks we are threatened more by radicalized US Citizens, "What we've seen in the recent past, I think, is an indication of one of the things that we're going to have to be most concerned about in the future, this self-radicalization of American citizens or people who reside in the United States. They have too often come under the influence of people who have misinterpreted Islam." Is this not a Muslim sympathizer? Who is brainwashed, American Citizens or Obama/Holder?

The Cafe predicts Obama will completely whiff on the first three issues, and at best, just stick his ugly toe in the fourth action. They feel Dick Cheney is doing the best job of calling out Obama on these issues and his is a fairly lonely voice. The public must mobilize and the sooner the better.

Lets do more than just think about it,

Jim